What is enambling
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Roseville, Ca
Posts: 35
What is enambling
There are many ideas about substance use problems that are meant to help people understand things better but often have the unintended consequence of making people feel worse about themselves and more confused.
Trying to Help Does not Make you an Enabler! - The Center for Motivation & Change
Trying to Help Does not Make you an Enabler! - The Center for Motivation & Change
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,251
Enabling
Not enabling or helping in anyway is just one tool when dealing with an addict/alkie. The biggest school of thought I see is a tough love approach which includes making the person independent. Recovery and addiction are more encompassing than the substance.
I used think those who said DO NOT ENABLE were too radical. But after several years of dealing with an alkie/addict I see exactly where they are coming from. And in many respects it works.
I understand giving an alkie SOME assistance a sober person might get like temporary shelter, a meal, maybe some clothing. The problem with going much beyond that is that less time & resources the alkie/addict has to put towards the daily necessities of life the more left over for their preferred substance and activities. The alkie/addict frequently doesn't have their priorities straight and/or continuously avoid the mundane pesky details of daily life. This not only gets them out work but they don't learn anything. Sometimes or even everyday one has to do things that are not pleasant, they hate or stress them but they do it because they realize it's a necessity and they get through it. Many an alkie/addict already have trouble dealing with reality or things they 'don't like', they can't cope-the talking heads frequently talk about coping skills.
I'd say anything that directly contributes to their habit is enabling. Money is the biggest enabler out there. Give them a meal but not money to go get something to eat as an example.
As you see there are multiple approaches and schools of thought so I'd just consider them 'a' or one of many tools in the box. Right tool for the job they say.
I used think those who said DO NOT ENABLE were too radical. But after several years of dealing with an alkie/addict I see exactly where they are coming from. And in many respects it works.
I understand giving an alkie SOME assistance a sober person might get like temporary shelter, a meal, maybe some clothing. The problem with going much beyond that is that less time & resources the alkie/addict has to put towards the daily necessities of life the more left over for their preferred substance and activities. The alkie/addict frequently doesn't have their priorities straight and/or continuously avoid the mundane pesky details of daily life. This not only gets them out work but they don't learn anything. Sometimes or even everyday one has to do things that are not pleasant, they hate or stress them but they do it because they realize it's a necessity and they get through it. Many an alkie/addict already have trouble dealing with reality or things they 'don't like', they can't cope-the talking heads frequently talk about coping skills.
I'd say anything that directly contributes to their habit is enabling. Money is the biggest enabler out there. Give them a meal but not money to go get something to eat as an example.
As you see there are multiple approaches and schools of thought so I'd just consider them 'a' or one of many tools in the box. Right tool for the job they say.
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