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Old 09-12-2017, 06:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
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The Lighter Side ~ Part 22


New Thread Continues From Here.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6603060
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Old 09-12-2017, 07:07 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 09-12-2017, 07:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Thanks for the new thread, Opi. You're the best!!!

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Old 09-12-2017, 07:29 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 09-12-2017, 07:29 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Second Marriage
A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage she was approached by a friend who laughingly remarked, “I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?”

“Oh, not any more, he doesn’t,” the widow replied.

“What stopped him?”

“I started talking about my next husband.”
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Old 09-12-2017, 07:32 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Prison Jokes
A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, “Number twelve!” The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, “Number four!” Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what’s going on. “Well,” says the older prisoner, “we’ve all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke.”

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, “Number twenty-nine!” This time the whole cell block rocks with the loudest laughter, prisoners rolling on the floor laughing hysterically.

When the guffaws die down, the bewildered new guy turns to the older prisoner and asks, “How come you guys were laughing so hard this time?”

“Oh,” says the older man wiping tears from his eyes, “we’d never heard that one before.”
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Old 09-12-2017, 08:44 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Omg! A duck-banana!
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Old 09-12-2017, 10:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Phoenix.....actually, I see it as a banana duck.......
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Old 09-12-2017, 11:29 AM   #9 (permalink)
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But is the banana duck half empty or half full?
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Old 09-12-2017, 02:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by honeypig View Post
But is the banana duck half empty or half full?
and if its half empty, what is it half empty of?
if its half full, whats it half full of???








my brain hurts now.
that was easy to do.
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Old 09-12-2017, 02:10 PM   #11 (permalink)
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And for Suki....




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Old 09-12-2017, 03:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
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The panda needs a bigger basket or a smaller butt!
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Old 09-12-2017, 06:38 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Old 09-12-2017, 06:55 PM   #14 (permalink)
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So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key.
- The Eagles

"We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words."
- Anna Sewell
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Old 09-12-2017, 07:32 PM   #15 (permalink)
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So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key.
- The Eagles

"We call them dumb animals, and so they are, for they cannot tell us how they feel, but they do not suffer less because they have no words."
- Anna Sewell
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Old 09-13-2017, 07:46 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Old 09-13-2017, 07:51 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Old 09-14-2017, 05:47 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Opivotal....those rules are very accurate....and, I know that tomsteve is going to agree.
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Old 09-14-2017, 07:22 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Old 09-14-2017, 08:37 AM   #20 (permalink)
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My boss arrived at work in a brand new Lamborghini. I said "wow, that's an amazing car!" He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in and strive for excellence I shall get another one next year"
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