lunarise

uhmmm...peeps....?...... ya arent reading all the posts.....

In the second, most recent post of mine to this thread, I explain how my thoughts on this have changed from the original post.

Thanks for all the support and posts guys.....

SillyBilly

I think I posted before I checked the date of your first post, but after I thought, why delete it when it's already there?

Here's some words of wisdom from Star Wars in relation to your post Rad44

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes"

Yes and no. It gets better if we remain abstinent. Because it loses its power.
BUT if we go back to drinking THEN it gets worse.

jowinbo

sorry i do understand

SillyBilly

Perhaps I should rephrase what I said.

WE get better if we remain abstinent. The alcoholism will always be a problem.

In my original post I never said it goes away.

Brae

I was the original poster in this thread. I have been sober for quite a while now and I can say with great certainty that I cannot now, nor ever, drink like a normal person. The "itch" that I refereed to in earlier posts is much quieter now but its volume solely depends upon my health in that moment.
My life no longer revolves around drinking or not drinking but around living well.
I choose life.
I choose reality and all that it entails.
My only concern now is making each moment another decision towards loving each moment.
~Blessings

davidf938

I am in no way powerless over alcohol. It is an inanimate object. A local store places alcohol, soda, and bottled water in the "beverage' department. I have been in this section many times since I have been sober. Not once has a bottle of alcohol tried to force itself down my throat. It has no power! If we were truely powerless, we would all die drunk. This myth causes the impressionable to "Keep coming back", filling treatment center beds and keeping them in business. How sad is that?

Brae

It is my experience that I have a choice as to whether or not to take the first drink...after that...my allergy to alcohol takes over and I then have no control over the physical craving for more. This of course leads back to the mental obsession. That is how it played out for me every time I thought I could go back. That has been my experience.

Bob36

I too have just skimmed this thread. So sorry for any redundancy or impertinence
But- I quit coke/weed which were my problem drugs. and stopped alcohol because it was a gateway to use. I rarely abused alcohol until coke became a problem (similar maybe to Gneiss's situation) Since sobriety I have drank socially with no problem. And one of my strategies is to not drink during any situation which I formerly automatically equated with alcohol. It has worked well- as a musician, all my gigs are with water now- and Im really enjoying the sobriety.
after my last show, I sat down for a beer , then split a second one with one of my horn players- aprox 18oz. I felt it the next day - which is good because I used to be a two beer a day kind of person nearly every day. My drinking has decreased to 1 a week- and after that night- the appeal has lessened.
Same with workouts. After a long run a beer with water helps with dehydration and is a pleasure- so I quit doing that - just to exert my conscious decision making over my pleasure/reward basal ganglia addiction voice- Ill reintegrate it later. But, if my last experience is a guide- I might just stop altogether. Sobriety has felt wonderful - way better than I would have imagined- now even moderate beer drinking seems to be fading.

But the real test was last nights grilling. I made my fire, and realized- holy moly - this is the one ritual that any self respecting red neck needs a beer with.
It was fine without.

It seems that, as I realize I CAN socially drink. Im also less inspired to do so because I really love my present body/mental state.

Cant believe I wasted so many years not feeling as good as I could have.
I love this part of life right now.

Bob36

I also want to say- upon re reading my post- that I dont in any way want to present the idea that social drinking is possible for everyone. Brae's original post could easily be me talking about weed. I can't smoke once - can't stand being around it- and I often am- but it horrifies me to think of the cloud I stayed in with that ****. I can also easily foresee total abstinence from alchohol- just to avoid the mental noise around the idea of drinking socially- going forward I want to be as healthy as possible and gluten/sugar are in my sights next- which would include beer.

logo

Don't be confused about alcohol. Alcohol is a drug. The drug is ethyl alcohol. Ether. That is why it will knock you out before you can kill yourself with it. Hope this helps. Logo

m1k3

Lunarise, if alcohol wasn't a compulsion for you why are you concerned about being able to drink socially in the future?

If your Dr told you you had to give up bagels would you be having the same thought? You know, maybe, someday I can have a bagel.

Sorry, doesn't cut it for me. I have quit and I have quit forever. Makes life so much easier since I don't waste anytime on that scheiss anymore.

Windblown

I'm not powerless over alcohol because I was never dependent on it. I also have had long times of sobriety always broken up by a day that I drank. Maybe I drank for a couple of weeks and got sick of it. Alcohol is not progressive for me and I don't consider it a disease...just my opinion. It's a choice. My drinking is far less now than it ever was. But then I was only an abuser of alcohol...not addicted to it. I'm way more messed up on the Codie alanon side...adult child...all that crazy stuff.

If you went to a bar and there was an attractive alcoholic sitting on one stool and your favorite drink sitting on the next stool...which would you choose?
My answer...the alcoholic.

I didn't plan on marrying three of them either. It is way hard living with an addict but I'm having better days...plus Eastern philosophy such as Taoism and Buddhism and meditation really helps me to let go and allow the world and others to be.

langkah

I see the OP made it to 7 months back in '09. I wonder if she hit that point she mentioned, where she would somehow suddenly be sure she could drink moderately as opposed to the way she always drank.

That would be about 3 years of having one or two successfully without losing control.

Perhaps she'll be kind enough to share someday how that's worked out for her.

soberlicious

She did share on 3/18/12. Unless I misunderstood, Brae is the OP.

Purplecatlover

I know this thread is old & resurrected but it's an interesting one. Cool to see the OP thought she could one day moderate & then 6 months later realized there was no way.

I personally do not think alcoholism is a disease, part of why I shy from AA. At first it seemed soothing to think it wasn't my fault. But in the end, it is. I let alcohol take me down that twisted road. It comes down to personal accountability. I make a million
choices each day.

Addiction will lie to you, cheat, delude your thinking so you keep feeding it.
I believed I couldn't stop & each relapse reinforced that.

Now I know I can stop, stay stopped & addiction is losing its death grip on me. Now it feels like a broken cob web brushing against me.

onlythetruth

Exactly.

The whole point of this thread, I think, was the concept of powerlessness--whether or not it is useful.

For me, no. I spent many a year wanting some magic, "miracle" solution. Turns out, there wasn't one. There was only me, and my irrevocable, permanent decision to quit. I wasn't powerless: I just needed to come to the place where I understood that there was no other option but to quit forever.

GrowingDaily

Theoretically, I think it's possible. Just like time travel. But I haven't met anyone from the past yet.

Realistically... not so much.

I don't think I'm going out on a limb to suggest that all of us have, at one time or another, believed that we could transform ourselves into responsible 'social' drinkers. I have yet to meet one who was successful.

IMO, the desire to try to find a way to drink responsibly is a glaring symptom of the addictive mind. None of us entertain the notion of sobriety without having first suffered greatly. You don't decide to quit something you (think) you love because life is great. So why would you possibly want to work your way back to using a substance that's hurt you?

I mean - if we were discussing anything else besides your addictive drug of choice, would you entertain the same thoughts? If you got mugged & shot walking down a ****-flooded alley in the bad part of town, would you be trying to figure out a way to walk through the alley in safety? Or would it make more sense to just stay out of the filth to begin with?

Now that I've been sober for a while, the question isn't whether I could drink responsibly or not. It's why would I want to? I'm happier now than I ever was when I was drinking - though I didn't realize that at the time. Alcohol truly, in every situation, in any quantity, brought me nothing but sadness. But it took me a while to realize that.

LDT

Here's my 2 cents.....I am not powerless over my CHOICE to drink....I AM powerless once the alcohol enters my system. I really had never planned to quit drinking entirely. I actually tried to do the " moderation management" program which was an epic failure ( and we all know what happened to the founder of that program ). For me, moderation is too labor intensive. I don't want to work that hard at monitoring my alcohol intake.....MUCH easier to just quit completely. So I did. 14 months ago.

Brae

If I had to think that much about how much chocolate I was eating, I would join chocononymous. Just sayin....

Brae

...I am the original poster. As I said in an earlier post, I have no desire to go back to that life. I also know my thinking was the original problem and drinking was a way I tried to control it. Without a doubt once I engage in my addiction/allergy all bets are off and the only thing reliable at that point is the expectation of chaos and pain. Everyone has there own path as this thread shows clearly. Im glad that I listened to the experience of others and didnt try to test out my theory, I dont know if I wouldve make it back. ~Blessings