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Old 12-11-2018, 03:40 PM
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HFA
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42

Days. I think you are not supposed to count after stopping forever, I mean how can one keep counting forever.
But its been 41 days since I have feed IT and man is it pulling and shaking the cage and making some noise.
IT feels that 41 days is enough, ive proven my point. I tell IT to shut up and never, but IT just keeps on and on. Like the spoiled brat it is.
IT keeps taunting me with the fact that I will be alone in a hotel by myself in Feb. I keep telling it shut up and never.
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Old 12-12-2018, 12:12 AM
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Hi HFA,

42 days is fantastic!! It's still pretty early though. It took longer than 42 days for my AV to quiet down and for the obsession about how I wasn't drinking to go away. One thing that helped me was switching my attitude around, instead of feeling deprived I decided to feel excited about my new life without all that old baggage dragging me down. Attitude is a small thing that goes a long way and it is the one thing you always have 100% control over. You've got this thing coming up in Feb, how about planning something fun and indulgent that doesn't in any way involve alcohol? I think about quitting drinking as addition through subtraction. I took away that one thing and literally all kind of other things opened up for me. It's the AV that always brings everything back to drinking as the end all, be all, but that's rubbish.

Keep going! You are doing great!

Remember, no matter what, means exactly that. No matter where you are or what is going on internally or externally, drinking is never an option.
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Old 12-12-2018, 05:11 AM
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"Remember, no matter what, means exactly that. No matter where you are or what is going on internally or externally, drinking is never an option. "
^that

And that frustrates your Beast to no end, yeah? Just realize that frustration and the 'feeling' of it is ITs, the AV is saying that feeling is yours and You need to own it. That feeling is not Yours and you are free to ignore it.

You don't/can't do anything to 'make it stop', we can't control random thoughts from occurring, but we always have control over the actions we decide to take about whatever feelings we have , yeah ?

When You feel ITs frustration as loud as it may be, sit with it and say "ok I feel You, now take my left hand and sign ( ASL) the Gettysburg Address, or even just wiggle My pinkie finger", It can't , it is all just bluster.

Your AV is letting you smuggle in the the idea that 'in the future' 'under some specific circumstance ' , IT will have the ability to move Your hands and elbows and make You swallow more booze, IT will have the power to make You decide to have more booze.

It can't wiggle your finger today, IT can't Make You do anything You don't want today or in February.

The Desire, the Beast never dies nor will Its frustration of never again being indulged, the AV wants you to think that in and of itself is important, too bad for IT , it isn't.

IT is an impotent little parasite and the illusion of IT having any power other than what You give is seriously fractured, break it all the way by accepting the idea that its desire and frustration is actually a trivial thing, IT will never agree , but so what , yeah ?

AV is any thought , feeling or image & any doubt in Your ability to remain abstinent, ignore the desire and the doubt.

Recognize it, separate from it , assign that frustration to the frustrated little parasite and realize Your control of Your actions is sacrosanct, and the doubt that isn't now the case and will always be the case is an illusion, smash it , laugh in its face.

The rattling only 'works' if You say it does, and You say it doesn't , yeah ?

Congratulations on Your decision of forty some days ago! I(we) know what kind of feat that really is, don't talk yourself out if it , especially if the talking points are coming from some little pathetic craven little parasite.

YOU got this, rootin for ya !
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Old 12-12-2018, 06:10 PM
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I want to thank both of you for your insightful and thoughtful post. It helped me a lot. IT not so much, LOL
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Old 12-12-2018, 06:40 PM
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Way to go HFA!!!
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Old 12-17-2018, 07:48 AM
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How's it going HFA?

Algo was good at describing the AV tactic you are describing about some future event where you may not be "safe". I remember when I quit I had a wedding coming that my Beast obsessed over, it was inconceivable that I would go to my best friends wedding and not tie one on! It was lousy too because it was supposed to be about her and my AV made it all about ITs deprivation. The obsession was very real back then, but I didn't drink, and I learned that all that head noise was just smoke and mirrors..... paper tigers.

It will always be right now, so there is no need to worry about some future time because once you get there you will experience it as right now and right now you are in control and you never drink. My AV used time against me a lot, the future, and the past, IT would hold up my past failures as proof of why I wouldn't be able to abstain forever. I had to learn to ignore that voice and trust myself again, no small feat when I'd been trying and failing at quitting drinking for a decade. But that's what I had to do, trust myself that no matter where I went, or what I did, or how I felt, that I was capable of not drinking. Any doubt in your capability now or in the future is AV and you can feel free to ignore those thoughts. AVRT is quitting with an attitude!

This was my quitting song. Cheesy but hey I'm a cheeseball!

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Old 12-22-2018, 10:41 AM
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I don't have true cravings at this point, ,as it's been over a year and a half. I think it's good to understand what triggers them, but basically I learned to acknowledge the cravings and basically say...'so?'....'and?' They exist, but have no real power unless you allow them to. You've decided that you don't drink, the craving is just s spoiled child.

100% agree with Billie Jean that recognizing the positive things that come with sobriety is key to maintaining it. How good do you feel? How much better of a person are you to other? What's the day-to-day feeling of being present? At this point in my sobriety, if I'm honest with myself and imagine the feeling of being intoxicated it really doesn't appeal at all. Why do I want to feel THAT way when I can feel THIS way? Sloppy drunk (or worse) and embarrassing at a wedding, or joyfully being present for the ceremony and reception?
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Old 12-24-2018, 07:41 AM
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Thanks all. Still here, and of course, still not drinking. Ever.
I appreciate all the well thought out advice. Just chugging along and getting ready for the holidays. Happy save and sober holidays to all!
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Old 12-24-2018, 09:01 AM
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Fantastic HFA! So glad to hear it. Congratulations on your new freedom, and happy holidays.
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