Step 3 prayer with a sponsor?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Step 3 prayer with a sponsor?
Did any of you guys who don't believe in God do the step 3 prayer with a sponsor?
I recall my first sponsor insisting that I do it and it was a real stumbling block to me. When I eventually got onto the steps (with another sponsor) he never asked me to do it with him, I guess knowing my views on God ... which were similar to his.
I wondered how others worked this?
I recall my first sponsor insisting that I do it and it was a real stumbling block to me. When I eventually got onto the steps (with another sponsor) he never asked me to do it with him, I guess knowing my views on God ... which were similar to his.
I wondered how others worked this?
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Heard a guy give a talk.
He told his sponsor he did not believe in God. His sponsor gave him a prayer to say. Next day his sponsor asks him if he said the prayer. He tells his sponsor "I told you yesterday that I did not believe in God".
His sponsor replies "I didn't ask you if you believe in God. I asked you if you said the prayer?"
He told his sponsor he did not believe in God. His sponsor gave him a prayer to say. Next day his sponsor asks him if he said the prayer. He tells his sponsor "I told you yesterday that I did not believe in God".
His sponsor replies "I didn't ask you if you believe in God. I asked you if you said the prayer?"
Friend of Jimmy B
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 667
Nope. Never. Not with any of my three sponsors. Still here and happily, psychically changed.
Boleo's story reminds me of a conversation with Jim - sponsor #2. I told him I don't believe in gods. He never insisted I pray to anything. He asked what it is I do or can believe in. He helped me open a lot of doors.
Interesting question from my perspective as an atheist who sponsors non atheists. I tell them if prayer works then work it.
I'm a spirit rather than letter of the law guy.
-allan
Boleo's story reminds me of a conversation with Jim - sponsor #2. I told him I don't believe in gods. He never insisted I pray to anything. He asked what it is I do or can believe in. He helped me open a lot of doors.
Interesting question from my perspective as an atheist who sponsors non atheists. I tell them if prayer works then work it.
I'm a spirit rather than letter of the law guy.
-allan
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by CousinA 
Interesting question from my perspective as an atheist who sponsors non atheists. I tell them if prayer works then work it.
Not unlike karma, when we cooperate with the universe, the Universe cooperates with us.
Friend of Jimmy B
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 667
"I don't know" is a big part of my 3rd. When I KNOW is when I'm taking it all back.
I say a lot of "prayers". I Don't Know, count to 10. The 3rd, 7th and St. Francis, not on my knees but walking or sitting around without the religious bits. It doesn't matter if I don't believe anyone is listening as long as I am.
Cheers
-allan
I say a lot of "prayers". I Don't Know, count to 10. The 3rd, 7th and St. Francis, not on my knees but walking or sitting around without the religious bits. It doesn't matter if I don't believe anyone is listening as long as I am.
Cheers
-allan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Thanks for your comments, i feel that maybe my original post is misunderstood, I am not asking whether the prayer was done or not. What I am asking is whether you did the prayer with a sponsor or not, whether you felt it was necessary to do it with another?
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Well, since you asked...
I say the third step prayer out loud with my sponsor once a week. We go to a meeting with the theme "Steps 3, 7 and 11," and the group says all three prayers in the course of the meeting. Plus, we often mention those steps in the discussion.
I say the third step prayer out loud with my sponsor once a week. We go to a meeting with the theme "Steps 3, 7 and 11," and the group says all three prayers in the course of the meeting. Plus, we often mention those steps in the discussion.
Friend of Jimmy B
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 667
Nope. I have never done it out loud with a sponsor and don't believe it's necessary to do so. That's straight from the book which says it's desirable but it doesn't insist.
I'm sorry for any misunderstanding on my part.
I'm sorry for any misunderstanding on my part.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by CousinA
Perhaps. Or perhaps a cigar is just a cigar.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicameral_mind
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
I did it with my sponsor just to appease her. But my life has changed drastically since that day and today I do believe in a god of my own understanding. Just because you don't believe in a God doesn't mean you have to avoid the subject entirely. :-)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
I've worked Steps 1 thru 3 on my own, so I say a 3rd Step meditation by myself. I also say it at least once a day. I don't believe I would ever say it with a sponsor. Prayer and meditation are a personal thing for me; I prefer to keep the communication between my HP and me. There is no requirement to say it with your sponsor. However, I would have no problem with a sponsor looking over my 3rd Step prayer and offering input on the wording.
"We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser. But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand". BB p. 63
"We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser. But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand". BB p. 63
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern Pennsylvania
Posts: 19
Meaning no disrespect... step1 says "came to believe" implying a process and a "power greater than ourselves" . I throughly proved that my self-will and self reliance took me to the brink of an alcoholic death.
Far as the 3rd step prayer goes "it is desirable-aka preferred" ..to do it with someone... meeting Him alone to me says it's better to do so than not at all..
My own personal experience is that the man taking me thru the steps got down on his knees with me and we prayed together.
To me it was a prayer of surrender and a profound experience. Especially asking Him to relieve me from the "bondage of self" and self seeking,self reliance,twisted thinking etc. Yes I also pray alone daily as if feel God within not necessarily "out there somewhere"....but having said that I now also enjoy going to church and singing in the choir! Man who would have thought.
Far as the 3rd step prayer goes "it is desirable-aka preferred" ..to do it with someone... meeting Him alone to me says it's better to do so than not at all..
My own personal experience is that the man taking me thru the steps got down on his knees with me and we prayed together.
To me it was a prayer of surrender and a profound experience. Especially asking Him to relieve me from the "bondage of self" and self seeking,self reliance,twisted thinking etc. Yes I also pray alone daily as if feel God within not necessarily "out there somewhere"....but having said that I now also enjoy going to church and singing in the choir! Man who would have thought.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by Hitman9926
Meaning no disrespect... step1 says "came to believe" implying a process and a "power greater than ourselves" . I throughly proved that my self-will and self reliance took me to the brink of an alcoholic death.
Far as the 3rd step prayer goes "it is desirable-aka preferred" ..to do it with someone... meeting Him alone to me says it's better to do so than not at all..
My own personal experience is that the man taking me thru the steps got down on his knees with me and we prayed together.
To me it was a prayer of surrender and a profound experience. Especially asking Him to relieve me from the "bondage of self" and self seeking,self reliance,twisted thinking etc. Yes I also pray alone daily as if feel God within not necessarily "out there somewhere"....but having said that I now also enjoy going to church and singing in the choir! Man who would have thought.
Far as the 3rd step prayer goes "it is desirable-aka preferred" ..to do it with someone... meeting Him alone to me says it's better to do so than not at all..
My own personal experience is that the man taking me thru the steps got down on his knees with me and we prayed together.
To me it was a prayer of surrender and a profound experience. Especially asking Him to relieve me from the "bondage of self" and self seeking,self reliance,twisted thinking etc. Yes I also pray alone daily as if feel God within not necessarily "out there somewhere"....but having said that I now also enjoy going to church and singing in the choir! Man who would have thought.
Step one just says we admitted we were powerless. Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern Pennsylvania
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by FlyerFan
You mean step 2 says that. Step one just says we admitted we were powerless.
Step one just says we admitted we were powerless. I work a hospital 3rd shift every other week and often around 3am I am pretty baked.
That being said I guess I was trying to make several points. Frist 3 steps...
#1- Ican't, #2 I think He can #3 I think I will let him. Pointed out to me that if Atheist or Agnostic one can think of it as "G.O.D "achronym for Group Of Drunks , or Universal Greater power...point being get "self" and "I" "me" out of the equation since my best efforts failed me miserably nd believe me I tried for Looong time.Gotta surrender! Rest of the steps "into action" are really to clean up the garbage and damage done byu me/the drunk so I can have a clearer path of communion with HP.
Not many "musts " in the BB mostly "suggestions". One of the few musts says .."selfishness,self-centeredness.We must be rid of it or it kills us".
Chapter to the agnostic is also good food for thought and meditation.
Cheers.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Courtenay BC Canada
Posts: 1
Interesting thread on step 3 prayer with sponsor
I'm with Hitman9926 on this one. When I asked a member to become my sponsor he came over to my house and we talked. When he agreed to sponsor me he said a couple of things:
a) That he would listen to me complain for a maximum of 10 minutes, and then we would work on solutions. b) At 9 months into sobriety he suggested that I had a basic understanding of Steps 1 & 2;It was time for me to "do" a 3rd Step with him. We got on our knees and holding hands we said the 3rd step prayer together, reading from BB. I had never prayed with anyone before like that, and it was an experience that really made an impression on me. c) After "doing" the 3rd Step he said he wanted me to start working on my 4th Step inventory. I did.
BTW: When we did my 5th step we repeated the same thing. It always seems like a good idea to me before a 5th step.
Now I am starting to sponsor a new member myself, really for the 1st time. I have a desire to repeat the method that my (1st) sponsor used on me. I am interested in the posting in this thread, as it hasn't really seemed like the right time to do it with the new fellow. I'm guessing we will know if and when we should do that.
a) That he would listen to me complain for a maximum of 10 minutes, and then we would work on solutions. b) At 9 months into sobriety he suggested that I had a basic understanding of Steps 1 & 2;It was time for me to "do" a 3rd Step with him. We got on our knees and holding hands we said the 3rd step prayer together, reading from BB. I had never prayed with anyone before like that, and it was an experience that really made an impression on me. c) After "doing" the 3rd Step he said he wanted me to start working on my 4th Step inventory. I did.
BTW: When we did my 5th step we repeated the same thing. It always seems like a good idea to me before a 5th step.
Now I am starting to sponsor a new member myself, really for the 1st time. I have a desire to repeat the method that my (1st) sponsor used on me. I am interested in the posting in this thread, as it hasn't really seemed like the right time to do it with the new fellow. I'm guessing we will know if and when we should do that.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
