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Old 10-05-2008, 09:42 AM
  # 241 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SelfSeeking View Post
Aw, Bam. Don't go on the alcoholic diet. You are in no way helping your body by trading out food calories for alcohol calories.

I know that...but the food will kill me too. I cannot stop. I'm stuck. This is a huge (pardon the pun) problem in more ways than one.
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Old 10-05-2008, 09:53 AM
  # 242 (permalink)  
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What is this site for if not to give people a place to problem-solve with others with similar problems?! Post away!

Have you thought about applying for disability? I'll be honest, I don't know how that's done. But you need medical care, you are unable to work due to medical problems... might you be a candidate? I hate that payment for medical care is for the most part expected to be an employment benefit. It's disgusting. But that's a rant and I'm trying not to do that today, it distracts my energy that I need to be productive.
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Old 10-05-2008, 10:24 AM
  # 243 (permalink)  
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Hey, all...I think I'm going to take a little break for now...so do not worry if you don't hear from me for a little while. I need some more time to think (something that takes me awhile to do...I'm slow). I'll talk to you all later.
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Old 10-05-2008, 03:57 PM
  # 244 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by zencat View Post
I don't mind either. It sounds like to me that your practicing harm reduction. That's a valid recover approach in my book. Now that I think about it, ambiguity or self-medication is okay with me too. Anything past denial is a start to recovery. I mean, when someone is past one of the biggest symptoms of active addiction (denial and deceit) they have opened themselves up to the possibility of recovery as a desirable state of being.
I don't believe that there is zero control after one drink, atleast not for everyone. I'm not saying I've never lost control, but it's much more likely to happen if you believe it is inevitable. I do know that the more I drink the more likely I am to keep drinking. Actually, I haven't drank yesterday or today so far, and not because I've pressured myself not to. By the time I thought about having a beer yesterday, it was passed 10 and all the stores were closed (on a saturday night, lol).

Anyhoo, I glad your staying around.
Thanks, Zen & Everyone!
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Old 10-05-2008, 04:02 PM
  # 245 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SelfSeeking View Post
DK, luckily for you, I am in a most expansive mood and am granting you permission to continue to post on this site, despite your eggregious failure to toe the line of any particular recovery program. My natural inclination to deny you said permission was ameliorated by the humble attitude you displayed in your request.
Well, hey... you're just lucky I was in a good mood when I read this!
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Old 10-05-2008, 04:14 PM
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Originally Posted by zendust View Post
Humans try to hard to attribute the good/bad of life to "something". Stuff happens, that's all.[/I]
Word!
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Old 10-05-2008, 04:23 PM
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(((Bam)))

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Old 10-05-2008, 04:28 PM
  # 248 (permalink)  
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hi DK

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Old 10-05-2008, 04:35 PM
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Hi, Ananda!

Last edited by doorknob; 10-05-2008 at 04:55 PM.
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Old 10-05-2008, 04:50 PM
  # 250 (permalink)  
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cute DK...is it yours? My pups are gently requesting that we go out and enjoy the fall weather....I'll be back..................8
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Old 10-05-2008, 04:56 PM
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Yeah, that's our kitty.
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Old 10-05-2008, 05:04 PM
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S/he is wretchedly adorable! I miss having a cat around. I accidentally killed my "pet" spider today. She lived in my window for the last 4 weeks, and spun a really cool web. We coexisted. She never tried to come inside and I appreciated that. I shut the window today and she fell off her little perch.

Did I cry? Yes I did. *sigh* This is what it's come to...
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Old 10-05-2008, 05:43 PM
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She's lucky she's cute.. cuz she's a royal pain in da ass! Especially now, since she's a strictly indoor kitty.

How do you know your spider is dead?
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Old 10-05-2008, 06:38 PM
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Cause she fell two floors.
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Old 10-05-2008, 09:36 PM
  # 255 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by DK
I don't believe that there is zero control after one drink, atleast not for everyone. I'm not saying I've never lost control, but it's much more likely to happen if you believe it is inevitable. I do know that the more I drink the more likely I am to keep drinking. Actually, I haven't drank yesterday or today so far, and not because I've pressured myself not to. By the time I thought about having a beer yesterday, it was passed 10 and all the stores were closed (on a saturday night, lol).
I follow what your saying. I believe many people in recovery have different relationships with alcohol. True, many of us share a host of commonalities but not all. Many, many times I have been able to regulate a good buzz for an entire day without getting out there in the ozone. I'm not about telling folks that there is only one way people use alcohol or am I saying I know whats right for you.

Originally Posted by Bam
I'm okay, though. I've been doing a lot of thinking. I know I have a problem, that's for sure...but I've been putting unrealistic expectations on myself. Basically, I'm psyching myself out and stressing out way too much. The pressure I put on myself to stay sober no matter what is unreasonable right now...it's not helping me.
I understand. I was at a point of my recovery where I would stay sober for a few days then drink for a night. It was where I was at in my recovery efforts. It was what it was and at the same time I was aware of my efforts in recovery. I wanted recovery, so I decided to use harm reduction for a wile. Only you can decide whats right for you and I support whatever efforts you choose in recovery.

For me, the whole point of addiction treatment is to remain in treatment. To discover and practice ways of living that do not cause harm to me or others around me. This is going to take time and practice. I may have all sorts of levels of effectiveness with my sobriety. I can expect there will be times when I struggle and that's okay. The point is to keep trying new ways, develop new skills and gain new insight in to my recovery efforts. So here I am today, together with all of you, trudging the happy or not so happy road of recovery. We can have better health.
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Old 10-05-2008, 09:40 PM
  # 256 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by doorknob View Post
Awww...cute kitty.
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Old 10-05-2008, 09:51 PM
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im tired. emotionally. still sober, but the thought of using has been on my mind all day. i tried calling my sponsor a few times, but he hasnt been answering his phone. i dont have anyone else i feel comfortable calling besides a friend outside the program but he isnt picking up his phone either. i cant get to a meeting because i dont have a ride and there are none at this time where i live. i've tried writing, chilling with a few friends (who arent in recovery, they just dont use), even going to church to get my mind out of the place its been in all day. i guess i couldve made a meeting earlier, but i didnt. no excuse, just didnt go. im regretting it now tho. everything is f*cking up. my family is doing nothing but fighting with each other and they seem to be looking for any excuse to find fault with me and point it out (believe me, its not hard to find something to scream at me about). i have other things im trying not to worry about (debts, possibly losing my job this week, and a million other things) but its hard not to worry. i feel like i have no one right now. i want desperately to talk with someone but no one is picking up their phone and i cant talk to my family because they're not the best people to talk to at this point. im hurting and i dont know what to do about it. i know drugs are not an option, but this "one day at a time" thing is getting harder and harder. im afraid that im gonna give up and make sh*t worse.
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Old 10-05-2008, 10:53 PM
  # 258 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by doorknob View Post
How do you know your spider is dead?
My spider is back in her spot! She must have pulled some magical spidey powers out and hung on somewhere! I love her! She is unstoppable!

Just goes to show how much I know...
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Old 10-05-2008, 10:54 PM
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((Mike)) I'm sorry you're in a tough spot. Do you have any other AA numbers to call? Even if they're not your first choice, odds are they're going to understand what you're going through.
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Old 10-06-2008, 11:32 PM
  # 260 (permalink)  
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Hey Mike,

Keep posting, especially when you're hitting the skids. Let us know how you are.

Very cute kittie, DK.

I have three and they're HAIRLESS. If someone can tell me how to post a picture I'll give you a show. Damn, I love my non-fur balls.

Here's to sobriety everyone, however we maintain it!
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