stone

Nice slogan fo ya there Windy, lol.

Bamboozle

Maybe they feel more accountable for their actions because they have people to report back to?

I don't know...


I do have self-motivation...but sometimes it's lacking. It's stupid, but now I feel like I need to be accountable to my doctor. I keep setting little goals, like...I need to stay sober until my next appointment. Once I reach that goal, I set a new goal (without a celebratory drink) for the next appointment. It's all I can do for right now...it gives me something to shoot for (and besides, I'm only thinking about AT MOST a handful of weeks into the future at a time).

I'm hoping that eventually I won't feel the need to do that and everything else will fall into place. Maybe I'm just fooling myself.

I'm still early in sobriety (for the umpteenth time!).

Rob B

They Don't.

Rob B

I should have added this is my personal observation and opinion supported by the experience of sitting in well over a thousand meetings.

stone

LOL, that's what I thought. But why then, do some people go to 7+ meetings a week? Something to do?

Dee74

face to face support? feeling of community? feeling of safety? lessening of anxiety?

I don't go to meetings, as you know, but these things are pretty understandable to me.

whether of not they keep someone sober I dunno - seems to work for some.
None of my business really LOL

D

stone

Yea, what would you know. You have never been to one! LOL

doorknob

I've been to a few. Meetings are where the assimilation takes place...

stone

lol

stone

But seriously, yes they do have those things, it is just that those things wouldn't be enough to keep me sober.

I do like the meeting I go to though, it gets me out of the house and meeting people which is good.

bugsworth

Seems to me Dee hit the nail on the head regarding why many people attend aa. No need to attend meetings to understand the concept.

I haven't attended thousands of meetings but I did a couple hundred and I agree with Rob meetings don't keep people sober. I saw many people who were in aa for years keep picking up white chips. The problem...they wouldn't stop drinking.

I remember one guy in particular shared after he picked up his white chip that he had been in aa for 20 years...he joked about it...then spouted off the usual "I took my will back"...."I stopped going to meetings"....I wanted to scream no what you did was decided to put alcohol in your body.

For me sobriety comes down to personal responsibility...There came a time in my life when I realized that the only thing standing between me and a normal life was my poor choices. I took back my power, put my big girl pants on and dug myself out of the hole I was in.

Simple one step program...it works if you work it!

AnthonyV

To quote President Obama: "in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."

I'm not trying to inject politics, but rather inspirational words from an inspirational leader. I value the spirit of community, in the respect that it inspires each of us to reach for full potential. I see the potential for that with the community of AA, but have not fully realized it within the 100's of meetings I attended over course of about 12-15 years. But ultimately the responsibility of our lives is up to each of us, individually. That doesn't absolve any of us of our obligation to help each other or to shy us from relying upon each other for a shoulder to lean on when we need it, but at the end of the day the only one responsible for keeping me sober is the one who is looking me in the eye when I stare at myself in the mirror.

Rob B

As most of you know, I am an AA guy. However, I have an open mind and would be the first to say AA is not the only way.

There are two schools of thought regarding alcoholism.

School one: Alcoholics have no choice in drinking, a spiritual awakening is required to remain sober.(these would be the 12 steps)

School two: Drinking is a choice, the solution is will power and group support.

Maybe both schools are right in certain situations depending on the individual. I have seen proof that both ways work. I would never tell someone what school they need to attend. I can share what worked with me, and how I got it. Where I get irked is when folks who support one school show up at another school and want to rewrite the curriculum

Personally, I think the danger lies in making blanket statements regarding which school an individual should attend.

I know some men who need a spiritual awakening or they will probably die, others need a good therapist. I think it best to offer only our experience and not try to ässimilate anyone to any doctrine.

As I have said in previous posts on this forum, I respect sobriety, mine and yours, I saw this thread as something I might be able to contribute to in a positive manner.

Dee74

I agree with you Rob.

All I can do, you can do, all anyone can do, is share our experience - and the attitudes thoughts and opinions borne of that experience.

We can all fall prey to neighbour watching, but what someone else is doing, or has done, or not done, is not really a useful topic for discussion IMO.

My way's been pretty idiosyncratic - it's worked for me, but I'd never suggest it for anyone else.
I will always share my story tho, and my opinions, if anyone finds some use in them LOL.

D

Zencat

Personal responsibility, choice...and also for me: understanding, accountability and a complete treatment plan that leads to healthy thinking and behaving.

I'm learning why I make the choices I make (understanding/responsibility). I get a feeling of being accountable to my GF, family and the sober friends I have made. They all know enough about my addiction that if I start using again I get the 'love from a distance' deal ( that sucks). And continued treatment for my duel disorder. I guess a lot of the same stuff one gets from AA can be found elsewhere.

stone

Thanks Rob, I think I belong to the spiritual awakening group. I don't want to change AA but I did have to interpret the "God part" of the steps in my own way, I suppose everyone does this to some extent.

I don't think I could do it on willpower and group support, if drinking or not drinking was just a choice....that doesn't sound like alcoholism to me. The only way I could conceive of it seeming like a choice is if the person has really had enough, has hit their personal bottom.
I get the impression many people come into AA like that, they stop drinking immediately without any steps or awakening. They use the steps to help them in their sobriety not to stop drinking. I had to use them to stop drinking...with my drinking there was no choice involved. That is how it felt anyway.

digderidoo

Wow, there's been some comments on here overnight.

Many good points, i think AA in itself is a personal choice, it has worked for me in the early stages of my sobriety and i am really grateful for what AA has done for me. I do not want to sound as if AA doesn't help, it does and has.

But i think for me the AA is not the only choice. After attending AA now for over a year i have come to a decision that AA has it's place, but people do maintain their sobriety using other methods too, which tends to go against the AA grain.

Someone mentoined here that it is a fear based recovery, i think that hits the nail on the head. I have been told on many occasions that not attending the meetings means that i will start drinking again. If i do not start drinking again then that means that i am not a 'real alcoholic', BS, i am alcoholic through and through.

I guess though as someone else said here that i do still use AA, i do read the big book, i do revert to the steps at times, i think step 1 is massive for any alcoholic, steps relating to resentment are useful too. It's mainly the meetings that do get to me and also when some AA members tell me that i should be attending to maintain my sobriety. The spiritual aspect to it, although i can see gives a peace of mind, i do not see how that has anything to do with sobriety.

I have also come to the conclusion that many in AA, though not all, tend to not move on from just meeting attendence and tend to replace the drink with the meetings. I think there is more to life than AA.

AA has lifted me from the drunk that i was, for anyone with an alcohol obsession in my opinion needs AA, i certainly did. But there comes a point where for me, AA or in particular the meetings do not help like they used to.

Paul

Taking5

Yeah, I agree totally. I got that "maybe you aren't really an alcoholic" line once and my response was that my Dr. sure as hell disagrees with you.

stone

AA defines being a real alcoholic as needing AA, if you don't need AA you aren't a real alcoholic. It is that type of thing that turns people off AA.

I am of the same frame of mind as you Didge, AA is fine, the steps are a pretty good tool, meetings can be a drag and fear based recovery is not the recovery I want.

Growing out of meetings seems healthy to me. I am happy with my one a week but I don't go to keep myself sober, I go to socialise with recovering alkies, I do like recovering alkies.
And just getting out of the house and socialising does help my recovery, anything positve that I do helps my recovery.

stone

I came across some quotes that fit here I think...

A man has free choice to the extent that he is rational.
~Saint Thomas Aquinas

Which i think sums up the thing about choice that has been mentioned.

Beware of the person of one book.
~Saint Thomas Aquinas

Speaks for itself.