First year of marriage... I need help
I found this forum on Google.. so I'm completely new here...
Me and my husband will be married for a year in September. I had over a year and he had almost a year when we met. I will have 3 years in February. We're struggling hard. When I met him (at a narcan training) I knew it. I 100% knew that I would be with that man. I took my program very seriously and stayed out of a relationship during my first year and more because I have a son and the relationship between me and his real father was so unhealthy and codependent.. so I brought a little boy into this relationship and he has a daughter who he is still rebuilding a relationship with again. We are struggling hard right now in our marriage. I have a childhood that contains divorce and messy relationships. I've never seen a healthy loving companionship.. every man that came into my life has left. (Dad in and out drinking, step dad who left time and time again, step mother who treated me like dirt) and all of those relationships have ended. I've seen 4 divorces between my parents growing up. So I'm really good at building walls, shutting down, and preparing myself not to get hurt. My husband grew up in a crappy home too and was always told he wasn't good enough. I need your help.. I need people who don't know me and can tell me how it is..he's not living at home at the moment and I feel like he's shutting down and I'm opening up.. what do we do??
Marriage counseling is in the works it's just not happening as quickly as I'd like. Can someone who has gone through this give me some insight on marriage/relationships with two recovering alcoholics/addicts in recovery??