What are the signs that i need to be looking for in my husband's struggle to recovery
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
What are the signs that i need to be looking for in my husband's struggle to recovery
Could relapses, ironically be a sign of my husband's plight to kick his addiction to alcohol? Am I looking at a recent relapse that my husband is going through the wrong way?
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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My husband came home for a visit when he was in rehab and then relapsed. When he went to sign back in after the weekend they found out and told me. I went a little crazy. Yelling at him, thinking he had no self control, he didnt want to stop using, he didnt care about himself, or hurting me. The doctors put me in counseling then and started explaining almost everything I felt was not completely accurate. Relapse happens a lot in the beginning because of the way the body and brain are wired. Its all complicated, and my husband didnt screw up, and it didnt mean anything in particular. He worked with his doctors on the reasons why he used that day, and they used it to help him go further in recovery.
I think if he hadnt had a doctor, been in counseling, had support to stop at that point, it could have got to be a bigger relapse. But then it shows to me if a person cant stop, they need to call in the troops, whatever works for them and get help.
We have been going through stages of change on another thread here. If your husband was in the Action stage of quitting, Im assuming because you said relapse, then without knowing more details I would ask I guess, has he stopped the relapse? Whats his attitude? Is he trying to make adjustments? There have been a couple times my husband has had physical and emotional things going on, and he was able to realize he needed to see his counselor more for a while, change his day up to reduce stress and relax. These things are signs of change and effort.
Or it could be, your husband is switching between an action stage, and a lesser contemplation stage where he is weighing the cost, benefit of drinking/using, and not fully dedicated to action.
What are your feelings towards his relapse,, and how is his behavior affecting u?
I think if he hadnt had a doctor, been in counseling, had support to stop at that point, it could have got to be a bigger relapse. But then it shows to me if a person cant stop, they need to call in the troops, whatever works for them and get help.
We have been going through stages of change on another thread here. If your husband was in the Action stage of quitting, Im assuming because you said relapse, then without knowing more details I would ask I guess, has he stopped the relapse? Whats his attitude? Is he trying to make adjustments? There have been a couple times my husband has had physical and emotional things going on, and he was able to realize he needed to see his counselor more for a while, change his day up to reduce stress and relax. These things are signs of change and effort.
Or it could be, your husband is switching between an action stage, and a lesser contemplation stage where he is weighing the cost, benefit of drinking/using, and not fully dedicated to action.
What are your feelings towards his relapse,, and how is his behavior affecting u?
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Originally Posted by PaperDolls 
I'm not sure what you mean ssenteews.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by BlueChair
My husband came home for a visit when he was in rehab and then relapsed. When he went to sign back in after the weekend they found out and told me. I went a little crazy. Yelling at him, thinking he had no self control, he didnt want to stop using, he didnt care about himself, or hurting me. The doctors put me in counseling then and started explaining almost everything I felt was not completely accurate. Relapse happens a lot in the beginning because of the way the body and brain are wired. Its all complicated, and my husband didnt screw up, and it didnt mean anything in particular. He worked with his doctors on the reasons why he used that day, and they used it to help him go further in recovery.
I think if he hadnt had a doctor, been in counseling, had support to stop at that point, it could have got to be a bigger relapse. But then it shows to me if a person cant stop, they need to call in the troops, whatever works for them and get help.
We have been going through stages of change on another thread here. If your husband was in the Action stage of quitting, Im assuming because you said relapse, then without knowing more details I would ask I guess, has he stopped the relapse? Whats his attitude? Is he trying to make adjustments? There have been a couple times my husband has had physical and emotional things going on, and he was able to realize he needed to see his counselor more for a while, change his day up to reduce stress and relax. These things are signs of change and effort.
Or it could be, your husband is switching between an action stage, and a lesser contemplation stage where he is weighing the cost, benefit of drinking/using, and not fully dedicated to action.
What are your feelings towards his relapse,, and how is his behavior affecting u?
I think if he hadnt had a doctor, been in counseling, had support to stop at that point, it could have got to be a bigger relapse. But then it shows to me if a person cant stop, they need to call in the troops, whatever works for them and get help.
We have been going through stages of change on another thread here. If your husband was in the Action stage of quitting, Im assuming because you said relapse, then without knowing more details I would ask I guess, has he stopped the relapse? Whats his attitude? Is he trying to make adjustments? There have been a couple times my husband has had physical and emotional things going on, and he was able to realize he needed to see his counselor more for a while, change his day up to reduce stress and relax. These things are signs of change and effort.
Or it could be, your husband is switching between an action stage, and a lesser contemplation stage where he is weighing the cost, benefit of drinking/using, and not fully dedicated to action.
What are your feelings towards his relapse,, and how is his behavior affecting u?
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Originally Posted by ssenteews
PaperDolls, I think what I'm trying to say is, in my husband's struggle to stay sober from alcohol will he have mood swings, sleep more or less, be restless, etc.
Are you attempting alanon or getting any face to face support? It's scary but really very helpful.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Canada.
Posts: 795
From what I understand, the beginning part of getting sober can be very hard, both for your A and for you. Do you have the opportunity to see a counsellor? one that specializes in addictions would be best, he or she can help you with what to expect. Unfortunately my A isn't sober so I can't help much, but the people on the forum are very helpful and knowledgeable.
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