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Recovery addict?

Old 08-26-2006, 12:41 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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My opinion is that recovery IS addictive.....I saw my friend do her 90 meetings in 90 days...thats almost as unrealistic OTT using.....Her life is NA now...all her mates are NA...shes there everynight.Boyfriend is long gone.....Kids never see mom...She has the 'thousand yard smile, the glazed eyes (not Kidding)and she is like a doll where you pull the string in the back of her neck and she says 'keep it simple stupid' or 'let go and let God'.....she has NO other topic of conversation....she is scary.Ive been to enough meetings(6 or7)to know it was just another crutch, damaging in its own ways.AA, NA, SMART RR all havea15%sucess rate.unimpressive huh?There is unbelilivable bitching an politics going on too.
The biggest success rate is for those who go it alone, contrary to pop belief. (if this stat pains you,Check it out thru the web.)Some people really hate to hear that,Dont know why, unless its a case of 'my dogs better than your dog' arent humans stoopid sometimes?

I think studying 12 step groups would make for a great anthropological phd! bet someones done it...would be facinating reading huh?
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Old 08-26-2006, 01:36 AM
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I've been struggling just recently with this. Something is causing me to feel that I NEED something to lean on in order to conquer my problem with alcohol addiction. I've read thousands of pages of stuff online in the last 8 months and I've gone to meetings and started working the steps of AA. I HAVE become addicted to recovery.

Maybe there is some merit to immersing myself in these early days since the knowledge of alcohol, program options, and uncovering my personal feelings is necessary in order to really get anywhere, but I feel like it's becoming overwhelming. Now I'm even questioning going to meetings since I feel like that's the next thing that could become addicting. I see the pattern of feeling edging and immediately saying, "I need a meeting". I stepped back one day and realized I've just replace, "I need a drink". What I really need is to figure out a way to not NEED something.

Do you believe once an addict always an addict? We just need to replace the bad addiction with a good addiction. Or can we somehow change that whole chemical/behavioral reaction that stirs up that powerful NEED of something? I suppose after another thousand pages I'll figure that out too. In the mean time, I'm addicted to typing here at SR.
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Old 08-26-2006, 04:46 AM
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Not too long ago I'd have taken "The biggest success rate is for those who go it alone," WAY out of context and ran with it, right back into aloneness. But being alone, and going it alone are very different things.

Being alone inside one's own head allows for distortion and manipulation of perception and reality. In those isolated, unchecked confines, without external input, an addict puts himself at a terribly narrow disadvantage; but of course with convinction that they can do it alone, being alone seems the safest option. Nothing is threatened that way. And so, nothing changes.

Going it alone requires extention of oneself, exposure of oneself, to outside perspective. It's critical to both allow outside input in, and express/ exorcize inside thinking out. How one goes about that, and knowing what is the end goal, determines how one can or will progress. I think recognizing what that is takes a LOT of "mindfulness". It takes a lot of internal work. Sometimes I think people need the crutch of recovery programs to get themselves started on defining what their ultimate goal is, and learn methods to go about achieving that. I also know that just "belonging" is oftentimes what people so desperately seek and is a primary reason behind why people use alcohol/ drugs. If that is the unfulfilled need and they find it in AA/ NA or organized religion or whatever (non-using) group they choose to belong to, they're free to so choose and immerse. Not what I'm after, but if they're happy in that, so be it.

It baffles me too, Clancy, why one would choose belonging to a program/ religion, as it does seem somewhat exclusive. Some would call it "only changing drugs". But, well, examine your motives. See what it is you are after. Know your own mind. And in that, one can find happiness, without drugs, without a program or religion or any group involvement adherence. If information and recovery so to reclaim one's mind and life is what one seeks, they can find it through individual pursuits. Or so all evidence I've seen suggests. I'm going on faith that this is possible and true...
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Old 08-26-2006, 04:56 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by c'est la vie
Do you believe once an addict always an addict? We just need to replace the bad addiction with a good addiction. Or can we somehow change that whole chemical/behavioral reaction that stirs up that powerful NEED of something? I suppose after another thousand pages I'll figure that out too. In the mean time, I'm addicted to typing here at SR.
Can't change the person. Can change the self-awareness. Adjusting your behaviors/ thoughts/ actions/ reactions that make up who you are to work for you instead of against you. Distinguish "needs" from "wants". Desires, attachments, and perceived needs burden us. We don't have to maintain them. They can be dropped, and we can be free of them.

Your mention of "another thousand pages" calls to mind a song verse, that is about getting to know another person, but I think it also applies to recovery:

"If you want me you know where I am
Found in a thousand questions
But, part of the deal,
Is, for you to feel...something..."
--Belle and Sebastian
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Old 08-26-2006, 01:41 PM
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I think as addictive personalities we can easily merge from one addiction to another. I have seen this in myself in certain foods and shopping. However, I can not say where recovery has become addictive to me. I am still somewhat of a rebel. I have seen it in others though. I could not get into that constant babble at first. I kept saying cant we talk about something else besides being an alcoholic/addict. On the other hand, I think it is important to immerse ourselves in a new way of life with some recovery skills or program. To break the cycle so to speak. I went to meetings because I felt it necessary for survival. Not everyone gets to that point I understand that and its cool.

I'm not a big fan of 90 meetings in 90 days. I did not subscribe to that theory. That is a treatment center theory, not AA. I do still attend meetings, but I never say to myself I need a meeting nor do I really look forward to them. I'm being honest here, I go because, again, I feel I need that safety net still. I don't go as ofter, but I have established some recovery tools and feel sturdier than I was first starting out in recovery.

All in all my personal opinion is being addicted to recovery is much better than be addicted to drugs or alcohol, of course for obvious reasons. I think in time you learn to find balance. I don't think overdoing anything is healthy behavior. Balance...
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Old 08-26-2006, 02:41 PM
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All in all my personal opinion is being addicted to recovery is much better than be addicted to drugs or alcohol, of course for obvious reasons. I think in time you learn to find balance. I don't think overdoing anything is healthy behavior. Balance...
I go and read the Friends and Family stuff sometimes. I look at my wife's face when I say "I need a meeting tonight". The fact that I "need" this forum, or "need" the felowship is small beer in comparison to the potential alternatives.

I still do whatever it takes to stay sober. The alternative is not pretty.
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Old 08-26-2006, 03:17 PM
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I'm not sure of a few things. This is the first time being two years sober. I think recovery must come in stages. I feel as if I'm must be in an unfamiliar stage.

Is it normal to drift away from a program after a while? I see myself drifting away. I can't see myself attending meetings 10 years done the road. I may be eating my words later. I just don't know. There will be those hard core AA'ers who will tell me I am heading down a dangerous path. I think it will be okay though. Have I established a strong enough foundation where I can venture out on my own with still practicing the general steps and principles of AA. If I want to be honest with myself, that last sentence is a pretty much a contradiction in itself.

Of course, my sobriety comes first. If I feel myself heading into trouble I know where to find meetings. Right now, I feel as if it isn't the meetings that are keeping me sober, but my desire to stay sober. I also feel my time spent here reconfirms my vulnerability to alcohol. That is not in question. I may be fooling myself. I know that is how alcoholism plays with our minds.

I don't play with ideas of drinking in my head. I know that is not the answer. So do I continue to go to meetings? That is the question I ask myself. I go at this time because I made a commitment, not because I desire to. I will say that once I get there, most times, I leave feeling uplifted and a feeling of unity. I am pretty much uncertain with where I am heading with AA.

Anyone else experience this after a couple years?
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Old 08-26-2006, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by 2dayzmuse
I'm not sure of a few things. This is the first time being two years sober. I think recovery must come in stages. I feel as if I'm must be in an unfamiliar stage.

Is it normal to drift away from a program after a while? I see myself drifting away. I can't see myself attending meetings 10 years done the road. I may be eating my words later. I just don't know. There will be those hard core AA'ers who will tell me I am heading down a dangerous path. I think it will be okay though. Have I established a strong enough foundation where I can venture out on my own with still practicing the general steps and principles of AA. If I want to be honest with myself, that last sentence is a pretty much a contradiction in itself.

Of course, my sobriety comes first. If I feel myself heading into trouble I know where to find meetings. Right now, I feel as if it isn't the meetings that are keeping me sober, but my desire to stay sober. I also feel my time spent here reconfirms my vulnerability to alcohol. That is not in question. I may be fooling myself. I know that is how alcoholism plays with our minds.

I don't play with ideas of drinking in my head. I know that is not the answer. So do I continue to go to meetings? That is the question I ask myself. I go at this time because I made a commitment, not because I desire to. I will say that once I get there, most times, I leave feeling uplifted and a feeling of unity. I am pretty much uncertain with where I am heading with AA.

Anyone else experience this after a couple years?
I don't know if this will help but at first I used to really worry because D didn't use any kind of regular support after initial counselling. One of a few things I did that reassured me was to ring an alcohol helpline and see what they said. As far as the peeps on the phone there were concerned it was about the nuts and bolts of life - like being interested in work, a good relationship, hobbies etc. D's in month 10 now and in that time hasn't had any formal support (he did have counselling in the months before). I like the way things are here they feel healthy, life is good and seems to go from strength to strength - I don't worry at all about him not using any recovery stuff anymore, especially while his life fully sober is teacching him so much he's keen to share and celebrate.

I know it's a second hand experience, but I reckon you know me well enough to weigh up for yourself whether it matches what I say or was saying 10 months ago or not.
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Old 08-26-2006, 03:41 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Thanks Equus, I appreciate your insight and sharing of your experience.

It is through reading many others experiences that has guided me through different stages of my recovery. I have to go with my feelings and my heart. They tell me I feel strong and confident in my will and desire to stay sober. If I start to feel otherwise, I know the path back.

The many stories of recovery of those using an alternative program have opened my mind to other possibilities. That solely alone has not brought me to question a life time of AA. Through that and my own understanding leads me to my ponderings today. I'm still uncertain, but am dipping my toe into another pond. I'm not ready to dive in full boar, but testing the waters.

I don't want to act foolishly and haphazardly jeopardizing my sobriety. Not everyone is wrong, nor is everyone right. There is some middle ground somewhere in between. Time will tell...
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Old 08-26-2006, 03:49 PM
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Can I lay a bet that you make the right decision for you??

I dunno about you but when I give the kind of care you show here to a decision mostly I make a good one!!
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Old 08-26-2006, 03:58 PM
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I hope so. It feels right. I must say that AA did get me sober and taught me much. I would recommend it to anyone who is seeking help. I will not close the door on it.

SR has helped me tremendously. It has been a very important and helpful part of my recovery. I can not see myself ever losing touch with others here.
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Old 08-26-2006, 04:23 PM
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You'll do what your inner voice tells you is safe and healthy for you, on a day to day basis. Just remember - that inner voice has no agenda amd no axe to grind!
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Old 08-26-2006, 06:48 PM
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Sometimes I think we stay at places until we find the need to move forward, or until the questions we were unconsiously asking are answered.

I need to be more constructive with my time too. If I stay here typing and reading the day is gone and where does that take me or what does that do for me?

It helps me get to the point where I can leave this site for longer periods at a time. It helps me find my answers and share with other people. There just needs to be an egg timer or something on it!!!

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Old 08-27-2006, 09:53 AM
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Hey 2 day - I will come back for this one very quickly, as I like you, and have read this thread. I dont need to do anything to stay sober, because I dont want to drink (my beliefs and values have changed sufficiently to end my addiction).

Its as simple as that. I used to believe that I had to do things to stay sober. Not so.

No one knows your motives like yourself?

I found leaving AA very, very difficult - so I used many of the alternatives for extra support (especially CBT); and now I have, at last, a bit of self belief and stability in my life. I have never been as happy, or 'sane' in my life. I have choices.

Good luck, 5
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Old 08-27-2006, 10:36 AM
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and going nowhere fast.
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Nicely done, Five. Stopping in for a quick visit every week or so might be nice though.

Best of luck,
Scott
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Old 08-30-2006, 08:45 AM
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It is quite possible for folks to become "addicted" to recovery.
Social isolation may be an issue.
There may be thoughts that peoplenot not in recovery "don't get it." That may be an issue.
It may be an issue that one may not wish to let go people that they are used to.

I think that one has to decide if "recovery" has become a roadblock; instead of a pathway.

I would think that the goal is to become whole again.
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Old 09-02-2006, 12:55 PM
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I am trying to send you a pm....! It says you have chosen not to receive pm's.

rubbish.
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