Tiredofdrugs

SVL: You can just drop the LOST!

Allfor: Your right! TOD: If you step on anyone's feelings or toes, then they will just stomp back... LOL..

Looks like Cleanin's kids will go back to school today! According to the weather channel.

The VAH might have fallen down on the pain med monitoring for Jethro? But I haven't!

I must be getting better in my clean time? I just cleaned out the plastic cabinet! LOL What a disaster that cabinet was! Jethro washes everything plastic. Meat containers included! Then they end up being thrown in that cabinet! ARGH! It's now so neat and orderly!

I gotta get the roast/veggies put in the bowl I saved for that. (Needing a bowl for the roast is what started that cleaning, LOL) And in the freezer with it. Get the load of towels in the dryer and fold the other two loads of towels.

Do y'all watch "The Biggest Loser?" The final is on Thursday night! It's amazing seeing the change in those weight losers!

Already 3:45 AM! Yikes!

TOD

cleaninLI

TOD kids are home another day. We were hit the hardest in our area...Suffolk County, Long Island. But I just saw where Boston was hit worse than us! Are you ok Butter?

Alfor those are quite a few animal organizations that actor is involved with. It gives a different perspective when you learn about the actor's real life and interests. Would love a pic of your valentine tree!

I used to watch those shows TOD but now i'm afraid to watch too much TV because then I would need to be on that show! Ha! TV plus food commercials equal 25 more pounds on me! Been there done that! So I am happy to tinker along in my house. I get more done that way too.

cleaninLI

Alfor it's strange how attitudes have changed regarding treatment of animals and well even alcohol consumption. What used to be considered funny isn't as funny as it used to be...or it's not "politically" correct anymore. Lol but yes I've watched plenty of TV shows and movies where the vicious watchdog becomes a lazy drunk. Ha!

SVL I think the good thing about all this is how you recognize these things about yourself and are willing to figure out why and work thru it so you will both have a successful outcome.

PinkCloudsCharley

Clean, LOL, yes I think I need to do a lot of digging too But you have a good point about the gym thing. Completely makes sense. And I think the only way I will visibly see the changes is to just wait. And pray. and work on making more positive experiences.

ToD, thank you for sharing your story about you and Jethro. I see a real warrior spirit in you, and you have been thru so much. And now, Jethro, the one who stood with you through the pain pills, is on his own journey. It sounds like he's starting to come out of his fog and understand a bit what he's doing and that's good. Your comments about becoming comfortable in our environments and then someone noticing something is going on is like a child with a hand in the cookie jar is spot on. That's how it was with H and me. One day I just realized, hey, something is wrong here, and he acted like a child who had been caught stealing. Then came the defensiveness and childishness, like you said.

I had to LOL at the story of your daughter in McDonalds! Sorry

Allfor, I love the easter tree idea, actually, with the glittering eggs against the lights! Your son is adorable. My son just learned to say "Oops sorry" and it is so cute because he can't say his "r"s. DS is a late talker, he just really started talking around Christmas, so to hear him say anything is music!

I'm glad to hear, Allfor, that you had your own anger to work out. Sometimes when I think about other people I think they have it all together, and feel like I'm a horrible person for not being there yet. It's really good to know that I'm normal, these feelings are normal, and everyone goes through them in one form or another. You are all so wise and wonderful to listen to and I appreciate it so much!!

I can't believe Stephanie Powers is 73. wow. I feel old now. When I was young I thought she was one of the most beautiful women on television.

ToD, H watches Biggest Loser. And eats ice cream while he's watching. LOL!

Clean, how is the weather where you are now? Was your hubby able to dig himself out for work today?

Butter, haven't heard from you in a while ... how are you doing?

Blue, did you already go to your family session? If you did, I hope it went well!

H got his blood work back from before his surgery. His sugars are at 6.9, and diabetic is 7. He is *this close* to alcohol-induced diabetes. Is it horrible I am thrilled about this? He's going to have to start monitoring his food and exercise and hopefully bring that down.

Greeteachday contacted me last night and explained how to change my screen name. now I just have to think of a good one! I'm thinking I might change it to something closer to my real name, since H has promised to never read this forum. he would recognize me right away anyway, no matter what name I use. Or maybe I should use something to reflect how I'm feeling lately. Something I need to think about!

EyesOfAStranger

Hello, just a quick message to let you know I'm still here

I have a full on flu....just feel awful. Moving hurts and I'm sleeping more than any human should be able to. Oh yeah, little blizzard thing going on, on top of that. It is ridiculous how much snow we got. I haven't tried to leave the house yet, this should be interesting. Thanks to some wonderful neighbors at least the walk has been done and behind my car. The town will just have to fine me for the sidewalks if they feel the need.....I don't even know where the snow would go. And Butter, I really do feel for you. All I wish was my mom was here (and told her so!) and I'm 41! Just the place I go to when I'm sick.

I will write more later, and respond to all your wonderful posts. I just need to go to bed again (again?)....glad you got through it Clean and hope Butter is well too. Talk soon.

PinkCloudsCharley

Eyes, good to hear from you! I didnt realize you lived in that stormy area, glad to hear you are safe. But, ugh, sorry to hear you've got the flu it's particularly nasty this year I've found. Take care of yourself!!

BlueChair

I miss you girls! Ive been out of the office all day with my boss, all work and no time to play!
Soverylost, ok girl I saw what u wrote? You said husband promised not to read here. UGH! I need to come clean about my online support with him, but Im a little scared and plus Ive hid it so long! I may have to use our family session, but it might be worse there Im so confused. Was your husband ok with it? Its an omission and I feel a lot of guilt over it. Tomorrow is our session, dont know if Im ready. Im a coward! Oh no its the inner voice saying mean things to me!

BB soon!

Eyes Im sorry your sick! I would cook for you if I could! Stop laughing, your using up your energy reserve!

cleaninLI

Hey girls! Well I ended up getting my car dug out of the garage thanks to my neighbor angel next door! He came over with his snow blower! I will most definitely bake my chocolate chip cookies tomorrow and take them over to him! He really helped me tons! Just so relieved!

Eyes so sorry to hear that you have the flu! Ugh! That's awful! Please get some rest and take good care of yourself! Wish you lived closer I'd be over with a pot of my grandmother's chicken noodle soup....guaranteed to bring the fever down and settle that tummy of yours!

Blue lunch with the boss aye? Do I see a promotion in your near future?

SVL whatever you decide I'm sure it will be nice.

Butter how's your leg?

After our dig out my daughter and I took the kiddos to the library. My youngest was asking for a couple mystery books. Said her teacher told her she needs to read more. The librarian was very helpful and found lots to choose from that were large print...perfect for my daughter. She said if there was a certain series my daughter liked that were not offered in large print to let her know and she would order them.
Then we picked up my husband and went to Home Depot. My older daughter wants to replace her door to her room. The one she has isn't a full size and the noise in the morning disturbs her. She found one along with this cool paint that is like a chalk board and allows anyone to draw on the door and erase and redraw. Weird what they come up with. Ha!

Then at my son's request we went off to Panera Bread for dinner. So I was off-the-hook for dinner! Yay!

Now, I'm in the kitchen cleaning up and packing the lunches....but will be done soon!

Alfor hope you are ok! I miss our chats!

allforcnm

I have a new appreciation for the library since my son came along. He loves to go there & it reminds me of how I enjoyed it when I was younger. Our library has special things for kids, book readings and arts and crafts in their conference rooms . I try to keep up with their schedule and take him when I can. I think its good for him to be around other kids too.

They have a lot of adult things too.. my husband can get lost in there.. just like when he goes to a bookstore.. (the ones we have left).. so many have closed in the last few years.

All your kids are really smart. I think it was really good your daughter followed through when her teacher said she should be reading more. Shes paying attention.

I think your neighbor will love a batch of cookies. I know I would. That was really nice of him to help you guys out. I think lots of times neighbors are willing to help out like that.. I was even hearing someone on one of the news channels from NY say that neighbors were helping each other, and of course they praising NY as to how the community all comes togeher when there is a need.

Eyes, I hope you feel better soon. I will send up a prayer for you.. at least you don’t have to worry about the snow for now, and Im sure the cats don’t want to go out in it.. Mine probably would … LOL

TOD , can I tell another walmart story? Its not my fault, SVL mentioned them. LOL I went off on a big rant about our Walmart store to TOD a few weeks ago. We have one but it’s a little out of the way and so I shop at Target. LOL But TOD and I were talking and I was reminded about the pecan log candy Walmart used to carry. So I took it upon my self to make several special trips to look for those logs… I never did find them, looks like they discontinued them. But of course I shopped some while I was there.. I had issues with our store ( and I know they are not all alike) but the shopping carts often had trash left in them… used handwipes, wrappers, or papers. Not such a big deal unless you have a little one who puts their hands on everything… I found a lot of their cans were dented, the shelves are really deep in certain sections of the store and also very tall. So items I wanted would be all gone except for ones way in the back where no one can reach them.. My son offered to crawl in and pull out a box of cat food for us.. I was tempted.. but didn’t let him.. LOL But one day I was trying to get something out of the freezer section. They had what I wanted, but it was on the top shelf and pushed all the way to the back. I was so fed up. So we continued shopping and ran across the broom aisle.. OH YES I DID. Not a large broom but a short handled one.. we put it on our cart and finally when we were alone on the freezer aisle I used the broom to reach the frozen food and pull it out. LOL I would NEVER consider doing this at any other store.. that was my personal low point.

SVL, I had no idea she was in her 70’s either. You have to look at her website.. she does NOT look 73.. she looks about 43 to me. And they just interviewed her for AARP magazine… love to know her secrets. The show is very interesting because even though it ended in early 1980s it doesn’t seem outdated (at least to me) except for the lack of violence, sex scenes. Her clothes don’t seem to be outdated really because she wore pretty classic pieces, an their cars are not outdated because they are classics, but sometimes when they show street scenes there are the long, boat like cars.. LOL..

I also looked up Jonathan.. Robert Wagner.. there was just a fake death announcement being made about him just this week. I also found these quotes of his that I will share..

“It's important to enjoy life as it comes and be able to see without tears in my eyes”
“I've learned one important thing about God's gifts - what we do with them is our gift to Him.”

Blue -
I think you will know when it’s the right time to tell your husband. Just be sure you think it through and don’t act on emotion because I know there are valid reasons why you havent shared it with him.

Butter – where are you? Are you snowed in and all forms of communication are cut off? LOL

cleaninLI

Hi everyone!

Just a quick hello to everyone!

I'm shocked at how few cravings I'm getting now! This is really a blessing for me to get over it so fast! It's now day 14 and today is the first day I have money in my pocket and could purchase a pack if I wanted to mess up all my hard work so far! I mention it only because it crossed my mind. But I don't want to mess it up! It took a lot for me to get to this comfortable point and I'm not willing to ruin it and have to do it all over again! One thing I have noticed is it's harder each time you give in and have to restart it. This last time was harder than that first time. Not sure why that is....but maybe it's because I have to reach the point I was at before I messed up or I just feel like a failure...and those feelings are hard to shake? But...don't worry....I do not feel like a failure today! Plus I'm no where near the point of giving in! Just brought it up because it crossed my mind and wanted to explain how I was feeling and where my head was for a fleeting moment. Lol

I'm going to get up from this couch in a few short minutes to put together a pot of chili. I think that would be a perfect meal to feed my hungry kids on this cold and snowy day. Will keep my hands busy and mind away from cigarettes. Need to make those cookies too. What better ways to heat up the house and keep myself busy inside my warm and cozy kitchen?

Alfor you mentioned your husband getting lost in a bookstore...that is mine for you too! Lol course I love bookstores and libraries too! But hubs and I have different tastes when it comes to the types of books we like to read. But it's sad to see them go isn't it? But the good news for us....is there are some excellent bookstores still open in the city....but lots have closed! Same reason most newspapers are out of business. I mean it's awesome that we have so much wealth at our fingertips just sad to see things disappear and close. But we do have lots of Barnes and Nobles Superstores with Starbucks inside...but even better than that....and my favorites are the old secondhand types that have been there for generations and are in the basements of other businesses like a dry cleaners or shoe repair shop....because there is no way they could remain open alone....those being the owners real passion not profit. My kids do not read as much as they should. I mean if you consider reading from the internet than yes...but from an actual book? No. Lol At least not at home!!! I think that's great that you take your son there! You are right they have lots of nice activities for the kids!

I remember Robert Wagner was in a lot of shows back in the day. Wasn't he the one that was married to Natalie Wood? She drowned while they were on their yacht? He was accused of murdering her? Or do I have that all wrong?

Alright, back to my chili prep. Hope everyone is staying toasty warm!

buttercup89

Congrats on your 14 days clean that is amazing Keep adding those days.

I'm better. Leg is healing

PinkCloudsCharley

Blue, a full day with the boss? I hope you like your boss, lol, I really like mine but couldn't handle that! As far as the forum goes ... I told H a while ago about it. I told him the name but he doesn't remember so he'd have to search it. I told him a lot more when he went through detox and wanted to know more about Craft. I also told him to let him know I was getting serious about making changes. He's ok with it after I explained what it was about but he was worried that people would be forcing me to make changes I wasn't prepared to. If you're not ready to tell your husbunny, then that's ok. You'll know when he's receptive to it. and sometimes we need to keep some things for ourselves, and if this is one of those things, that's ok.

Clean, you have a wonderful neighbour! Glad you were able to get out of the garage! I love the library, I used to spend hours in there before I had kids and had time lol! And bookstores, oh, I love them!! I've been reading a bit of the old All About Me thread and saw you used to be a teacher, Clean? That's so cool, I was a teacher in a past life. I haven't taught since we moved back to Canada. We have too many teachers and not enough jobs, so I got a job at the University and I love it. But I still have all those teacher things in me still
I love that chalkboard paint too, your daughter will have such a cool door!

Allfor, I laughed about your walmart story! That isn't at all how Walmarts are here but I remember the one where we lived in the US and that makes sense LOL!

Speaking of older actors, did you know Tom Selleck turned 70 today? I LOVED Magnum PI! Still do if I happen to catch a rerun. 70!! wow.

Clean, that is such awesome news about the cravings! You have come SO far!! It sounds like you are so determined this time and maybe that's why the cravings are lessening so quickly, your body is saying "uh uh, no way, we're getting rid of that junk!" You are a real inspiration!!

Chili and warm chocolate chip cookies, ahh, I can smell them all the way here!

Butter, you haven't been here in a while ... hope you are ok!!

Does anyone remember The Dreamer? She started posting on this board around the same time I did. If I remember she was pre-med and her boyfriend lived a ways from her and he was having a really rough time. She had gone to see him after a suicide attempt or maybe he was just talking about suicide, and then she never came back. Has anyone ever heard how she is doing?

PinkCloudsCharley

Butter, you snuck in here while I was posting! GLad to hear your leg is getting better, but how is the rest of you doing?

BlueChair

Hi !

Yesterday I was gone all workday with my boss. We went to a client sits and had to drive about two hours each way. Then do a presentation, and he didnt give me any prior notice but asked if I would go. He would have been ok if I said noooo Im not prepared. He would have went alone, but I took it as a challenge for myself. It was a long day

Husbunny knows about the things I was learning in counseling, and what our family cou selor tells us. The craft stuff is about the same, and I think its why it felt comfortable to me. Other things I explored had radically different ideas. But I know he will come here and read not to be nosy about my posts exactly, but to see what others say, and make sure no one is trying to twist my mind. Some things he would be better off never being exposed to is how I feel. But I also hate keeping secrets because I dont with him. Ive been confused over it a long time.

If only Butter would stop trying to twist my mind! Hahaha

nope havent heard again from Dreamer. I hope they are ok.

Clean !! Woo hoo! Happy dance for you, we will throw down cigs and dance on top of them!

cleaninLI

Soverylost, I remember Dreamer but haven't heard from her in a long time! Dreamer if you are still reading....please let us know how you're doing! I have been thinking about a few posters from awhile back! MAG was one and another was from a very Long time ago. Like when Blue just came here! (Not on this thread)

I always hope that they are doing well and their SO is making progress and that is why they haven't been checking in. Wishful thinking I guess?

Thank you for all you said to me Soverylost!

cleaninLI

Oh Blue I was typing while you popped in! Ha ha ha! Thank you for the little celebration! I'm in the mood to dance today! Glad everything worked out with you and your Boss and that client.

I understand how you feel about husbunny and the forum. Like allfor, I think you will know when it's right....no need to rush it. Soverylost is right...some things are for us and I don't think it's wrong not to tell or at least to wait until your ready, because of the reason you joined here.

Thank you butter! Glad you are ok!

PinkCloudsCharley

Blue it sounds awesome that you challenged yourself and did that presentation!

I don't like keeping secrets from H either, but I do sometimes because I don't think H would care or, I don't know, I just want to keep them for myself, or when he was actively drinking I kept a lot of secrets because he was very unpredictable. This I told H about because I knew he would be ok with it. But I told him after he went through detox because before, if he was drunk one night, I'm sure he would start snooping and I didn't want him to. Now he knows more and says he won't look for it. I can understand why you are feeling guilty about keeping it secret but it's not a bad secret, if you decided to keep it, it's a very helpful one if that makes sense ... I'm rambling but I guess I just want to say that you'll know when it's right to tell him and don't feel bad until that time comes ... this forum is a good thing

A smoke-free dance celebration for Clean! Woo hoo I'm in!!

BlueChair

Thanks. For some reason Im nervous going back to our family session after the two month break so Im taking the pressure off myself and not going to worry for today about coming clean. Ill just stay dirty! Hahaha Im proud of you for telling your husband Soverylost! I also understand why you waited , but it was a big step forward for you sharing with him, saying you were taking action. Doing counseling and anything else you thought would help you get through this. Bravo!

Clean Im not a good dancer in real life! Husband doesnt like anything but slow dances, no going out and shaking the _____ for me at least in public! No Miley Cyrus

EyesOfAStranger

Chantal - hi! I think you posted when I was writing my novel a couple of days ago and I didn't even see you there

Allfor....it's funny, no my spoiled cats definitely don't like the cold or the snow. But a couple of years ago I thought it would be funny to throw them in a snow bank, just to see how they would respond to it. Not exactly smart thinking on my part as of course they are completely white and they promptly disappeared! So joke was on my as I had to go in searching for them, haha.

No, I have very rarely mentioned J (or Jim really - guess a name that common won't give up any anonymity lol) and it's something I'm just starting to look back at now, because I think it screwed me up more than I let myself realize, if that makes sense. Even in real life, he always assumed I went around talking bad about it, yet I didn't - always put him in a positive light. I am in no way blaming him for my addiction - it was my choice to cope with things the way I did, but there is no doubt that his presence caused me to make that choice, if that makes sense.

See, and this is going to sound weird I'm sure, but for the longest time I didn't feel like I had a "right" to be an addict. So many that I know, the majority I would even dare say, had rough childhoods, had been abused - emotional, physically, sexually, or had grown up around addiction as the norm. And I didn't. I had a lovely family (albeit not an outwardly affectionate one), a fairly good childhood, excellent role models. I felt guilty in a way - that I allowed this to happen.

So I have heard different views - some say it's important to know why you use, others say it doesn't matter. I'll be honest, I'm a proponent of the former so I've really been thinking it through lately. And I'm finding there are more issues than even I realized. Sure, there are the issues of growing up overweight, not fitting in in school, you know - the stuff a lot of kids go through. But my relationship with him, by far, was the turning point in my life where things went really bad. And it wasn't all him, as much as I would like to think it was. And there was always this part of me that felt bad for him too....as awful as some of the things he did, he had a tough tough life. And at one point, the thought of putting him out on the street (not that he'd go) made me feel horrible - knowing he had no family or friends, knowing he had no where to go. I understand now that wasn't my concern, but it sure tugged on my heartstrings at the time. And he knew how to play that up. Not making excuses for him in the least, just finding now I really need to explore those years....one thing I've never been able to forgive myself for is me allowing to let happen some of the things that happened. Clean has given me some wonderful advice in that arena, and I'm sure I will continue to explore it here if you all don't mind - I do feel safe here, and that makes all the difference in the world.

But, that's another story (or several ) for another time. Still feeling under the weather here and I've already forgotten all your posts that I was planning on responding to! Soverylost....the fact that you are thinking of changing your user names shows how far you've come and grown Big hugs to you that all is going well.

Clean, the chicken soup sounds wonderful! I do wish you were closer! Heck, I'd take your cooking right now too Blue My folks are down in one of the Carolina's (always forget if it's North or South) for the winter yet again, so some home cooking sounds wonderful! Butter - how are you with that? Hm, I retract that statement but hope you are feeling better as well. Ok, back to laying down...just wanted to say hi. Talk soon!

Tiredofdrugs

Hi everyone!

So much to comment on!

I'm doing the things that normally have to be done this time of the evening though! Sigh!

Also watching the final on "The biggest Loser"! YAY Losers!

So until later!

TOD