These are the 12 steps as outlined in the book The Twelve Step Journal, by Claudette Wassil-Grimm, M.Ed..

1 We admitted we were powerless over our addiction/compulsion - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2 We came to believe that, like all human beings, our power was limited and we needed to learn to let go and learn from others.
3 We made a decision to let go of control, assume a spirit of goodwill, seek the wisdom of responsible others, and discover our true "voice within".
4 We made a searching and fearless inventory of our strengths and weaknesses.
5 We admitted to our journal, ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6 Were entirely ready to listen to wise counsel and seek that still small voice within to guide us to change our behaviors which have been harmful to ourselves and others.
7 Humbly began the process of deep change so we could overcome our weakness.
8 Made a list of all persons we have harmed, became willing to make amends to them all, and to forgive those against whom we have held grudges.
9 We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so whould injure them or others.
10 Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11 Through meditation and journaling we continually seek to clarify and improve our own judgment and to consider the best direction and purpose our lives can take.
12 Having developed deeper wisdom and an appreciation of the spiritual as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

This is fascinating because we are coming from opposite sides and yet we are on the same path and working towards the same goal! While I've chosen to follow the original 12-steps, i have tweaked them along the way and they are now somewhat similar to the 12-step journal.

For me, it's precisely in trying to conform to things (as they appear) all my life is what created the sense of separation (and pulled me deeper into my DOC). It's with my recovery journey that I've come to understand that I can choose to create a life that works for me; slightly tweaking the steps (while retaining their basic essence) is how I use them in my own personal way. It actually helps me not feel separate anymore. To quote Paul: "I in effect commit myself to make common ground with all the other people who use the steps in their own personal way."

Your comments help me understand that in fact, the journey is a very intimate and personal one, unique to each individual based on his/her life experiences, but despite that uniqueness, we can have still shared commonalities and goals and more importantly, learn from each other! Good life lesson. Thanks!

just a ditto...expressed much better than i could the literature talks about how we are no longer square pegs trying to fit in round holes...i stoped cutting peices of me off to fit the hole and realized there are plently of places for square pegs in the program it isn't about doggedly tyring to hold on to "my way" and more about allowing myself to have a valid and authentic expereince of the steps without being tied down to the form so much i don't expreence the essence.