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Breaking down and going to an AA meeting :(

Old 01-27-2009, 09:47 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Katie, you have a therapist and psychiatrist? I have a social worker for a therapist and a nurse practitioner who prescribes my meds. I've been very happy with that arrangement.

And honestly, I think I'm done with AA too, except for that one atheist & agnostic meeting. You're not alone!
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:16 AM
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Katie, the first time I ever got sober I got a lot out of aa because it was all new to me and it was a relief to meet people with the same problem.

As time went on and my mind cleared I too got sick of hearing the same stuff over and over( and I tried lots of different meetings) it got to the point I was feeling worse when I left than when I arrived.

The point of no return came when I went to my first meeting after my mothers funeral to be told, by someone who was well aware of my atheism, that god never gives you more than you can handle, and by another person that my sobriety was being tested. WTF

I went a few times after that but I realised that I had been fooling myself and the people there who were supposed to be my friends and helping with my sobriety were locked into a formulaic world where every problem could be cured by praying and the only time that mattered in your life was the time that you found aa.

Talk about cross addiction, I didnt want to deal with my addiction to alcohol to end up sitting in aa rooms every night reciting the words of a dead man, with people who whilst sober weren't able to deal with normal day to day life.

I know everyone will say all meetings and alcoholics are different etc but this is my experience and I was going to meeting several times a week for more than two years.

I don't know what it is I need to learn to start living life but I know I wont find it in aa and I hope by remaining sober myself I will be able to work it out.

Sorry if I rambled but Im feeling a bit weird today.
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted by doorknob View Post
Katie, you have a therapist and psychiatrist? I have a social worker for a therapist and a nurse practitioner who prescribes my meds. I've been very happy with that arrangement.

And honestly, I think I'm done with AA too, except for that one atheist & agnostic meeting. You're not alone!
I don't know if I have a psychiatrist anymore, as after coming clean he mentioned termination our relationship. So much for honesty. I do have a therapist.

Thanks for your post.
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted by allport View Post
Katie, the first time I ever got sober I got a lot out of aa because it was all new to me and it was a relief to meet people with the same problem.

As time went on and my mind cleared I too got sick of hearing the same stuff over and over( and I tried lots of different meetings) it got to the point I was feeling worse when I left than when I arrived.

The point of no return came when I went to my first meeting after my mothers funeral to be told, by someone who was well aware of my atheism, that god never gives you more than you can handle, and by another person that my sobriety was being tested. WTF
Oh my goodness. That would have sent me straight out the door, no looking back.

I went a few times after that but I realised that I had been fooling myself and the people there who were supposed to be my friends and helping with my sobriety were locked into a formulaic world where every problem could be cured by praying and the only time that mattered in your life was the time that you found aa.
In my experience, AA friendships are very limited once one leaves the program.


Talk about cross addiction, I didnt want to deal with my addiction to alcohol to end up sitting in aa rooms every night reciting the words of a dead man, with people who whilst sober weren't able to deal with normal day to day life.

I know everyone will say all meetings and alcoholics are different etc but this is my experience and I was going to meeting several times a week for more than two years.

I don't know what it is I need to learn to start living life but I know I wont find it in aa and I hope by remaining sober myself I will be able to work it out.

Sorry if I rambled but Im feeling a bit weird today.
No rambling at all. I agree with you and thank you for your thoughts.
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Katie09 View Post
I don't know if I have a psychiatrist anymore, as after coming clean he mentioned termination our relationship. So much for honesty. I do have a therapist.
How do they differ? Do you really need both? Just curious, I'm not suggesting that you don't.
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by doorknob View Post
How do they differ? Do you really need both? Just curious, I'm not suggesting that you don't.
A psychiatrist prescribes meds. A therapist cannot. What sucks is I've been with him for five years. I don't want another shrink, as in my experience most are strange. I do need both. Drs. these days are only about meds and 15 minute appointments. My therapist and I work on life issues and our sessions last for 55 or so minutes. Both have been great.
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Katie09 View Post
A psychiatrist prescribes meds. A therapist cannot. What sucks is I've been with him for five years. I don't want another shrink, as in my experience most are strange. I do need both. Drs. these days are only about meds and 15 minute appointments. My therapist and I work on life issues and our sessions last for 55 or so minutes. Both have been great.
I know the technical difference. It sounds like you get useful therapy from your psychiatrist, and I never have. If that wasn't the case, I was gonna suggest having a GP or NP prescribe your meds.
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Old 01-27-2009, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted by doorknob View Post
I know the technical difference. It sounds like you get useful therapy from your psychiatrist, and I never have. If that wasn't the case, I was gonna suggest having a GP or NP prescribe your meds.
Thanks, my GP won't. He wants me to see my p-doc. Yes, even though my Dr. doesn't see it that way, I haven't slept around or broken any bones (broke my rib and broke my toe - two different times in a blackout) since I've been with him and he gave me the proper Dx. That to me is progress.
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Old 01-27-2009, 04:44 PM
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I think it's true that first of all aa is not the only way to get sober, and secondly that it doesn't work for everyone.

The impression is given within aa that if you completely surrender yourself to it, it will work. Everyone there testifies to that.

However, the people who it didn't work for aren't in the room are they? So it's a bit misleading imho!

There's a lot of percentages talked about with regards to recovery rate, how aa's is so high compared to other methods.

However, i think that if someone *really* has hit their rock bottom and has had enough, and really truly *wants* to kick it, then they can beat it.

Obviously a lot of people who get to that point do go to aa.

But i'd say that each person has to find their own way. Aa works for some but not for others.

Similar to doorknob with me, the couple of meetings i've found that are easy going and don't push god or steps onto people, i like those, for the group support etc, but i don't feel i'm "in the program".

I'm so glad i'm not alone in that!
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