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Old 01-13-2009, 08:05 AM
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"Newbie"

To Secular Connections that is...

I've been poking around on here for a little while now and just wanted to say hi!

I had a question for everyone about Amends. I know that it's much too early for me to start thinking about making amends to people, though sometimes I don't really think there is anyone I have to go back and apologize for anything that I've done because as my signature reads, the best apology you can make is by doing the right thing.
And honestly, the crap I did to anyone definitely went *both* ways, so it would really feel like a one-way street.

But I was wondering how people who are not involved in twelve step programs go about making amends, if they do?

Thanks,

LD
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Old 01-13-2009, 08:57 AM
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I am secular in that i do not believe in god. However I do do the 12 steps and amends...I've posted some about steps in the secular 12 step thread. Even if you don't do AA, you may find valuable expereince on amends by people who have done them in aa as well as secular peoples expereince.

I absolutely know that most of the areas that I "harmed" other people...they also harmed me...intentionally or unknowingly...

Amends for me it THE trickiest parts of getting well.

I'm at work so I can't post more

One of the amends i need to make is working when at work.

Glad you found us (hug)
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Old 01-13-2009, 10:41 AM
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Welcome to the secular side of recovery LaDita.

Originally Posted by LaDita View Post
the best apology you can make is by doing the right thing.
I'm right along with you in that regard. I tried to make amends with my family and they told me to just stay sober. Today I try to learn from my erroneous ways and admit my faults when I'm in the wrong. As for past wrongs, I see that as negative energy I created. So now I make an extra effort to balance that by creating positive energy.
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Old 01-13-2009, 03:59 PM
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Hello, LaDita!

If something's bothering me and I need to apologize, I clear it up by being honest with whoever it concerns.

I'm lucky that the important people in my life are quick to forgive and love me. Whatever I did is over with...I can only move on.

Welcome to the secular side of SR!
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Old 01-13-2009, 07:25 PM
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I tried to apologize to all those I could remember screwing over but there were only 2 or 3 that I remember...LOL. Can't make amends if you can't remember. doit
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Old 01-14-2009, 02:54 PM
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"the best apology you can make is by doing the right thing."

that is the way that I see it as well. The only person that I have any interest in is my daughter. In her mind she has a great life and has no idea that I have the problem that I do. Alcohol robs her of well deserved affection and for that I am very sorry. I made it a point to not over compensate when I stopped drinking so as not to put her on a roller coaster ride.
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Old 01-14-2009, 03:05 PM
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Thanks fug I will keep this in mind with my kids. Don't want to freak them out.
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