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Old 01-24-2019, 03:24 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Are you familiar with Time Perspective Theory? There are different “time zones” (past nostalgic/ positive, past negative, present, present hedonistic, present fatalistic, future, transcendental future).

Most people are a mix, but with addiction, a person tends to be locked into present fatalistic (nothing changes, so why bother) & present hedonistic (sensation/ pleasure seeking, without thinking through consequences).

It can be weird at first, when newly sober / abstinent, when there’s a shift in the thinking; starting to think about the future & taking what might happen later into account.

Anyways, here’s a test, kind of cool to see where a person lies on the different time perspectives:

http://www.thetimeparadox.com/zimbar...ive-inventory/

Congrats on your 40 days!
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Old 02-09-2019, 10:39 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Dear soberFitness, Hi.

If I am reading you properly, and I do not wish in any way wish to interfere with the advice you have been given initially, but for me I could never have coped with the thought of staying sober from then on and forever.
I could only cope with each day as it dawned, even that was hard for me at the beginning of gaining sobriety.
It was the only way I could handle my future sobriety.

So what am I saying...I would just like to say, I wish you all the very best as you come to terms with the original instructions, the help, the advice that has been offered to you, and the comments in here.

Be strong, stick with it, never give up, fight the good fight>>>>
you are worth the effort.

Best wishes.
weewillie.
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Last edited by weewillie; 02-09-2019 at 10:51 PM. Reason: Error :(
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Old 02-10-2019, 02:41 AM   #23 (permalink)
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The above is a very AA perspective, I believe. If you're going for AVRT, I found it very easy to make the commitment not to drink or drug ever again, as spending a modest amount of time in sobriety was far better than the years I'd spent drinking, even when drinking was social and casual.

I'm done. It's done. I have no reason why I'd ever drink again. It doesn't work for me, it's not all that pleasurable.
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Old 02-10-2019, 09:17 AM   #24 (permalink)
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I think the only way to quit is to quit for good, forever, never again. Other wise I'm just planning to stop with the option of drinking again.

I'm done , I won't drink ever again even though I'm sure it would be pleasurable that first sip of relapse would be yummy.
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Old 02-11-2019, 04:28 AM   #25 (permalink)
No Matter What.
 
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Quitting for good is also the best way to expose the AV.

It stands out so clearly in opposition to the Big Plan of never drinking again. Anyone who's truly addicted will be able to make that distinction between the you who wants out, and the other you who wants to drink forever and damn the consequences. It was like a light bulb moment for me. Clearly seeing my dualistic internal struggle and finally "hearing" the voice for what IT was, not really ME.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:28 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
=MindfulMan;7120484]The above is a very AA perspective, I believe.
Hi there mindful man, your observation is abosolutely correct, my words are from an AA perspective, my sobriety was gained by attending AA.

I was however, at pains to point out to soberFitness....

1
I wish you all the very best as you come to terms with the original instructions (you received) in gaining sobriety, the help, the advice that has been offered to you.
2
and the comments in here. (the member's replies prior to mine)

My fault.
In order to be understood more clearly, I will try to be more specific in any future posts however, if any member refers to an AA topic I feel deserves a comment, I trust I will not be condemned for doing so.

I have no wish or enthusiasm to push anyone into AA thinking...that would be so wrong.
We all, have\had our own chosen path in achieving sobriety, quite rightly so. I am sure we all would agree that is the most important aspect.
Warm regards.

God bless.
weewillie
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On those occasions, adoptive positivity very often calms the undecided mind.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:46 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weewillie View Post
Hi there mindful man, your observation is abosolutely correct, my words are from an AA perspective, my sobriety was gained by attending AA.

I was however, at pains to point out to soberFitness....

1
I wish you all the very best as you come to terms with the original instructions (you received) in gaining sobriety, the help, the advice that has been offered to you.
2
and the comments in here. (the member's replies prior to mine)

My fault.
In order to be understood more clearly, I will try to be more specific in any future posts however, if any member refers to an AA topic I feel deserves a comment, I trust I will not be condemned for doing so.

I have no wish or enthusiasm to push anyone into AA thinking...that would be so wrong.
We all, have\had our own chosen path in achieving sobriety, quite rightly so. I am sure we all would agree that is the most important aspect.
Warm regards.

God bless.
weewillie
Sorry WeeWillie. I have nothing against any recovery method that works. 12 Step works for millions. No judgement or condemnation.

I was just pointing this out that your post (and quite a few above it) are from an AA perspective. This is an AVRT-based forum and the OP was speaking from within AVRT. Nothing wrong with having opinions based on your recovery method of choice, I was merely pointing this out to the OP and other forum readers.

I use a mixed approach, and Step 1 remains a cornerstone in my recovery. But I'm also with the permanent abstinence perspective, the disease perspective, one-day-at-a-time, and regular meetings don't work for me, they keep me in an addictive place. Saying I'm done works far better for me, and SR is definitely part of my sobriety as well.

The two methods may seem mutually exclusive, but one of my favorite authors said that it was the sign of an intelligent mind to be able to hold two contradictory thoughts/ideas at the same time, and I agree.

That's ME. To each their own.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
I think the only way to quit is to quit for good, forever, never again. Other wise I'm just planning to stop with the option of drinking again.

I'm done , I won't drink ever again even though I'm sure it would be pleasurable that first sip of relapse would be yummy.
I agree with you mostly. But I don't agree that the first sip of relapse would be yummy. To me even that first sip would be distasteful. "How good it was" and "how good it'll be" is fiction written by the AV. If I look at it objectively, even a small alcohol (or coke or whatever) buzz is not that good or pleasurable.
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Old 02-11-2019, 04:25 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
If I look at it objectively, even a small alcohol (or coke or whatever) buzz is not that good or pleasurable.
Indeed. That ship sailed a very long time ago.
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Old 02-11-2019, 05:22 PM   #29 (permalink)
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I appreciate your quick reply MindfulMan, thank you.

I have to admit I did not realize this is an AVRT-based forum.
A case of not reading Dear Sirs to Yours Truly.

I have very speedily fallen into the habit of reading the content rather than the, heading first.

Put it down to new member enthusiasm, I guess.

Thank you again.

weewillie.
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The reader of the written word may, on occasion, be unable to determine the attitude adopted by the writer of the written word.
On those occasions, adoptive positivity very often calms the undecided mind.
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Old 02-11-2019, 07:32 PM   #30 (permalink)
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I’m pretty sure we’d all agree , in this little corner of the inter webs at least, that quitting is the cure
Intoxication in and of itself was always deeply pleasurable for me, living as person that valued experiencing intoxication above all else was erosive of mind, body and soul. The price was devastatingly too high, the ‘yumminess’ is surely not worth it.

But I can certainly imagine an almost guttural “ahh” upon sipping a glass of bourbon neat, but no matter what means just that, yeah? And even that imagined ahh isn’t worth it , only my AV thinks otherwise.

Can I survive living with a forever un-indulged desire , hell yeah , quite well as a matter of fact
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Old 02-12-2019, 03:27 AM   #31 (permalink)
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At Christmas everyone was drinking these beers and going on about how good it was, so I smelled it, and a little voice said, "Have a taste, it's not drinking if all you are doing is seeing what it tastes like....." Hee hee hee yes it is. I knew exactly what it was going to taste like, and I knew I was going to like it.
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