What about the rest of us?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
What about the rest of us?
I, for one, am getting tired of constantly thinking about my son with the drug problem in my family. We have other family members besides him! How about them? I do spend time with them. I have 3 adult children, one has a drug problem and the other 2 don't. Then there are my husband and 3 grandchildren total. (2 of the children are my addicted son's children who live with their sober mom...thank goodness, and 1 is my daughter's child).
I am looking for things you might do to improve the quality of life with the 'other' people in the family.
I just recently retired so have much more time which is fantastic. I do more with my adult children and grandchildren. We have started Family Bowling Night (my granddaughter's idea). Mostly things are covered with the grandchildren. I am thinking more of my husband.
He is extra grumpy lately and that is a challenge. I read Blue's idea in another thread about her feeling calendar. I don't think my husband would do that but we could try.
He and I have been married 43 years and have weathered this addiction stuff for a long time so we'll be okay. I just want things to be better. A more quality life. We have some changes in our own life to adjust to as well as dealing with our son's garbage. Son is in jail now. He violated his probation by shoplifting. Yes, fun, fun!!!!
So anyway, what are some practical ways we can work through not only our worries and fears regarding our son but at the same time enjoy our own life! It is sometimes hard to think about how to make the other person happy when you are struggling to stay happy yourself if you know what I mean. I suppose we need a date night, huh? Lol! (just thought of this as I was typing). We kind of have established (if you call us doing it two times an establishment, lol) a date morning. The last two Saturday's we have been going to garage sales for fun. This morning we only got 3 books spending 75 cents but last Saturday we hit the jackpot with a nice area rug for $10 and a quality floor lamp for only $5.
So how to you all keep the 'other' family members on your radar?
Thanks, Kari
I am looking for things you might do to improve the quality of life with the 'other' people in the family.
I just recently retired so have much more time which is fantastic. I do more with my adult children and grandchildren. We have started Family Bowling Night (my granddaughter's idea). Mostly things are covered with the grandchildren. I am thinking more of my husband.
He is extra grumpy lately and that is a challenge. I read Blue's idea in another thread about her feeling calendar. I don't think my husband would do that but we could try.
He and I have been married 43 years and have weathered this addiction stuff for a long time so we'll be okay. I just want things to be better. A more quality life. We have some changes in our own life to adjust to as well as dealing with our son's garbage. Son is in jail now. He violated his probation by shoplifting. Yes, fun, fun!!!!
So anyway, what are some practical ways we can work through not only our worries and fears regarding our son but at the same time enjoy our own life! It is sometimes hard to think about how to make the other person happy when you are struggling to stay happy yourself if you know what I mean. I suppose we need a date night, huh? Lol! (just thought of this as I was typing). We kind of have established (if you call us doing it two times an establishment, lol) a date morning. The last two Saturday's we have been going to garage sales for fun. This morning we only got 3 books spending 75 cents but last Saturday we hit the jackpot with a nice area rug for $10 and a quality floor lamp for only $5.
So how to you all keep the 'other' family members on your radar?
Thanks, Kari
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Well, I know everybody is different but here are a few things that we've done. (Keep in mind I don't have adult children, DD is only 10 
)
~ Wii games - no matter your skill level or what the weather is, this is a great way to stay active & have fun indoors. We love the bowling, tennis/sports games as well as the Wii Fit games using the balance board.
~ Restaurant Bingo - not a very creative name but I didn't know what else to call it, lol. Every other Sunday we took turns selecting a restaurant that we wanted to try. The goal was that we would try new restaurants & new foods as often as possible & when it was your turn to pick, no one could veto your choice. No repeats were allowed unless every person agreed with the choice (which happened a couple of times - we found a lot of new things/places that we liked but had never taken the time to try.) It helped expose DD to a lot of new tastes for her palate.
~ Annual memberships for local attractions - zoos, nature preserves, parks, etc. It got us on their mailing lists & more aware of the events they hosted so we found all kinds of affordable activities.
) ~ Wii games - no matter your skill level or what the weather is, this is a great way to stay active & have fun indoors. We love the bowling, tennis/sports games as well as the Wii Fit games using the balance board.
~ Restaurant Bingo - not a very creative name but I didn't know what else to call it, lol. Every other Sunday we took turns selecting a restaurant that we wanted to try. The goal was that we would try new restaurants & new foods as often as possible & when it was your turn to pick, no one could veto your choice. No repeats were allowed unless every person agreed with the choice (which happened a couple of times - we found a lot of new things/places that we liked but had never taken the time to try.) It helped expose DD to a lot of new tastes for her palate.
~ Annual memberships for local attractions - zoos, nature preserves, parks, etc. It got us on their mailing lists & more aware of the events they hosted so we found all kinds of affordable activities.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
I love the Restaurant Bingo idea! DS is a bit too young to sit through a meal yet, but when he's a bit older that's something I want to try. We have so many cool and unusual restaurants popping up here, especially different culture ones with names I can't pronounce, so that's a wonderful idea!
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((KariSue))
My hubby & I are raising one of our granddaughters, have adult children, one who is an addict/alcoholic - always creating drama ~ 6 other grandaughters, jobs, etc. . .
When we finally have the time alone to have "date night" for a movie, a meal out alone, going to garage sales, dinner with adult friends, one of our goals is to do our best to not talk about the adult child with addiction/alcoholism issues ~ to keep our conversations about US or other interest ~
It's like we try to give ourselves a night off from all the stress & pressure ~
It doesn't always work - but sometimes it does & it is a great relief.
wishing you the best ~
My hubby & I are raising one of our granddaughters, have adult children, one who is an addict/alcoholic - always creating drama ~ 6 other grandaughters, jobs, etc. . .
When we finally have the time alone to have "date night" for a movie, a meal out alone, going to garage sales, dinner with adult friends, one of our goals is to do our best to not talk about the adult child with addiction/alcoholism issues ~ to keep our conversations about US or other interest ~
It's like we try to give ourselves a night off from all the stress & pressure ~
It doesn't always work - but sometimes it does & it is a great relief.
wishing you the best ~
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Hi Kari,
Congrats on your retirement, that is awesome!
Obviously since I am divorced I am not the one to give much input here. I just wanted to add that maybe you guys would like to try out auctions? My friend took me to a couple of estate auctions last year and we had so much fun! I am competitive so I have to be careful LOL.
Do you have a dog (or want one)? Here where I live there is a group called the Canine Cruisers. They all get together with their dogs on Saturday mornings and walk them. They also go to the local dog park. It sounds like a lot of fun.
When I needed some quality time with my daughter, we took a cooking lesson. It was pretty fun, and was something to do in the winter months.
I am sorry about your son, that has to hurt a lot. I am happy to hear you looking on how to focus in a healthy way with the rest of your family.
Hugs!
Congrats on your retirement, that is awesome!
Obviously since I am divorced I am not the one to give much input here. I just wanted to add that maybe you guys would like to try out auctions? My friend took me to a couple of estate auctions last year and we had so much fun! I am competitive so I have to be careful LOL.
Do you have a dog (or want one)? Here where I live there is a group called the Canine Cruisers. They all get together with their dogs on Saturday mornings and walk them. They also go to the local dog park. It sounds like a lot of fun.
When I needed some quality time with my daughter, we took a cooking lesson. It was pretty fun, and was something to do in the winter months.
I am sorry about your son, that has to hurt a lot. I am happy to hear you looking on how to focus in a healthy way with the rest of your family.
Hugs!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Hey Kari,
Im sorry I missed your thread until just now. Im sorry about you son, but I think its very important not to neglect other parts of your life.
I like the bingo game. My husband and I have been slowly getting out more again and trying different places to eat. Oddly one of our most relaxing favorites is ihop! Trying different types of take out can be nice too, and a movie at home.
Your post is timely, because Ive been encouraging all the married ladies on our thread to have a "date night" They are important!
My parents set a good example for me, they do all kinds of stuff together. From taking day trips, signing up for different kinds of classes, book clubs, going out with friends. My mom taught me the joys of the flea market and we have such a fun time looking, and getting creative with our finds.
Break open your creativity!
Im sorry I missed your thread until just now. Im sorry about you son, but I think its very important not to neglect other parts of your life.
I like the bingo game. My husband and I have been slowly getting out more again and trying different places to eat. Oddly one of our most relaxing favorites is ihop! Trying different types of take out can be nice too, and a movie at home.
Your post is timely, because Ive been encouraging all the married ladies on our thread to have a "date night" They are important!
My parents set a good example for me, they do all kinds of stuff together. From taking day trips, signing up for different kinds of classes, book clubs, going out with friends. My mom taught me the joys of the flea market and we have such a fun time looking, and getting creative with our finds.
Break open your creativity!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Originally Posted by FireSprite 
Well, I know everybody is different but here are a few things that we've done. (Keep in mind I don't have adult children, DD is only 10 )
~ Wii games - no matter your skill level or what the weather is, this is a great way to stay active & have fun indoors. We love the bowling, tennis/sports games as well as the Wii Fit games using the balance board.
~ Restaurant Bingo - not a very creative name but I didn't know what else to call it, lol. Every other Sunday we took turns selecting a restaurant that we wanted to try. The goal was that we would try new restaurants & new foods as often as possible & when it was your turn to pick, no one could veto your choice. No repeats were allowed unless every person agreed with the choice (which happened a couple of times - we found a lot of new things/places that we liked but had never taken the time to try.) It helped expose DD to a lot of new tastes for her palate.
~ Annual memberships for local attractions - zoos, nature preserves, parks, etc. It got us on their mailing lists & more aware of the events they hosted so we found all kinds of affordable activities.
) ~ Wii games - no matter your skill level or what the weather is, this is a great way to stay active & have fun indoors. We love the bowling, tennis/sports games as well as the Wii Fit games using the balance board.
~ Restaurant Bingo - not a very creative name but I didn't know what else to call it, lol. Every other Sunday we took turns selecting a restaurant that we wanted to try. The goal was that we would try new restaurants & new foods as often as possible & when it was your turn to pick, no one could veto your choice. No repeats were allowed unless every person agreed with the choice (which happened a couple of times - we found a lot of new things/places that we liked but had never taken the time to try.) It helped expose DD to a lot of new tastes for her palate.
~ Annual memberships for local attractions - zoos, nature preserves, parks, etc. It got us on their mailing lists & more aware of the events they hosted so we found all kinds of affordable activities.
I also like the annual memberships because my daughter was into some artist type group and I went to some things with her that were nice that there is no way I would have known about because they didn't advertise to the public.
Thanks for the suggestions!
Kari
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Originally Posted by MsPINKAcres
((KariSue))
My hubby & I are raising one of our granddaughters, have adult children, one who is an addict/alcoholic - always creating drama ~ 6 other grandaughters, jobs, etc. . .
When we finally have the time alone to have "date night" for a movie, a meal out alone, going to garage sales, dinner with adult friends, one of our goals is to do our best to not talk about the adult child with addiction/alcoholism issues ~ to keep our conversations about US or other interest ~
It's like we try to give ourselves a night off from all the stress & pressure ~
It doesn't always work - but sometimes it does & it is a great relief.
wishing you the best ~
My hubby & I are raising one of our granddaughters, have adult children, one who is an addict/alcoholic - always creating drama ~ 6 other grandaughters, jobs, etc. . .
When we finally have the time alone to have "date night" for a movie, a meal out alone, going to garage sales, dinner with adult friends, one of our goals is to do our best to not talk about the adult child with addiction/alcoholism issues ~ to keep our conversations about US or other interest ~
It's like we try to give ourselves a night off from all the stress & pressure ~
It doesn't always work - but sometimes it does & it is a great relief.
wishing you the best ~
I love the idea about not talking about the adult child with the substance problem. When I am with my other 2 adult children I make it a point not to discuss my addicted son unless they ask and even then try to make it quick. I want my time with them to be about them. Never thought to do it with my husband though. So thanks!
Kari
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Originally Posted by hopeful4
Hi Kari,
Congrats on your retirement, that is awesome!
Obviously since I am divorced I am not the one to give much input here. I just wanted to add that maybe you guys would like to try out auctions? My friend took me to a couple of estate auctions last year and we had so much fun! I am competitive so I have to be careful LOL.
Do you have a dog (or want one)? Here where I live there is a group called the Canine Cruisers. They all get together with their dogs on Saturday mornings and walk them. They also go to the local dog park. It sounds like a lot of fun.
When I needed some quality time with my daughter, we took a cooking lesson. It was pretty fun, and was something to do in the winter months.
I am sorry about your son, that has to hurt a lot. I am happy to hear you looking on how to focus in a healthy way with the rest of your family.
Hugs!
Congrats on your retirement, that is awesome!
Obviously since I am divorced I am not the one to give much input here. I just wanted to add that maybe you guys would like to try out auctions? My friend took me to a couple of estate auctions last year and we had so much fun! I am competitive so I have to be careful LOL.
Do you have a dog (or want one)? Here where I live there is a group called the Canine Cruisers. They all get together with their dogs on Saturday mornings and walk them. They also go to the local dog park. It sounds like a lot of fun.
When I needed some quality time with my daughter, we took a cooking lesson. It was pretty fun, and was something to do in the winter months.
I am sorry about your son, that has to hurt a lot. I am happy to hear you looking on how to focus in a healthy way with the rest of your family.
Hugs!
Thanks, yeah it does hurt but we all know how that goes unfortunately....
Kari
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Originally Posted by BlueChair
Hey Kari,
Im sorry I missed your thread until just now. Im sorry about you son, but I think its very important not to neglect other parts of your life.
I like the bingo game. My husband and I have been slowly getting out more again and trying different places to eat. Oddly one of our most relaxing favorites is ihop! Trying different types of take out can be nice too, and a movie at home.
Your post is timely, because Ive been encouraging all the married ladies on our thread to have a "date night" They are important!
My parents set a good example for me, they do all kinds of stuff together. From taking day trips, signing up for different kinds of classes, book clubs, going out with friends. My mom taught me the joys of the flea market and we have such a fun time looking, and getting creative with our finds.
Break open your creativity!
Im sorry I missed your thread until just now. Im sorry about you son, but I think its very important not to neglect other parts of your life.
I like the bingo game. My husband and I have been slowly getting out more again and trying different places to eat. Oddly one of our most relaxing favorites is ihop! Trying different types of take out can be nice too, and a movie at home.
Your post is timely, because Ive been encouraging all the married ladies on our thread to have a "date night" They are important!
My parents set a good example for me, they do all kinds of stuff together. From taking day trips, signing up for different kinds of classes, book clubs, going out with friends. My mom taught me the joys of the flea market and we have such a fun time looking, and getting creative with our finds.
Break open your creativity!
Usually I am creative but I'm glad I asked because I found some new ideas I hadn't thought of.
Kari
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