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Old 12-02-2016, 10:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: lodi NJ
Posts: 1

Relationship - Need Experience - Dilemma


Hello All,

I would like to get some experience on a situation that I am in.

So first off I have been in recovery since 8-10-2008. I primarily go to AA, Have a home group sponsor, and have gone through the steps with sponsor and couple of sponses. My sponsor and sponses know everything. I have sponken to my sponser and other members at my home group about this, but would like to get more experience.

I meet a girl in AA we hit it off. She was attempting the steps got to step 4 and stopped but wanted to stay sober. Then after a year being together we moved in together. Things were awesome. Then she stopping going to meetings. 2 years 3month of being together she tells me that she is not an alcoholic and that she ended up in AA of circumstance or one bad night that got her a DWI. She said she just wants to have a glass or 2 of wine with her coworkers.

I of course I don't want her to drink, we shared alot of our past experience with alcohol and drugs. Any way she is drinking, she doesn't drink in the apartment, but once or twice a week she hangs at with co worker girlfriend and they drink. She is not hiding it from me. Maybe she is not an alcoholic, but all I know is there is a major shift in overall personality. She would wake up in the middle of the night and goes to the front door to go out side tells me she is going to the bathroom. I tell her that is not the bathroom, and then she goes to the correct place where the bathroom is. Blackouts are happening. And seeing this with a sober mind is freaking scary.

I know what I am and drinking is not what I want. I am an alcoholic. Sobriety is #1 for me. Am not afraid of alcohol I respect alcohol and my illness of alcoholism.

Here is the Dilemma

I do care for this girl, I love her.

If stay in the relationship I will be tested, and fear is creeping in that either she will get hurt or I will get hurt. It could get very bad quick.

If I leave I will be hurt emotionally but will be saved from the trials and tribulation, but she will not have a place to live, and may end up drinking more and be worse off. She does not have the money to afford a place on her own. She does work full time. There has been great amount of stress and politics at her job. Which I understand. But drinking is not the answer.

In one way I do not want to be enabling and cosigning the ********, but on the other hand I don't want to see her lose everything.

Anyone been in similar situation?
Please let me know what happened. Share your experience. Please do not give advice and opinions. Experience is most valuable.
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