AVRT Explained (long)

Thread Tools
 
Old 03-29-2015, 01:21 PM
  # 121 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: uk
Posts: 27
Thnks Eternal Liberty,

Sorry it's taken a while to reply,

I can't speak for anyone else, but I needed some additional support.

I've found SMART a lot of help, particularly the online meetings.

If you're struggling, I'd recommend checking it out.
AnotherLife is offline  
Old 04-13-2015, 03:18 AM
  # 122 (permalink)  
Member
 
marie5465's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 35
freshstart, that is an incredible original post, thank you! AVRT is like the final piece of the jigsaw for me. I have been practising mindfulness and meditation for a while now, but reading up on AVRT on these boards and finishing the Trimpey book (on my second read now) has been enormous for me. I am not a victim of anything, I have the power! Thanks again
marie5465 is offline  
Old 04-18-2015, 07:06 PM
  # 123 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Has anyone here done the AVRT tele-conference?
FrankLapidas is offline  
Old 07-14-2015, 09:48 AM
  # 124 (permalink)  
Member
 
ultradad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
May have just saved my life!

Thank you!
ultradad is offline  
Old 07-14-2015, 12:40 PM
  # 125 (permalink)  
Self recovered Self discovered
Thread Starter
 
freshstart57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Congratulations, UltraDad - you can do this thing. It is a huge undertaking, but it is totally and absolutely within your ability. I am saying this with 100% confidence in your success. Decide you will succeed and accept nothing less.

Take a look at some of the other AVRT threads here in the forum too, there is a lot of great info there as well.

When you look back from your sober point of view, you will wonder why the heck you waited so long. Onward!
freshstart57 is offline  
Old 07-24-2015, 05:03 AM
  # 126 (permalink)  
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
 
toadie54's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
A great original post freshstart, no wonder it's pinned to the top of the forum!

I currently am two weeks in an IOP therapy program, and all the thoughts you list are what I've been thinking since I started. Why am I there? I'm getting nothing out of it. I control my choices in life, Physical things and places aren't causing my alcohol abuse, I am.

I don't even like to use the words sobriety, or alcoholism, or addict...I maintained my sobriety for most of my adult life. I refer to what I'm doing as alcohol abstinence. I have been abstinent for 21 days.

Even days counting has a negative connotation to me...like you'll never escape from the counting your whole life.

AA has troubled me for a long time, though I'm not criticizing it, but from what I've read and researched on their website and here it just doesn't seem to be what I'm looking for or need.

I need to do some more research and reading up on AVRT, but I think it's the track I want to proceed with.

Thanks again for describing how it works and how it works for you.
toadie54 is offline  
Old 10-10-2015, 01:32 AM
  # 127 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 325
Very well written and just how I feel. I have named my voice Derek and am getting better at telling him to just shut it. I'm only 6 days sober though and the support and information I am getting from this site is helping greatly. Thanks.
stevepearce is offline  
Old 10-15-2015, 11:14 PM
  # 128 (permalink)  
Sober since 1st January 2016
 
GerdMuller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 58
Very stirring stuff. It's logical and resonates with me personally far more than AA. Kevin O'Hara referred to his AV as his 'Gollum', and said he took great pleasure watching the 'f***er wither up and die' as his sobrietary grew and the AV became weaker.
GerdMuller is offline  
Old 10-15-2015, 11:16 PM
  # 129 (permalink)  
Sober since 1st January 2016
 
GerdMuller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 58
Originally Posted by stevepearce View Post
Very well written and just how I feel. I have named my voice Derek and am getting better at telling him to just shut it. I'm only 6 days sober though and the support and information I am getting from this site is helping greatly. Thanks.
I'm on 6 days myself mate. Let's stick with it. I just LOLed at 'Derek', Derek can't ha for much authority in your mind, can he. It's a great name for your AV. I'll have to think of one for mine...
GerdMuller is offline  
Old 10-29-2015, 05:20 PM
  # 130 (permalink)  
Quit 4/17/15
 
stargazer016's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,165
I unknowingly used these techniques when I quit six months ago. I later found the web site and bought the RR book.

I was not powerless and didn't need to submit to a higher authority to quit drinking. RR is simple and powerful.
stargazer016 is offline  
Old 12-02-2015, 10:40 PM
  # 131 (permalink)  
G-Woman
 
shortstop81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
I've lurked SR for years now and only had a small understanding of what AVRT was. Reading through this thread I'm beginning to think that this method speaks far more to me than what I've been doing for 10+ years.

I've already said this in another post, but I feel like I have all the 'support' in the world: social workers, therapists, AA, sponsor, etc. I seem to have all the TOOLS and support to remain sober. Yet why do I keep picking up that drink?

Fundamentally something hasn't clicked for me. With my recent forays into mindfulness based cognitive therapy, the concept of AVRT seems to make the most sense.

I've been in and out of AA for years. I keep getting told that I need to keep coming back, work the steps, and only then do I have a shot at maintaining sobriety. But what if I can't fathom the idea of committing huge swaths of my time for the rest of my life to the notion that I'm an alcoholic? Just like a ticking time bomb until it goes off again, whether a 1 year, 10, or 25 years.

Thank you for this stickie. I'll be reading much more on this topic.
shortstop81 is offline  
Old 12-11-2015, 06:11 AM
  # 132 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 7
I absolutely needed this. THANK YOU.
amyjcastro is offline  
Old 12-11-2015, 09:08 PM
  # 133 (permalink)  
Self recovered Self discovered
Thread Starter
 
freshstart57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
That is terrific, amyJcastro. Thank you, you made my day. Please know this: YOU can do this - you have it within you, everything you need. You can choose the life you deserve to have and never look back, only forward, to being free and even enjoying a little happiness in your own measure.

Please keep posting, there is a lot of support for you here. Onward!
freshstart57 is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 07:36 AM
  # 134 (permalink)  
Quit 4/17/15
 
stargazer016's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,165
Clicking on the rational.org homepage and selecting the crash course in the upper right side is life changing. It takes about ten minutes to scroll through the twenty or thirty pages. It truly was life changing for me. I saw my addiction for what is was and have the tools built in now to override any urges. When you tell yourself you are done drinking, you are done drinking.

I just finished reading the book, and it is somewhat longwinded and spends perhaps too much time bashing AA. In my view, whatever method works for someone to quit drinking, that is ok by me. The AVRT method resonated with me, as I became empowered to be in charge of my addiction, not someone who had a disease and needed to struggle every day with help from a higher authority and attend meetings and work steps every day to stay sober.

As I have said, whatever method that allows you to quit is the right method. We deserve to live a life without the bottle. However, if you are a person who has continually struggled with quitting using AA, why not give the crash course on rational.org a try? You certainly have nothing to lose and the entire world to gain.
stargazer016 is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 01:30 PM
  # 135 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Roseville, Ca
Posts: 35
Just wanted to bring this back up, Empower the Sober Self

XXXXXX,
I think I want to talk with you about my sobriety. While you believe you know how I feel about ZZ (I am not sure that this is true, but we can save that for another day), I get the feeling from some things you have said that you are not clear on AVRT and why / how I am sober. I don't think you understand how it works. That is what I want to explain.

I got sober by taking responsibility for my drinking. I made a plan in my mind to never drink again and to never change my mind. Any thought that contradicted that plan did not come from me. It came from my Addictive Voice, the voice of the part of me that loves to get hammered. That part of me would have me drink until I lost my job, my marriage, my family, my home, and finally my life. It was taking everything I love away from me bit by bit, day by day.

I knew that I had a bad drinking problem, and of course, I paid attention whenever the topic of alcoholism came up. These are some of the thoughts that were running through my mind before I stopped:
*I can't quit drinking 'just like that'.
*I am out of control and helpless
*I am scared to death of quitting drinking. How could I possibly survive without alcohol?
*If I could quit or control my drinking, I would have done it long before this
*If I could quit, I certainly can't quit now.
*It's genetic, look at my father and my uncles. No wonder I drink.
*I can never do this on my own.
*I have a disease which will get worse and worse.
*Even if I quit for a little while, I will relapse time after time.
*I will never 'recover' from alcoholism
*I will always be in danger of losing control and drinking.
*I will need to be constantly on guard.
*I will need divine help to stop, and the most I can ever hope for is to quit for one day at a time.
*I am a worthless POS, and I need to drink to numb this thought or I will lose my mind.

To all of these thoughts I finally called BS, I refused to accept that I was powerless, that I could not be responsible and stop this. I felt that way, and still do, because I believe that I make my own breaks, that I control my life, not some substance. You have seen my determination to succeed in action before, I know. I was determined to succeed at this. Even if nobody in the history of the whole world had ever quit drinking (baloney, people have been getting dependent on alcohol and quitting since wine was discovered 4000 years ago) I was going to be one of them and quit, come hell or high water. No more drunken crap in my life ever again.

So, I stopped drinking that morning of August 22 with my parents and my family there. I remember it was at 9:30 in the morning. After that moment, any time the urge came to drink, I pretended it came from that old gf who lied and cheated and made me look like a fool time after time, just like alcohol. She made me feel sick and miserable and worthless, just like alcohol. I would never ever get involved in any way with her ever again, not for any reason. That mental association made it easier to turn away from the urge, confident in my resolve for the life I knew I could have.

What I was doing was recognizing urges, and imagining that they came from someplace that wasn't me, that wasn't part of the thinking loving caring hoping dreaming part of me, it was part of my animal brain, my lizard brain, whatever you want to call it, the part of me that loved the pleasure of drinking, the taste, the buzz, the numbness, the euphoria and the rest. I was recognizing my Addictive Voice, and separating myself from it.

Then, through SR, I adjusted my thinking a little through exposure to AVRT and RR, and learned about making a 'big plan', which is nothing more than a line in the sand - a commitment that I will never drink again and I will never change mind. This line pushes all those drinking related thoughts, any thought that might jeopardize my sobriety, across that line in the sand into the territory of the AV, and I know how to handle thoughts there.

So, to emphasize, any idea of ever drinking again, or of failing to keep to my plan, or of needing anything to help me stay sober, or someday doing 'some research' is my AV. I will never drink again, no matter how angry I am, how depressed, how hurt , how lonely, depressed, anxious, you name it. Never. No head space or attitude or event or anything will make me drink because, the thought that it might make me drink is not me, not true, not real and I don't have to listen to it, I will never listen to it, it is my addictive voice. My resistance to my AV is iron clad, it is bullet proof. This is AVRT and Rational Recovery in a nutshell.

Now, to speak to some of the ideas we have talked about over the last few days concerning my sobriety.

Here is why I feel uncomfortable to label myself an alcoholic:
An alcoholic in my mind is someone who drinks, who is dependent on alcohol, who is addicted to alcohol, and even if they are sober for today, could drink again at any moment, out of control. They need to do certain things to remain abstinent. I am not any of these things, nor will I ever be any of these things.
If the definition above is true, calling myself an alcoholic means that I might drink again someday. This is my AV talking, not me, and I don't listen to my AV, that jerk. POS will kill me if I do, I know it.
I used to be dependent on alcohol, I used to be addicted to alcohol, but not now, nor ever again.

My 'obsession was not lifted', as you said. That sounds like something somehow happened to me. Nope, not at all. I quit, I did it. Me. I am in charge of this whole deal.

Here is why I don't consider my alcoholism a disease like cancer that might come back unless I take chemo, as you suggested:
If it is a disease, and if there is 'no known cure' for it, then I might drink again some day. AV.
If it is a disease, and if I am powerless over it, then I might drink again some day. AV again.
Since my alcoholism is not a disease, at least not to me, and can't be compared to diabetes or cancer or schizophrenia, the question Am I cured does not make sense. What does make sense is the fact that I will never drink again and I will never change my mind. There is a difference in my mind.

Am I recovered? Or as you asked me, am I fully recovered (how could I be partly recovered)? Again, in light of this, it is a hard question to answer because it doesn't make sense. The only answer is I don't drink. Is an ex-smoker, someone who will never smoke again, 'in recovery' from nicotine addiction? They just don't smoke, that's it. I think that my alcohol addiction is the same.

What do I do for my recovery, as you asked me, what daily routine do I have? This question implies that I need to do something, and if I don't do it, i.e. if I don't take my insulin or chemotherapy, I will start drinking again. If I get into a bad head space, I will drink again. Remember, this idea is pure AV. My sobriety does not depend on anything at all and the idea that it does depend on a certain condition is, you guessed it, my AV again. I have chosen not to drink ever again and will never change my mind.

OK, I need this also to be very clear. I am talking about only my sobriety. Mine. Not anyone else's sobriety, especially not yours. I am not criticizing anyone who does not think as I do about their own sobriety as I do about mine. I have no right to do that. I know that there are many ways to get to sober, and this one is mine.

Here is what I am asking of you, XXXXX. I am asking you to accept that what I have described above is real, and true, to accept this as fact, just like the sun rises. I am asking you to accept that this is true and real for me. I have decided that I have the power to believe this 'mind trick' as true, and I hold this belief very very strongly simply because my sobriety and my life depend on it. This belief allows me to be sober, and sober for good, no matter what ever might happen, however I might feel.

I hope you understand a little more about my sobriety, and thanks for listening to me.
__________________
freestylebob is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 01:32 PM
  # 136 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Roseville, Ca
Posts: 35
the above #134 AVRT post was by Freshstart57
freestylebob is offline  
Old 12-12-2015, 01:32 PM
  # 137 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Roseville, Ca
Posts: 35
Sorry #135
freestylebob is offline  
Old 12-13-2015, 01:08 AM
  # 138 (permalink)  
Member
 
petals's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,327
Great post. Thanks for sharing. X
petals is offline  
Old 12-29-2015, 07:27 AM
  # 139 (permalink)  
Member
 
ALinNS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Thank you for your post and all the replies it has been very encouraging for me, new to the forum, old to trying to recover.

My former better half up to my relapse in November of this year because I had never told her I can't drink, I let the beast take control while she was out of the country found the AVRT program and steered me towards it, it in a nut shell is something I wish I would have discovered back in 1998 as I have been in and out of detox, programs and yes the group the majority of people I have spoke with suggested far too many times and I am sick of it as this is a battle I can win, to do that I need help to get there.

I have always had a problem with the thought I am powerless because I am not, I am highly educated and when my mind is clear and sober the logic in my brain tells me what to do, its when I become weak mentally from work the beast comes out, traumatic events from the past is what it uses and I drink to kill the pain. I am using every tool I can find, been sober since Dec 12th and doing very well as my voice of reasoning and logic is in control.

I believe with the help of AVRT and other resources I will win as I am on a mission to get this out of my life, I will never drink again but I will recover, when I hear the phrase recovering from someone who has been sober 15+ years I honestly cringe, my attitude is why not finish it and be recovered, I would help anyone going through this when I am strong enough but I am not a fan of the keep coming back as war stories are a trigger for me, I can fight that trigger. I realize the AV will always be there but I am on a mission to remove any and all control it has had over my life for probably 30 years or more.

Anyhow folks thanks OP for your insight and the many replies, all the best to a sober 2016 as we continue our journey in life. My history with alcohol is posted in the newcomers section and I am thankful they pointed this thread out.

Andrew
ALinNS is offline  
Old 12-29-2015, 01:58 PM
  # 140 (permalink)  
Self recovered Self discovered
Thread Starter
 
freshstart57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
ALinNS, hope you are weathering the weather today OK, my sister just left by air for Halifax, it's looking a little iffy.

I found the most effective way to battle my urges, to fight the AV, was not to fight it at all. I find that giving it my full attention with as little emotional involvment as possible to be very effective. Mindfulness or awareness, they mean the same thing to me. By doing this, staring it, I can see it for what it is. It isn't anything more than the leftover of a previous physical and psychological dependency. It isn't real in the sense that it has no real power to influence my actions. My rational mind has the ultimate control simply because I say so. I have decided I deserve to be sober and that I am going to stay sober, and that is the end of it. Those days of misery and shame and guilt and depression and anger are all in the past for me.

I recovered, and you can be recovered too, Andrew. You got this one. Onward!
freshstart57 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:08 AM.