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Old 04-23-2019, 03:03 AM   #321 (permalink)
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Emotional support killer whales

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTIcQMwYC1o
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Old 04-23-2019, 04:29 AM   #322 (permalink)
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Did you know that Orcas aka Killer Whales are actually dolphins?

How did I, the great nature lover of the north, discover this? My 5 YEAR OLD great nephew informed me...and he was correct, dang it.

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Live your joy,
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Don’t be made timid by worried rejection.
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Let the world’s mystical heritage guide you.
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Old 04-23-2019, 12:31 PM   #323 (permalink)
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MAN RULES

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
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Old 04-23-2019, 03:16 PM   #324 (permalink)
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Except old Chric C. thought he had ended up in India.....

Females never forget- the date,time, place of THAT comment which was in no way intended to offend...such comments remembered l,ike cheese matures over time.
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Old 04-23-2019, 03:20 PM   #325 (permalink)
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^^^

Now THAT's funny!

Oh? You were serious?

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Let nature’s curious wisdom fill you.
Let the world’s mystical heritage guide you.
Paint your canvasses,
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Old 04-23-2019, 04:46 PM   #326 (permalink)
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Live your joy,
Go against the grain.
Don’t be made timid by worried rejection.
Let nature’s curious wisdom fill you.
Let the world’s mystical heritage guide you.
Paint your canvasses,
play your tunes.
~Thomas Moore
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Old 04-23-2019, 09:02 PM   #327 (permalink)
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"There is a crack in everything
thats how the light gets in "

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sober date 8th January 2019
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Old 04-24-2019, 02:18 PM   #328 (permalink)
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"There is a crack in everything
thats how the light gets in "

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sober date 8th January 2019
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Old 04-25-2019, 04:20 AM   #329 (permalink)
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the eagles have 2 babies!
https://www.arconic.com/eaglecam/
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Old 04-25-2019, 03:22 PM   #330 (permalink)
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"There is a crack in everything
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Leonard Cohen.

sober date 8th January 2019
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Old 04-25-2019, 04:08 PM   #331 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
the eagles have 2 babies!
https://www.arconic.com/eaglecam/
Awww, I love babies.

LOL, Aussie.
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Live your joy,
Go against the grain.
Don’t be made timid by worried rejection.
Let nature’s curious wisdom fill you.
Let the world’s mystical heritage guide you.
Paint your canvasses,
play your tunes.
~Thomas Moore
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Old 04-27-2019, 12:42 PM   #332 (permalink)
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Old 04-27-2019, 12:43 PM   #333 (permalink)
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Old 04-27-2019, 12:45 PM   #334 (permalink)
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Old 04-27-2019, 12:47 PM   #335 (permalink)
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Old 04-27-2019, 02:17 PM   #336 (permalink)
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Suki!!
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Live your joy,
Go against the grain.
Don’t be made timid by worried rejection.
Let nature’s curious wisdom fill you.
Let the world’s mystical heritage guide you.
Paint your canvasses,
play your tunes.
~Thomas Moore
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Old 04-28-2019, 04:39 AM   #337 (permalink)
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Quote:
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I mean, I had one or two of these dogs, and yes, they herd everyone....beware the wearer of fluffy slippers.
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"It may be raining, but there's a rainbow above you..." The Eagles, Desperado
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Old 04-28-2019, 12:33 PM   #338 (permalink)
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Today’s Lesson

Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
Student: “Eggs!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
Student: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Student: “Homework!
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Old 04-28-2019, 12:34 PM   #339 (permalink)
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A Typo

One silly typo can destroy your life!

A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and didn’t realize he was missing an ‘e’ at the end of a word…

“I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her”

In reply, she sent the divorce papers
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Old 04-28-2019, 12:35 PM   #340 (permalink)
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Mean Old Man

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone’s relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, “Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?” The wife put down her drink and said, “Let him dig. I had him buried upside down and I know he won’t stop and ask for directions!”
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