I have a question about meetings
True strength lies within
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 117
I have a question about meetings
I am new to recovery ,, ( that is new to thinking i can do this on my own, which i know now after a hundred attempts that i cant.) . new as in 5 days sober, have a counsellor i will meet with once a week, and have gone through the first chapter of "Gentle Path,, through the Twelve Steps ( alot of self discovery going on there ) anyways. I know i "should be going to meetings" the thing is , i dont feel "ready" to go. Im making progress ,, so to speak, but i almost feel guilty or im failing somehow because i havnt made an effort. I have been very busy,, keeping my mind off the obvious, going to the gym, eating good, bike rides , and reflecting. Tomorrow i have a hour long course about relapse prevention, i feel i am making some good gains. When did any of you hit your first meeting?
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
I hit my first meeting while I was in in-patient detox, and continued after I got home. Lots of folks start going to meetings before they quit drinking, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Maribell 
When did any of you hit your first meeting?
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I’m not familiar with “the gentle path through the 12 steps” but the 12 steps are indeed the aa program, not the meetings. Meetings however can be quite helpful, so I would encourage you to go to just see what they are like. There is a good chance you might find them enjoyable as well. 
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
I had enough one day. I am busy, I work anywhere between 50-60 hours a week, workout, take dance lessons and then I hit 4 meetings a week. Meetings are where I do a kind of reflection and I love them. If you feel that way, could you be putting it off out of fear?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
Going to meetings and listening for the similarities rather than the differences goes against everything I am as a selfish, self-centered, fear-filled alcoholic; Going to meetings and listening to others' stories makes me feel like I am not so unique as I once believed; Going to meetings and hearing the adventures of other alcoholics before and after makes me start to wonder how they can be so full of peace and tolerance; Going to meetings and listening makes me begin to believe that if I do what they did, I might be able to get what they got. And I want what they have: Sobriety. They're not killing themselves or those around them.
Try it--what do you have to lose? If you don't like it after a few times, your misery will gladly be refunded you. You may just find that you can actually get better than just well, though...
Try it--what do you have to lose? If you don't like it after a few times, your misery will gladly be refunded you. You may just find that you can actually get better than just well, though...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 41
Meetings have really helped me stay sober. It helped that my sober brother accompanied me to my first AA meeting, but I admit I was still nervous. At the end of the meeting I knew I'd be back. I think many folks feel a little trepidation going to unfamiliar meetings, but I've always felt at home a minute into things.
In addition, I really recommend attending as many different meetings (as in different rooms, time slots, etc.) as you can squeeze into your schedule. It took me a few different groups to find the sweet spot for my sobriety. Though I still attend other groups, I always attend the meeting that speaks to me the most.
Go to a meeting -- what's to lose?
In addition, I really recommend attending as many different meetings (as in different rooms, time slots, etc.) as you can squeeze into your schedule. It took me a few different groups to find the sweet spot for my sobriety. Though I still attend other groups, I always attend the meeting that speaks to me the most.
Go to a meeting -- what's to lose?
True strength lies within
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 117
Originally Posted by skg
Going to meetings and listening for the similarities rather than the differences goes against everything I am as a selfish, self-centered, fear-filled alcoholic; Going to meetings and listening to others' stories makes me feel like I am not so unique as I once believed; Going to meetings and hearing the adventures of other alcoholics before and after makes me start to wonder how they can be so full of peace and tolerance; Going to meetings and listening makes me begin to believe that if I do what they did, I might be able to get what they got. And I want what they have: Sobriety. They're not killing themselves or those around them.
Try it--what do you have to lose? If you don't like it after a few times, your misery will gladly be refunded you. You may just find that you can actually get better than just well, though...
Try it--what do you have to lose? If you don't like it after a few times, your misery will gladly be refunded you. You may just find that you can actually get better than just well, though...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
Whatever.
Originally Posted by Maribell
That my friend is a little presumptuous and I take offense to that comment.
I come hear for support .NOT judgement
Good luck. Eventually you'll learn to cease fighting every thing and everybody. The trick is to do it while you're still alive.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pennsburg, Pa.
Posts: 389
You are right....whatever works ....7 years of sobriety equals 7 days, or 7 minutes . At 60 years of age, I have heard so many stories of success and failure in life, in recovery, out of "re-covery", that I don't even want to open up the book ! What matters, is if every day,
I open up the book and ask myself, "do I have love in my heart?" I gotta' lot of love to give yet....and it's my worst time of year.....this is when depression starts to settle in....September....it's like a clock....but I'm settling for it. It sucks, but it happens every year....I have to accept it.....I have no choice !
I open up the book and ask myself, "do I have love in my heart?" I gotta' lot of love to give yet....and it's my worst time of year.....this is when depression starts to settle in....September....it's like a clock....but I'm settling for it. It sucks, but it happens every year....I have to accept it.....I have no choice !
True strength lies within
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 117
Skg..believe me I'm fighting with every ounce of my being..as my cousellor said do whatever it takes.. And believe me I Am and I will. Everybody has different ways..what works for some ..doesn't work for others. I'm going to a meeting on Tue with a person I met from group.. Which is a blessing bec I don't think I can walk through those doors by myself at this point . I look forward to it and approach it with an open heart and mind. Who knows.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by skg
...that was truth and if you go to real meetings you'll hear truth. And it'll make you angry, it'll make you question everything...
*But first it will pi$$ you off and give you some big restentments.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
Choose to Use
Originally Posted by raku
You are right....whatever works ....7 years of sobriety equals 7 days, or 7 minutes .
Yes, there's a difference. The Newcomers have zero coping skills but know everything--except how to stay sober. When people told me I was going to have to change, "Just one thing: Everything!" I got angry, indignant, incredulous, rejected every personality that would say such a thing, and pouted. Until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
This board is a wonderful collection of opinions and endless discussions. When my life was on the line, I listened to the ones who'd done what I'd done and been where I'd been, and I grilled them on the hopes that if I did what they did I MIGHT JUST get what they got.
As usual, you're free to PM. Take what you want and leave the rest.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Maribell,
as it happens, i'm in Vancouver too
going to my first meeting, i was, i think, 11 days sober...yes, i was terrified. i'm not into hyperbole, so when i say terrified i mean terrified. but i knew i had to go just once, make myself walk into a room with strangers and thereby admitting to myself and others publicly what i knew to be true.
and at that time, i went to a LifeRing meeting, and i knew that labelling oneself an alcoholic or anything else is not part of LR "culture".
i was just going to make myself go one time, and then...guess what? i loved it!
went every week (no daily meetings). people sitting around talking about how their week is going, the challenges, the successes, what works for them/us, what doesn't.
when i started checking out AA meetings, it was about three years into sobriety...it's a whole different thing. yes, i had to go to many different ones before i found a couple i can "do". i find them all to be very different. the most "relaxed" and least dogmatic ones are the meetings at VGH. the most highly energetic "up" one is the Mon-Fri one at the Roundhouse. check out the Avalon Women's ones...different again.
due to time constraints my choices are limited, and yours might be, too, but there arte many many different meetings and options out there.
as it happens, i'm in Vancouver too
going to my first meeting, i was, i think, 11 days sober...yes, i was terrified. i'm not into hyperbole, so when i say terrified i mean terrified. but i knew i had to go just once, make myself walk into a room with strangers and thereby admitting to myself and others publicly what i knew to be true.
and at that time, i went to a LifeRing meeting, and i knew that labelling oneself an alcoholic or anything else is not part of LR "culture".
i was just going to make myself go one time, and then...guess what? i loved it!
went every week (no daily meetings). people sitting around talking about how their week is going, the challenges, the successes, what works for them/us, what doesn't.
when i started checking out AA meetings, it was about three years into sobriety...it's a whole different thing. yes, i had to go to many different ones before i found a couple i can "do". i find them all to be very different. the most "relaxed" and least dogmatic ones are the meetings at VGH. the most highly energetic "up" one is the Mon-Fri one at the Roundhouse. check out the Avalon Women's ones...different again.
due to time constraints my choices are limited, and yours might be, too, but there arte many many different meetings and options out there.
True strength lies within
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 117
Originally Posted by fini
Maribell,
as it happens, i'm in Vancouver too
going to my first meeting, i was, i think, 11 days sober...yes, i was terrified. i'm not into hyperbole, so when i say terrified i mean terrified. but i knew i had to go just once, make myself walk into a room with strangers and thereby admitting to myself and others publicly what i knew to be true.
and at that time, i went to a LifeRing meeting, and i knew that labelling oneself an alcoholic or anything else is not part of LR "culture".
i was just going to make myself go one time, and then...guess what? i loved it!
went every week (no daily meetings). people sitting around talking about how their week is going, the challenges, the successes, what works for them/us, what doesn't.
when i started checking out AA meetings, it was about three years into sobriety...it's a whole different thing. yes, i had to go to many different ones before i found a couple i can "do". i find them all to be very different. the most "relaxed" and least dogmatic ones are the meetings at VGH. the most highly energetic "up" one is the Mon-Fri one at the Roundhouse. check out the Avalon Women's ones...different again.
due to time constraints my choices are limited, and yours might be, too, but there arte many many different meetings and options out there.
as it happens, i'm in Vancouver too
going to my first meeting, i was, i think, 11 days sober...yes, i was terrified. i'm not into hyperbole, so when i say terrified i mean terrified. but i knew i had to go just once, make myself walk into a room with strangers and thereby admitting to myself and others publicly what i knew to be true.
and at that time, i went to a LifeRing meeting, and i knew that labelling oneself an alcoholic or anything else is not part of LR "culture".
i was just going to make myself go one time, and then...guess what? i loved it!
went every week (no daily meetings). people sitting around talking about how their week is going, the challenges, the successes, what works for them/us, what doesn't.
when i started checking out AA meetings, it was about three years into sobriety...it's a whole different thing. yes, i had to go to many different ones before i found a couple i can "do". i find them all to be very different. the most "relaxed" and least dogmatic ones are the meetings at VGH. the most highly energetic "up" one is the Mon-Fri one at the Roundhouse. check out the Avalon Women's ones...different again.
due to time constraints my choices are limited, and yours might be, too, but there arte many many different meetings and options out there.
ill let you know how it went . I'm in a rural area .. Pitt meadows. So Vancouver is a little far
True strength lies within
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 117
Originally Posted by skg
I hear this all the time, too, and it's not really true. At 7 years of sobriety, if practiced, a recovering person KNOWS what to do when they get sideways; they know what they've got to do to change their perception; they KNOW how to get out of selfish and self-centered behaviors that jeopardize their emotional and spiritual health. The question is whether they CHOOSE TO USE those tools, or something else, including their old friends and behaviors, for that day. The disease of addiction IS, in fact, cunning, baffling, and powerful. And I would add that it's patient, too.
Yes, there's a difference. The Newcomers have zero coping skills but know everything--except how to stay sober. When people told me I was going to have to change, "Just one thing: Everything!" I got angry, indignant, incredulous, rejected every personality that would say such a thing, and pouted. Until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
This board is a wonderful collection of opinions and endless discussions. When my life was on the line, I listened to the ones who'd done what I'd done and been where I'd been, and I grilled them on the hopes that if I did what they did I MIGHT JUST get what they got.
As usual, you're free to PM. Take what you want and leave the rest.
Yes, there's a difference. The Newcomers have zero coping skills but know everything--except how to stay sober. When people told me I was going to have to change, "Just one thing: Everything!" I got angry, indignant, incredulous, rejected every personality that would say such a thing, and pouted. Until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
This board is a wonderful collection of opinions and endless discussions. When my life was on the line, I listened to the ones who'd done what I'd done and been where I'd been, and I grilled them on the hopes that if I did what they did I MIGHT JUST get what they got.
As usual, you're free to PM. Take what you want and leave the rest.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
Marinell, sorry if you're taking some of the posts the wrong way. Honestly, I truly believe everyone here wants to help, although it may not always come off that way.
I went to my first meeting when I was 5 days sober. I thought id go to one meeting and see what it was all about. I was very very welcomed (we love newcomers!) so I kept going. I was so beat down and broken that I just decided to do whatever anyone told me to do if it made any kind of sense to me. I'd had enough of my own thinking.
Others I've come to know say they came to AA kicking and screaming, but gradually did the program and now have years of sobriety.
The AA group that I consider my home group is irreverent and funny but deadly serious about sobriety. It's also a very positive group--no drunkologues, no whining, lots of swearing tho. My sponsor is one of the most amazing women I've ever met, and has become a dear friend.
AA may not be for everyone, but I see it working for all kinds of people. I say, give it a try, just sit and listen and drink some coffee and see if what anyone says resonates with you. Good luck!
I went to my first meeting when I was 5 days sober. I thought id go to one meeting and see what it was all about. I was very very welcomed (we love newcomers!) so I kept going. I was so beat down and broken that I just decided to do whatever anyone told me to do if it made any kind of sense to me. I'd had enough of my own thinking.
Others I've come to know say they came to AA kicking and screaming, but gradually did the program and now have years of sobriety.
The AA group that I consider my home group is irreverent and funny but deadly serious about sobriety. It's also a very positive group--no drunkologues, no whining, lots of swearing tho. My sponsor is one of the most amazing women I've ever met, and has become a dear friend.
AA may not be for everyone, but I see it working for all kinds of people. I say, give it a try, just sit and listen and drink some coffee and see if what anyone says resonates with you. Good luck!
True strength lies within
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 117
Thank you sobersunshine for your positive thoughts .. I take your advice to heart .. And yes I am going to give it another go.. Because "I" want to .. Not because some people believe that there is no salvation without aa I believe in a higher power and always have.. Believe me there are times here that higher power has intervened .. I truly believe and trust that to guide me .. For this I know .. I "am" completely powerless .. Which a this point is good .
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Well done for getting through a few days already!
Great start!
I say do everything!
One thing I was thinking while reading your thread, is, "I wish I kept a journal!".
I can't remember much about my first meeting (this time around, went before in NYC and quit when I was "cured"!!)
. I remember it was all men and I even asked if it was "men only".
It wasn't. They even found a woman for me!
Anyway, I went sometime around August 15th and had my last drink October 21st.
I had been to a great therapist for years in NYC but It wasn't enough.
I think the best thing I learned in AA and here in SR (which? both?).
HALT
Do not get,
Hungry,
Angry,
Lonely,
Tired.
So simple, so helpful.
Best of luck Maribell.
Great start!
I say do everything!
One thing I was thinking while reading your thread, is, "I wish I kept a journal!".
I can't remember much about my first meeting (this time around, went before in NYC and quit when I was "cured"!!)
. I remember it was all men and I even asked if it was "men only".
It wasn't. They even found a woman for me!
Anyway, I went sometime around August 15th and had my last drink October 21st.
I had been to a great therapist for years in NYC but It wasn't enough.
I think the best thing I learned in AA and here in SR (which? both?).
HALT
Do not get,
Hungry,
Angry,
Lonely,
Tired.
So simple, so helpful.
Best of luck Maribell.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Sobersunshine
Others I've come to know say they came to AA kicking and screaming, but gradually did the program and now have years of sobriety.
Looking back at my recovery history, it was the things that were uncomfortable that helped me the most.
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