TryingSoHard

How'd ya miss the cheesecake, Phal?! I posted it just for you!

TryingSoHard

I felt like bustin' out with something random, so, in honor of spring (please hurry!), here's a picture of a flower from my garden a couple of years ago.

jowinbo

oh my gosh!! i am so very, very sorry!!!! my oldest grandaughter is 13? i cannot understand the pain you are all in!!!! i am so sorry!

stone

Hi TSH.

Nice pics and cake!

KindBird

Been away from this thread for a while and want to say hi - have missed all of you. :ghug

TryingSoHard

Why is it so hard to be honest with myself?

Why can I take care of everyone else, but not take care of me?

Fubarcdn

I missed this a long time ago but wanted to say no need to be sorry. I really enjoyed looking at that cheesecake.
Just because I am on a diet don't mean I can't look at the menu.
Now I am going back to view those pastries one more time. All new pictures of delectacle goodies are appreciated.

Eclipse

Hi Friend,

I think its called the mom thing. I do the same thing. We need to learn to do something for ourselves. My new thing is sitting down and reading a book. I love to read, never have time, if I do it late at night I fall asleep and slobber on the book. I also have tried to do it while drying my hair with the blow dryer in the morning and putting weights on the book to keep it open...but that just doesn't count. We just need to take the time no matter what....like Nike says....JUST DO IT! Its Nike right?:ghug3

TryingSoHard

No one has ever seemed to take care of me to the extent that I take care of others. I don't know if that makes sense or not... But it's like, I always seem to go "above and beyond" and do all the little things to make sure my friends and family are happy and well taken care of. But when someone has to take care of me for a change, it's as if I get the bare minimum. I won't be left to starve or dehydrate, but that's about it.

I'm tired of constantly having to be The Grown Up. It wears me down. I need there to be a Second Grown Up in the house with me. If I wanted a third child I wouldn't have had my tubes tied.

I'm starting to have daily flashbacks, or reminders, for lack of a better term of why I used to want to drink so much. What I was trying to get away from and forget about. It's really hard now, not having that crutch to lean on. I find myself searching and searching for SOME way... any way to get that feeling of escape back.

I feel so out of the loop. So disconnected. Here. With my best friend (if I can even call her that anymore). With my mom and dad. With everyone and everything. I don't feel like I BELONG.

Ananda

T....

I have found that there comes a time in sobriety where the things that I use to use the alchohol to deal with are back in my face....It's the hard part of this deal...I am having to seek counceling and work much harder on looking at myself and what is going on now then I did at 2 or 3 months sober....I believe that these issues come back up for us when our mind believes we are "safe" enough to deal with the issues.

I believe that it is a sign of our strenght that we are now ready to look at some underliying problems and start to work on solutions...

but it scks i know

TryingSoHard

!

TryingSoHard

nands

gneiss

gneiss

(((((TSH)))))

I can kinda relate to this, but in a different way perhaps? My sis is special needs. She was in a car accident when I was 13 (nearly 15 years ago), and has never fully recovered from her head injury sustained in that accident, and after that I sort of had this caretaker role shoved onto me because she required so much attention. It was never something I wanted to do; my own needs (basic parenting/guidance, and even just a night of teenage normalcy once in a while) were not met, but I had to help take care of her instead. I've worked very hard to understand that my parents were doing the best they could, but I still resent it and probably always will.

I end up at the same place though: feeling like I've been taking care of other people at my own expense, that I don't really mater so much to anyone including myself, and feeling disconnected.

I don't really have any practical advice other than its ok to feel that way and it helps to just take a day and do what you want. Leave hubby in charge of the kids or whatever and take a day for yourself. Maybe explain to hubby that he will be helping take care of you if he takes the kids for a day while you go to a spa or take a walk around a park or whatever fits your fancy.

And keep posting, of course.

TryingSoHard

Sunday night randomness:

In the past 4 days I've made 3 batches of banana bread and 2 lemon meringue pies. Only 1 mini-loaf of bread and 3 slices of pie remain.

I'm two weeks behind on Grey's Anatomy. How the freak does that happen? I'm all caught up on Desperate Housewives, though. Lame that they're going to drag this crap out for the next 5 episodes, but what else do I expect?

Mariposa18

I've never had lemon meringue pie! Can you believe that?

TryingSoHard

This was the first time I've ever made meringue. I guess it came out ok... the first pie got eaten in one day so I made a second one last night when we had company. :P

TryingSoHard

Not to brag, but my banana bread ALWAYS gets rave reviews. It disappears REALLY quickly. I made a triple-batch this time, which left us with 8 mini-loaves and 1 full-size loaf. We have 1 full-size loaf left. I think I personally have eaten TWO SLICES and that's it. Shameful!

TryingSoHard

The pie was really good, but it confused me... it tasted an AWFUL LOT like key lime pie!! I squeezed the lemon juice and zested the lemon myself! I KNOW it's a lemon pie!! Tastes good, but tastes like key lime!!

Mariposa18

Okay...I've never had Key Lime Pie either! *runs to hide in shame*