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Old 09-29-2008, 10:37 AM
  # 181 (permalink)  
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"Need TP for my bunghole..."

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Old 09-29-2008, 01:54 PM
  # 182 (permalink)  
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I'm getting a bad case of the f-kit's...
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Old 09-29-2008, 01:58 PM
  # 183 (permalink)  
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Fight off the f!k-its bam... keep a-postin. What's going on?
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Old 09-29-2008, 02:01 PM
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These last two weeks...bad mood swings...I'm at about 63 days sober right now...This is by far the worst I've felt since I've quit (this time around)...I feel.......very unsettled....I've been gorging myself at times with food to avoid drinking...
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Old 09-29-2008, 05:43 PM
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couple of things to share that sorta contridict each other but I'll just throw them out there....

If you are eating sugary sweets...that would maybe create worse mood swings cause of the blood sugar swings????? might think about what you choose to eat

I've come to actually use my "mood swings" as an inspiration when I start to feel the fk its....My feelings change very often...don't stay the same very wrong so I try to remember that how ever I feel it will change pretty quickly...

For me the fk it space is the most dangerous place I can be...so be sure to post and if you can pm or make phone calls and really talk about how you are feeling right now and get it out....I should be around all nite if you wanna private chat at some point too....that really helped me when I had a rough nite a while back.

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Old 09-29-2008, 06:48 PM
  # 186 (permalink)  
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My diet went to crap a couple of weeks ago because my mood started to change...that's when I started getting a strong urge to shove food in my face because I knew I couldn't drink. I'm using junk food as a substitute for alcohol right now. I know that's bad, but I don't know what to do.

I know I'm not going out of my mind....I want to say I feel like I'm going out of my mind....but that's not quite right either. I hate this. I just want my brain to cause me to feel okay. I don't have to be happy now. I'll settle for just okay. I can't stop obsessing about things that cause me anxiety and exacerbate my depression. Alcohol always switched it off....if only temporarily.

You know, I was cruising along...I'd have a bad day or two or three in a row at times...no big deal. This time is different. That hopeless feeling is coming back and I don't like it.

Folks, I'm sorry I'm complaining so much...I just don't know what to do. At this point I'm crossing my fingers and hoping it improves enough that I can handle it and move on with my life. There are important things I need to do. That might be one reason I'm stressing out so much...............ugh................

Everyone try to take it easy.
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Old 09-29-2008, 06:59 PM
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I'm glad you are talking about this Bam.

I don't seem to be able to control where my head/thinking goes sometimes. Its a scary place to be and of course not haveing control is something that really drives me nuts.

I sometimes find that I get myself on track with an activity and suddenly my mind is spinning off in a direction that just adds to my stress and emotionalness...so i refocus and then it happens again...but I just keep on doing the best I can with it.

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Old 09-30-2008, 10:43 AM
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depressed
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Old 09-30-2008, 01:07 PM
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ananda...get well soon! :ghug2

Hello everyone....this post is me checking in. Peace.
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Old 09-30-2008, 03:42 PM
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I keep trying to rationalize it in my mind:

...it's only for one night...I can do it and it won't be a big deal...come on, Bam...lots of people have many starts and stops...what's one more to you?...you care but you don't...maybe this will stop the loop of obsessive thoughts going on right now...you can stop the skipping for one night and escape...you probably won't do much more damage to your organs (*wince*)...hey, maybe it will make recovery easier next time...escapism is bliss...and you need to escape...but I don't want to fail...and I'm tired of the pressure of staying sober...why is this such a tall order?...I'm torn...I just want my brain to stop being stupid...
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Old 09-30-2008, 03:45 PM
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Originally Posted by ananda View Post
I sometimes find that I get myself on track with an activity and suddenly my mind is spinning off in a direction that just adds to my stress and emotionalness...so i refocus and then it happens again...

This is happening to me right now.
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Old 09-30-2008, 03:49 PM
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Hey Bamboozle...that damn voice...annoying ain't it? It can be so creative...truly ingenious at times....the start over again excuse...I have heard it in my head a million times....I promise you, stay sober it gets quieter.
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Old 09-30-2008, 03:53 PM
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I'm trying...I can't do this for many more days in a row...I need a break...
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:00 PM
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Bam listen, I know how hard this is but if you are past any physical detox, which I believe you are, you can do this, you are doing it right now.

You think drinking will relieve your discomfort? Think about the morning...think about the pounding head, the cotton mouth, the pure hell you will be in when you berate yourself for being weak and miserable again.

You are stronger than the voice....it has no hands and you must do its bidding to get the job done. Shut it down...no negotiation.
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:15 PM
  # 195 (permalink)  
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I've been trying to shut it down for about 5 nights? in a row...it started building a couple of weeks ago...everything I'm trying is not working....it's different this time...I'm at about 65 days right now...not very long, but the longest I've made it. I need to get help from a professional as soon as I can afford it.
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:21 PM
  # 196 (permalink)  
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Do what it takes...and 65 days is great! What is different this time? One drink...I mean one...unleashes the beast....your body, your mind and your soul is repairing...let it continue....I work in a Physical Therapy dept....in order to help patients many times we must do things which cause them discomfort, but it is vital for their recovery...this is no different!
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:31 PM
  # 197 (permalink)  
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I drank to self-medicate...I have issues that must be addressed or I'll never beat this thing. I know in my heart of hearts that merely abstaining and quitting a negative job and getting back to my art and changing my routine is not enough. There. I've admitted it on SR.

I've gained about 5 pounds in the last month because I've been shoving my face full of food because I keep telling myself I cannot drink. My physical health is going to crap again. I need help. I don't feel like my mind is repairing...I feel like I did before when I was living alone...I can't do this anymore.
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:36 PM
  # 198 (permalink)  
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I can't say at 2 months sober I felt too much different, but it did change. Have you tried a f2f support group? What is it you think you are missing in your recovery?
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:40 PM
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A normal mind...I probably need meds and therapy.
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:40 PM
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Alcohol seems like it's the problem...the actual problem is my mind...
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