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Feel as though things are getting on top of me

Old 03-06-2009, 12:47 PM
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Feel as though things are getting on top of me

I just wanted to ramble about what's going on at the moment.

I feel as though a number of things are getting to me.

First of all money worries, i work for myself so it's easy to get lazy at times. I guess i have had a slow couple of weeks, so now i find myself in a predicament where all my bills have come at once. I have figured that out though, and just need to work hard over the next couple of weeks. Doesn't alter the fact that it gets to me though.

The other thing i have had going on is that girl i met a few weeks back, which i have posted about on this forum. I finished with her earlier last week but she doesn't seem to want to take no for an answer. It can be draining.

Anyway, a few days ago on my Facebook page she totally misread some comments to me by a female friend of mine. PM'ed me, taking me for a player, even though i told her where i stood with her. What has got to me is that these comments were totally innocent. I guess it kind of reminds me about how i used to be with women, i have always cheated. But i am not like that anymore.

I came to the point where i thought why should i have to explain myself to anybody?

Then i am having issues with me ex wife and kid stuff.

You know when you get to a point and you just think f**k it and fancy a night out partying, just to let your hair down. Well i am at that point.

I am not going to drink, at all, i value my sobriety. I did think about going to AA tonight, but went for a swim instead. I am meeting a friend later tonight so i will enjoy myself.

But sometimes i think that i am always to worried about what other people think of me, i guess they're just renting space in my head.

Anyway i wanted to ramble and i have, any thoughts will be appreciated as always.

Paul
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Old 03-06-2009, 12:52 PM
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Sounds like you're makin' the right moves, homie. Thanks for sharing!

Oh yeah.. I thought that gal was married...?
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Old 03-06-2009, 12:57 PM
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Amazing how when it rains it pours...I hear you about letting people rent space in your head...a difficult hurdle to get over for sure. I think, for me, it came with age...the older I get the less I care about peoples opinion of me.

I'm so glad to hear that your sobriety is not an issue...recovery at it's finest.
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:00 PM
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Thanks DK

Oh yeah.. I thought that gal was married...?
She has a boyfriend. She reckons she's gonna finish with him and give him up for me. I said that is just way to heavy for me, i do not want to be the cause on the break up cus it will put too much pressure on the fact that we have to work.

She's gets so jealous over the smallest thing with me it's unreal. I have been straight down the line with her, set the matter straight and i still have had headaches with her. In the end i said to her why should i have to explain myself when your the one with the boyfriend.

Just dont need it at the mo, know what i mean?

Paul
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:02 PM
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I came to the point where i thought why should i have to explain myself to anybody?
Amen! And you know what? You don't. Especially not to her, not about anything on stupid Facebook. She has better things to be worried about, and you have better things to do with your time than deal with all that!

I like that you went for a swim. Did it make you feel better? Glad to hear you value your sobriety. I can certainly relate to being worried about what others think and trying to get all that out of your head. Keep the focus where it belongs - on you and keeping yourself well. You're doing great.
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:03 PM
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TSH, the swim woke me up, thats about it, refreshing after work. lol
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:28 PM
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The dog even s**t on the carpet this morning,lol, i'm having one of those days.

Paul
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:29 PM
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LOL dig - not funny - but I TOTALLY know exactly what you mean!
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:43 PM
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well..i don't do well in relationships, (understatment)...but i do no that wishy washy overs don't seem to work particualry well...i learned a long time ago that done is done! no maybe later, or dancing around it....we're through.....i've sucessfully detached from a number of people that way
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:49 PM
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I have figured out what's up with me, just being here for the last hour.

Things have got on top of me, but having read LaDita's thread on envy somethings popped in my mind.

I met up with an old school friend a couple of weeks ago. We were best mates at school and i haven't seen him in twenty years or so.

Anyway i had coffee at his house, he is a Christian, has a nice big house, nice car, nice job, nice wife, nice 2 kids. I have been comparing my life to his these last couple of weeks. After reading the thread, i have realised i am envious of him. I have even wondered whether religion will work for me.

Thanks guys.

I am off out to meet a friend in a bit, i have just put my heater on in my room, put the electric blanket on, so i am looking forward to getting back too, will check in later.

Paul
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Old 03-06-2009, 01:52 PM
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Time to read Chiy's sig line methinks...

Your life might not be the same as his, but it doesn't make it worth any less. I'm sure he's got his own set of issues that you're not aware of. We all do.

Don't set your house on fire! Be well, Paul.
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Old 03-07-2009, 06:54 PM
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Hey Didge,

I've been thinking about your post ever since I read it last night, about the Facebook drama in particular. It's funny because someone and I were having a discussion about this topic today.
Your situation is very common on social networking sites.
This stuff happens all the time. I've been on both sides of it.
Awhile ago I decided that it should be put into law that people who are only casually dating should NOT link up to eachother's pages on social networking sites. Too much can get misinterpreted, it's way too easy to read too much into things on people's pages and it causes alot of drama. My friend told me that social networking sites ruin relationships.
Sounds a little far-fetched, but it's very true in many cases.

I don't mean to change the topic, but I was dating a guy who had alot of female 'friends' on his page. The kind of girl's whose pictures showed alot of cleavage and stuff, you know, 'those' kinds, as well as alot of "ex's" and girl's he was 'on and off' with (which I found out much later). I learned a really big lesson from that experience, not that it's anything similar to yours.
I'm alot more cautious on those sites now and I'm very careful with what I do and say and more selective about the people I add.

If this woman can't take no for an answer, I would suggest maybe deleting her off your FB page. Staying connected on there is not worth the anguish for either of you.
It sounds like your over your head in toxic relationships and baggage from your previous ones right now, maybe it would be a good idea to step back and stay completely and totally single for awhile? I've noticed that when people have alot of baggage and issues from previous relationships, it's difficult for them to have healthy ones in the present.
Just a thought and I hope I didn't come off harsh!

Hugs!

Last edited by LaDita; 03-07-2009 at 06:56 PM. Reason: grammatical edit
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Old 03-07-2009, 08:28 PM
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I advise against deleting her contact info. To me exes are sort of like drug dealers in this way: when either of them call, you want to know who it is so you know not to pick up the call. (True story. I deleted my dealers' numbers after 3 weeks clean because I did not want the temptation to call them. They called the very next day. So now I just keep them so I know not to pick up.)
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Old 03-08-2009, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by LaDita
If this woman can't take no for an answer, I would suggest maybe deleting her off your FB page.
I have done that, thought it was for the best.

Originally Posted by LaDita
It sounds like your over your head in toxic relationships and baggage from your previous ones right now, maybe it would be a good idea to step back and stay completely and totally single for awhile?
Thanks, i guess i have got to a point where i have had some massive changes over the last 18 months, since i decided to get sober. I have been single for around 9, 10 months and thought it would be good to start getting out and enjoying myself. Obviously this involves visiting 'wet places', clubs, pubs, etc. but i am at a point in my sobriety where i feel that maybe i'm missing out on that scene. I have enjoyed going out and in no way will i let this get in the way of sobriety. But i do take your point that maybe i should stay single for a while.

Paul
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