S.C. Check-in
By the way...everytime I sit in front of the computer, I feel like I'm in a safe zone. I know that's probably bad, but that's the way it is. I feel much calmer now than I did three hours ago.

Member
Bam...I love comeing here cause I feel like I am more me here than anywhere. talking here sorta gives me the courage to be when I go out in the f2f world.
What is normal....who knows....I am on antidepresants now and It seems to make a difference.
As I read and post at SR and for me I attend AA...I find out that it isn't for me a matter of normal or not normal...we all just have differnt problems and I just feel less alone with it.
Your right..good help with this stuff is hard to find. I am more able to find a way to cope with life when I am not drinking or useing drugs to self medicate. Some things change and some don't change so much. I have to believe that there are many people in history who had many problems like depression, OCD, Anxiety and all that stuff and no medication, but found ways to deal with it and have good lifes. I think some of them were great poets, leaders of nations and stuff like that .... really I do....
If that sounded like anti-med stuff beleive me thats not what i'm trying to say...I'm just saying I beleive we can find peace and contentment for large amounts of our life even if our society is not helping with these medical issues as they should.
please hang in there and keep coming and checking in and pming and all that stuff! I care about both of you!!!!!:ghug
What is normal....who knows....I am on antidepresants now and It seems to make a difference.
As I read and post at SR and for me I attend AA...I find out that it isn't for me a matter of normal or not normal...we all just have differnt problems and I just feel less alone with it.
Your right..good help with this stuff is hard to find. I am more able to find a way to cope with life when I am not drinking or useing drugs to self medicate. Some things change and some don't change so much. I have to believe that there are many people in history who had many problems like depression, OCD, Anxiety and all that stuff and no medication, but found ways to deal with it and have good lifes. I think some of them were great poets, leaders of nations and stuff like that .... really I do....
If that sounded like anti-med stuff beleive me thats not what i'm trying to say...I'm just saying I beleive we can find peace and contentment for large amounts of our life even if our society is not helping with these medical issues as they should.
please hang in there and keep coming and checking in and pming and all that stuff! I care about both of you!!!!!:ghug

I have to believe that there are many people in history who had many problems like depression, OCD, Anxiety and all that stuff and no medication, but found ways to deal with it and have good lifes. I think some of them were great poets, leaders of nations and stuff like that .... really I do....
If that sounded like anti-med stuff beleive me thats not what i'm trying to say...I'm just saying I beleive we can find peace and contentment for large amounts of our life even if our society is not helping with these medical issues as they should.
If that sounded like anti-med stuff beleive me thats not what i'm trying to say...I'm just saying I beleive we can find peace and contentment for large amounts of our life even if our society is not helping with these medical issues as they should.
Thank you so much for this.

Everyday I feel like I'm gaining more insight to my mental workings...dusty cogs are turning...I'm not one of those purposful life people, but I do feel like I'm trying to figure out how I can best fit into this crazy world. Here's to not giving up. Have a good night ananda, DK, and everyone else.





post from Ananda's son in Bottoms thread, y'all
D
Hey, This Ananda's son. She just wanted me to post a lil something to let everyone know that everything went well. It went faster then excpected and by afternoon she was up, moving around, doing things on her own. She's staying the night at Med. Center but expect she'll be coming home sometime tomorrow as expected.

Hello everyone and welcome back ananda!
For once, I'm having a super-excellent day today. I know it won't last, but it gives me hope to keep moving forward.
I got into contact with an old friend last night and another one today! It's amazing how reaching out a little can help so much sometimes--I really needed to talk to these two people.
I'm working on putting my fear baggage aside and moving on with my life. I'm so glad I'm quitting my job. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm going to do all I can to make it good. Try to take it easy, everyone.
For once, I'm having a super-excellent day today. I know it won't last, but it gives me hope to keep moving forward.
I got into contact with an old friend last night and another one today! It's amazing how reaching out a little can help so much sometimes--I really needed to talk to these two people.
I'm working on putting my fear baggage aside and moving on with my life. I'm so glad I'm quitting my job. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm going to do all I can to make it good. Try to take it easy, everyone.

Hi everyone. Just back from the abyss. I went down into that deep dark place that we all got to when our minds get the better of us.
I'm doing much better, but I got really scared because I just really didn't want to live anymore.
But I did what you did Bam, and I reached out to one of my trusted friends in recovery and the climb up and out began.
Hope you are all doing well and I missed you.
I'm doing much better, but I got really scared because I just really didn't want to live anymore.
But I did what you did Bam, and I reached out to one of my trusted friends in recovery and the climb up and out began.
Hope you are all doing well and I missed you.

I came to this site today with the idea of reading, maybe writing, about what's going on in my head. Finding this forum, and this thread right at the top, it seems I (intuitively?) knew where I was going, for I came to the right place.
How remarkable to find another in so nearly exactly the same situation as I. Trying desperately to remain on a straight path, bypassing (for the most part) the pot (etc.), and switching over to alcohol for that escape the drug of choice gave. Always and only using alone, because what I'm doing is nothing about being social, no, it is solely about escape. Escape...from what? I know I can't escape myself. Suppose it's an attempt to escape the present situation, the present emotion, the present conflict. But it's always only temporary relief, if it's even relief. It's not like I can really enjoy the drug, whatever it is. 40 years into life I'd think I could stand up and face life. Instead I hide. I see I'm in good company here, as this seems a persistant problem among us all.
How remarkable to find another in so nearly exactly the same situation as I. Trying desperately to remain on a straight path, bypassing (for the most part) the pot (etc.), and switching over to alcohol for that escape the drug of choice gave. Always and only using alone, because what I'm doing is nothing about being social, no, it is solely about escape. Escape...from what? I know I can't escape myself. Suppose it's an attempt to escape the present situation, the present emotion, the present conflict. But it's always only temporary relief, if it's even relief. It's not like I can really enjoy the drug, whatever it is. 40 years into life I'd think I could stand up and face life. Instead I hide. I see I'm in good company here, as this seems a persistant problem among us all.

Member
Sorry to hear of so many struggling. Fall....maybe some other things could be how you "escape" We have to face our lives,but we do need breaks too. Sometimes going to a quiet outdoors place can help. And I do the bath thing too....even taking a nap can be a way to set aside my mind for a while.
ZD....I was worried cause I hadn't seen you in a while. I've been a little too wrapped up in myself or I would have pmed you sooner.:ghug3
Have you ever read anything on John of the Cross...Dark night of the soul? Sometimes spiritual connectedness is preceeded by a period of feeling lost and disoreintated.
Love you all and I am having to take some pain meds due to my surgery...but not near as much as I was afraid of. Mom's taking care of me till Friday...I'll be on and off all next weeek as well as I am on vacation, but have to rest alot right now.
Take care!
ZD....I was worried cause I hadn't seen you in a while. I've been a little too wrapped up in myself or I would have pmed you sooner.:ghug3
Have you ever read anything on John of the Cross...Dark night of the soul? Sometimes spiritual connectedness is preceeded by a period of feeling lost and disoreintated.
Love you all and I am having to take some pain meds due to my surgery...but not near as much as I was afraid of. Mom's taking care of me till Friday...I'll be on and off all next weeek as well as I am on vacation, but have to rest alot right now.
Take care!

Ananda, Your contributions to this thread are beautiful, thoughtful, thank you for considering. Ah, what is so unfortunate is in so many ways I love my life, spending great amounts of time outdoors, in places I so love! It's just some specifics I cannot seem to figure out that trip me up so.
You take good care of yourself. I look forward to getting to know others here as well. Tyler...Doorknob...Zencat...Windysan...Bam...Dee74 ...et al. Fascinating, connecting thread here...thank you.
You take good care of yourself. I look forward to getting to know others here as well. Tyler...Doorknob...Zencat...Windysan...Bam...Dee74 ...et al. Fascinating, connecting thread here...thank you.

Sadly, no. I wish I knew how to make one with motion. How are you doing? 
Hello ananda! :ghug3
Hello, Doorknob! Where you at?
SelfSeeking, do you still visit the Secular forum?
How about Stone?
Zencat?
Am I forgetting anyone?
How are you all doing?

Hello ananda! :ghug3
Hello, Doorknob! Where you at?
SelfSeeking, do you still visit the Secular forum?
How about Stone?
Zencat?
Am I forgetting anyone?
How are you all doing?

LOL!!! You are funny ananda.
I'm doing better Bam. Hit a rough patch. It mostly has to do with my thinking. My mind can get me into all sorts of trouble. That's why I sit in meditation regularly. Hopefully, to gain some insight, but at minimum...just to allow the mind to settle. Gosh! I cannot imagine what I would be like if I didn't meditate!!! DISASTER AREA!!!
Yeah, shout out from all of the above would be nice!
I'm doing better Bam. Hit a rough patch. It mostly has to do with my thinking. My mind can get me into all sorts of trouble. That's why I sit in meditation regularly. Hopefully, to gain some insight, but at minimum...just to allow the mind to settle. Gosh! I cannot imagine what I would be like if I didn't meditate!!! DISASTER AREA!!!
Yeah, shout out from all of the above would be nice!


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