Bamboozle

I need some inspiration here, folks. I'm within a hair of my @ss of relapsing right now. I'm so close to saying fk it.

I'm hanging on now...I think I pissed everyone off at work because I didn't really talk to anyone the last half of my shift. I absolutly cannot control my moods. They don't understand...when I get this way I can't be around anyone...and I couldn't exactly walk out on the job....that would make things worse. I think I'm calling off for tomorrow.

I'm really low right now.

Anything....post anything. Anyone have any good jokes or interesting stories? It doesn't have to be recovery based.

bugsworth

OK Bam here is a joke...heard it from an 82 year old lady at work.

Why are sex and snow alike?

You never know how many inches your going to get or how long it will last!

Hang in there Bam...take a walk...punch a pillow....take a bath...read a book...do anything but don"t allow yourself to be swayed from your commitment...THINK this all the way to the end Bam....you know how ugly it will get!

Mariposa18

Okay, you know you don't want to do this!!!!! Let out some steam however you need to. Like Bugs said, THINK THIS ALL THE WAY TO THE END!

Oh Okay, I have a silly story =) A few years ago my Mom, Hubby and I were at an amusement park. Suddenly my Hubby gets my attention and says "Look, it's KID ROCK!" My Mom asks "WHO?" to which Hubby replies "KID ROCK, the one dating Pamela Anderson" So my Mom GOES OVER TO HIM and asks him "Excuse me, are you CHRIS ROCK?!" He smiles at her and says "Yeah, Sure" and just walks away

stone

The urges will pass much more quickly than the aftermath of drinking Bam....be strong!

Dee74

you know that post I posted to you yesterday, Bam? LOL
what I said then holds true - there's nothing good back there

hugs
D

TryingSoHard

D, are you psychic?

:ghug3 Bam. Hang in there, sweets. Don't do anything impulsive that you'll regret later.

I have to go get the teenager now but will be back soon.

@Mari - ROFL @ Chris Rock!!!!

doorknob

Bam, what's the longest you've stayed sober so far?

allport

Bam :ghug3 don't do it, I know to my cost the **** that will follow and although that temporary release is tempting it just won't last.

Go back and read Chiynita's thread in Newcomers I've never read a better description of what this can do to us.

Dee74

It's the timezone thing TSH



one of my favorite (inoffensive) Billy Connolly jokes

Bily parked his range rover in a car park and left his expensive banjo on the back seat. When he came back the window had been smashed and Billy naturally assumed the banjo had been stolen.

When he looked in, there were TWO banjos on the back seat.
D

Fubarcdn

This is a true story about when I had the farm and viagra just came out.
I had a rooster and his name was Brooster. Brooster was getting old, my egg production was way down but I liked him so I didn't want to get a new rooster.
The vet recommended viagra but only a quarter tab.
That worked great and the egg production was way up. I got greedy and gave him a half tab and Brooster was extra frisky and egg production increased again.
I got greedy again and gave old Brooster a whole tab. I came out to the yard in the morning and the hens were all exhausted and sleeping and Brooster was lying on his back with the vultures circling overhead.
I went to him holding back a tear and said Brooster I am sorry I killed you.
He winked at me and said get out of here now I am just waiting for one of those hot mamas to land.

Bamboozle

This time around...75 days today. Around the 50's it was really hairy, too.

I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm being punched in the gut...I'm still standing, but I can only take so many more hits before I fall down...

I called off of work already...I'm going to call my doctor's office tomorrow and see what I have to do to get a referral to a psychiatrist. Shoot, even when I get the referral it will probably be a while before I get in. I was going to wait the month or so until my next appointment to ask, but I don’t think I’ll make it. The waiting was wishful thinking…I was hoping a little time would help. I know better than that…I’m getting worse, slowly but surely.

I went for a walk...1.5 hours....I don't feel any better at all. Nothing's working tonight. I do appreciate everyone's posts, though...at the very least it brought a smile to my face.

I'm still sober right now...I'm afraid to leave the house...well, that doesn't matter anyways because I know where my mom keeps her booze...and there’s enough there to do the trick.

My plan tonight is to do everything but drink. I really hope I can stick with it. I'm really pissed that the walking didn't help this time.

I’m also afraid that whenever I do see a psychiatrist I won’t be taken seriously. I’m really afraid of this…I honestly feel that this is the only chance I have left. I don’t want the door slammed in my face. I’m scared.

stone

(((Bam)))

Bamboozle

I love my mom.



She just came home from work...and was belching a lot and farting. She tells me that she's really gassy....she is....she looks like she's pregnant! I've never seen a stomach that distended because of gas before! I couldn't help it...I laughed myself stupid....I needed that. Hopefully that's enough to get me through tonight.

gneiss

Here's some random musings I posted on my Facebook the other day. My cousin told me, "This is soooo long, and soooo worth it." I cut a couple things out; hope it amuses you a bit. Hang in there Bam.

A couple of weeks ago members of a church in town left a tract on my car windshield. It happened to be one of those fake $20 bills. It's folded and at first glance it looks like a bill folded in quarters. When you open it up, it is half the length of a bill and it asks if you are disappointed that it wasn't a real bill, and then states you should find God if you were disappointed and heavily implies you will go to Hell if you do not. The church's name, logo, and address were stamped on the back.

In the past months I have had a few experiences that have made me look for strength, both within myself and elsewhere. My best friend came through in fine style, and I will always be grateful for that, whether we stay friends or not (and I most definitely would like to remain friends). But in my quest I ran into a person who has infinite faith in God. I used to believe in God, I was of average religiosity. But people change, times change, and I found that the idea of God no longer really cut it for me. I became agnostic, and when I finally quit fighting it I found I was much happier because I was not trying to force myself to believe something that really did not make sense to me (I won't even discuss how I feel as this pertains to calculus, especially since my calc 2 professor would do half a problem on the board, announce a miracle had occurred, and scribble out the answer. No wonder I had to take it twice. I digress). Even so, this person's faith is somewhat inspiring, in a weird way. Occasionally it makes me wish I could believe. But I can't. (S)he tells me everything happens for a reason.

As I was driving around town the other day I noticed some people out by the road asking for donations. Not "Will Work For Food" types, but people from a church asking for money. I wondered why these people did not ask their own church members for donations, especially since the signs they held had no obvious cause to support. As far as I could tell they just wanted money to support their church. As traffic inched forward at the traffic light I realized it was the same church that had left a fake $20 note on my car a couple weeks earlier. Why exactly should I give these people money? They had enough money to purchase tracts to put on cars, clearly they weren't that bad off. I opened a storage compartment on my car and found the tract exactly where I had left it. I folded it in half, rolled down the window, and offered it to the lady taking donations. "I hope you aren't disappointed," I said with a smile as she took the tract. I rolled up the window and glanced up just long enough to catch the glare. I have cleaned out my car twice since that tract was left, I have no idea why I did not throw it away.

Maybe everything does happen for a reason.

Taking5

Hang in there Bam. PM me if you need to.

Fubarcdn

Tjhat was an amusing story Gneiss. I am sure that will put a smile on Bam's face.

Bamboozle

times 1,000!


That's absolutly hilarious. Thanks, gneiss. I may have to print that one out.

Bamboozle

Hey, Phal...that took me a few seconds before I got it...I'm a little slow right now.

I love you secular peeps. Thank you so much...thank you for your support and the laughs.

Bamboozle

I feel relieved that I'm not going to work tomorrow...that's one less stressor I have to deal with for one day...I'll take that.

I'm probably going to bed soon...I hope everyone is having a good day/night.

gneiss

It's ok, Bam. I read it a couple times before I realize the sign says he'll eat for food.