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a.a. scares me

Old 10-16-2007, 12:32 AM
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a.a. scares me

I'm new to this forum and I already like it. I decided to quit drinking today (oct 15). I am 27 and have been drinking since I was 15. I am sick and tired of waking up hung over and confused.
I called a.a. today and the guys that I talked to seemed to be more concerned about pushing their spirituality. That is all I heard. Is this typical?
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Old 10-16-2007, 12:40 AM
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Hi and welcome to SR
Congratulations on your decision!
No, it's not "typical" at all. The phones are manned by volunteers, and each has a different approach.
I suggest you go off to a meeting, sit down, listen for the similarities, and not the differences , and see what you think.

What have you got to lose, except 1 1/2 hours of your time
keep posting and let us know how you are doing

HUGX
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Old 10-16-2007, 02:37 AM
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Welcome Beatnik

There's a list of alternatives to AA in a sticky at the top of the Secular Forum - you'll find it here -

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cular-web.html

If you don't like the AA approach try something else. There's lots around. Just be aware that denial will find all manner of reasons why a method won't work, just so you can carry on drinking. Sounds like you're stuck in a particular way of being. It's likely that however you get out of that way of being will involve some discomfort, some sort of challenge to your status quo.
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Old 10-16-2007, 06:16 AM
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There are some non-religious alternatives to AA. Check out the link above and since I don't pray I'll wish you mega-super-dooper-luck !
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Old 10-16-2007, 06:58 AM
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Originally Posted by beatnik View Post
I am sick and tired of waking up hung over and confused.
That's was a very familiar feeling to me. Sometimes - with almost a year of sobriety behind me - I still wake up amazed that I'm *not* hungover and frantic with anxiety. It is possible to change. It's amazing.

The advice in the other replies is very good. It's a lot easier not to do it alone.

Good luck.
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Old 10-16-2007, 10:29 AM
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Thanks for the great replies. This morning I awoke sober and refreshed. It was a bit strange going to sleep sober since the beer was my sedative. I was up by 6am and went to the gym for my 1.5 mile morning jog that I have been doing before only at 9am and hung over. When I was 24 Isigned up at the gym as a way to quit. Then I realized I could drink all night, go hungover and run thus making me sweat, and then going into the steam room to sweat out all the toxins. I did it for about a year. It made me think I had no hangover but what it made me was a functioning drunk. I will keep you guys posted. I am off to school to prepare for an exam. I used to feel so ashamed to be at school 'cuz of the h/o and everyone else there was sober.
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Old 10-16-2007, 10:39 AM
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Though I am Atheist, I am not down on religious people (only those that impose their religion by gun point or force). The spiritual thing does not bug me too much, but I want answers to my questions without refering to a higher power.
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Old 10-16-2007, 11:04 AM
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Originally Posted by beatnik View Post
Though I am Atheist, I am not down on religious people (only those that impose their religion by gun point or force). The spiritual thing does not bug me too much, but I want answers to my questions without refering to a higher power.
Beat, I am the same way. I was not comfortable with religion in my recovery (although I am religious in my regular life). I preferred a recovery model that fit with my scientific side of mind. I found help in SmartRecovery. http://www.smartrecovery.org
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Old 10-17-2007, 10:30 AM
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I’m not too keen on the higher power or quasi-religious nature of AA myself but, even with my minimal and sporadic attendance at AA I have made friends there. Good caring people that I can socialize with at Alano Club functions. For me, It helps significantly to have sober friends.
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Old 10-17-2007, 03:47 PM
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No it is not typical, but if you are put off by discussions about Spiritual matters then perhaps AA is not for you.

whatever you choose as a programme of recovery , Good Luck to you.
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Old 11-10-2007, 10:43 PM
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Originally Posted by beatnik View Post
I'm new to this forum and I already like it. I decided to quit drinking today (oct 15). I am 27 and have been drinking since I was 15. I am sick and tired of waking up hung over and confused.
I called a.a. today and the guys that I talked to seemed to be more concerned about pushing their spirituality. That is all I heard. Is this typical?
Have you gone to a meeting? Try going to a few... it won't kill you.

When I got sober, I didn't call anyone and talk to somebody in an office... I got in my car and drove to a meeting. I sat in the back, watched, listened. Eventually I met people, shook hands, went for coffee... I enjoyed it. Just like in the real world, I associated with people there with whom I identified or looked up to. I don't let people proselytyse to me IRL and I never have had a big problem with it in A.A. either. I've known plenty of what are functionally atheists who have done quite well in A.A.

Whatever route you decide to go, you need to do it and experience it in real life, not over-analyze it on the internet. On the internet, unless you're talking about strict atheism, EVERTHING can be painted to be a cult or "too religous" or too this or too that.

Beware of "contempt prior to investigation," as you might dismiss something that you actually may like or actually may work for you or actually may not be really all that religous, or may be something you actually need.

Good luck! dshake
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Old 11-11-2007, 02:44 AM
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Mate - you've got plenty of options out there. Start with your docter. Let me tell you this, if there is a will there is a way, in my experience. Maybe use AA for what you feel you need it for - group support, new friends, warmth, etc. But equally if you find it really is not for you then there are plenty of other options. Or go for them other options first. Just been willing to change and learn new ways to live and stop the pain and bullsht and misery of alcoholism. Hope that helped.
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