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Old 11-24-2017, 10:49 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Nov 2017
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Stuck at the crossroads

Well i've been with my boyfriend or whatever you want to call it due to everything that has happened between us, for almost three years. I had no idea who I was inviting into my life. He was a great guy at first and a gentlemen.

But i knew he liked to party and drink alot. In the beginning, he used to do some pills here and there. Then behind my back he starting picking up coke. Then it was crack at one point. I've never been around drugs in my life so he knew he could easily take advantage of that part which he did.

I never checked his phone but when I wanted to, he'd blow up on me. He started lieing and doing his choice of drug behind my back. Then, I thought things were getting better that he was trying to put all that behind him. I've recently found out he has been shooting up heroin.

It literally turned my world upside down hearing that. They say 90% of users never get clean. I've been on quite a rollercoaster with this guy that I love, but it hasnt been the same for awhile. Him constantly being gone, making up excuses when he really was getting his fix. He was clean for about a week and then relapsed. I don't know if I should walk away from this because I don't have more time to wait around and see if things will get better. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Old 11-25-2017, 07:23 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 6,918
Hi, MissWestCoast.
Welcome to SR.
You will find lots of support here.
Especially in the Friends and Families of Alcoholics and Friends and Families of Substance Abusers forums.
Buzz on over there and have a read.
Great experience, strength and hope.
With regard to your situation, I would say that leaving your addict is probably a good idea.
Life with an addict, as you know, is just a very hard road.
Also, and I say this a lot round here, please protect your financial stuff.
Don’t leave bag with credit card around. Don’t give out pins for account access.
Addicts can be absolutely heartless about taking someone’s stuff if the need is upon them.
Good luck.
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Old 03-31-2018, 12:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: corn country, USA
Posts: 957
Hi MissWestCoast,
I agree with Maudcat, I would leave him. I have two family members who shoot heroin/ have a heroin addiction. It has really taken a toll on their lives as well as family members' lives.

It sounds like you're not married, have no kids, and he isn't even always around. Seems like you give yourself (and him) a clean break and move on with relatively little complications.

Best of luck.
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Old 04-01-2018, 01:06 PM   #4 (permalink)

Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 572
I think you may be on to that 90% statistic of users never getting clean. Many don't even want to (alcoholics and addicts alike). They just don't see it as a problem. And many of the ones that do quit don't stay quit, and that will always be an issue for an addict and alcoholic. Addiction is for life.

And for those lucky enough to get out of its grips, the mental healing takes a while. Getting sober, and staying sober, are two different things. Being with an addict exacts a mental toll, and I imagine in involves heartache. Only you know whether you're willing to endure that.
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