Is my husband using Opioids/Opiates?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 6
Is my husband using Opioids/Opiates?
Hi,
So this is my first thread and I'm hoping to get some clarity. I have noticed a lot of "odd" things going on with my husband and I'm really not sure if it's something or if I'm manifesting this whole thing in my head. He has always liked to use pain killers (mostly percocet) recreationally but we had a huge falling out and I moved out with the kids in October (not related to suspected drug use). We took some time and decided to work things out and he seems so different despite saying often that he wants nothing more than our family and this marriage. Months months ago, I found a piece of tin foil (maybe like 2x2 inches) and it was rolled super tiny and tight with a pointy end and he told me that he used it to pick his teeth (I know thats gross haha). Said he used it upstairs in our room because he knew that picking his teeth in the living room irritated me beyond belief. So I believe him and brushed it off. He's super weird about his phone and won't even let me hold it and he seems to take an extraordinary amount of time running simple errands. Now, I've been out with him, and he is a slow poke in a store, so again, I made that justification. He spends a lot of time in the bathroom - in the past he has told me that he has a really hard time peeing and often takes him a long time to go but I listen and I hear nothing until he shuts the toilet seat lid and flushes yet I heard no pee go in the toilet. When I ask what he was doing, he tells me he was peeing, which I clearly know is BS. I was cleaning our room, and came across a bunch (maybe like 6-8) pieces of foil, all square when opened but none had any burn marks of any sort. I then found a piece a paper that was folded up and had a reddish/brownish residue on the insides in the folds. When I opened his nightstand drawer, I found another piece of paper, the exact same actually, folded up small again with 3 or 4 more pieces of tightly wadded up tin foil. When I googled it, all I could find was heroin. I know his best friend is a heroin dealer, so its hard because even when I went through our phone bill, I saw his number often but it's his best friend so there's an excuse.... Another thing I keep thinking is, I just lost my cousin in November to a Heroin/Fentanyl overdose, and I remember him nodding off in the middle of conversations and what not. My husband never does anything like that. He is a normally functioning, get up and go to work, help with the kids, kind of guy. But there's something off for sure. He also has always struggled to keep his hands off me and the last 4 or so months, he barely touches me. He used to be on testosterone, but he needs a new doctor so he hasn't had a script in awhile and when I asked, he chalked it up to that. I feel like no matter what I bring up to him, he has an excuse. But when I kept saying "But that doesn't explain the tin foil..." he would only reply with "It's tin foil! What do you think I'm doing??" He knows that I've never really done drugs so I'm kind of oblivious. The last thing I'll mention is he used to vape and quit a while back. I went in our bedroom the other night and he like lunged at me from the bed to hug me and started kissing me (behavior - as I mentioned before - that was not typical in our lives ATM). He like layed me down on the bed and was almost trying to block me from seeing his side of the bed; I sat up, he sat up, I moved he moved. I finally said, what the hell are you trying to hide? And I saw his vape and a scratch ticket. He told me he was just seeing if it worked which I knew was BS. He's since been using it because he said he's stressed over me thinking he's using drugs. He's had 3 sinus infections in the last month and a half, he's always sniffing (says it just his nose spray or saline) and his eye is watering constantly. Today, a friend in recovery was over and I opened up to her about everything going on. She immediately said he was using. He told me I was so convinced that I couldn't see anything beyond that because of what I had just been through with my cousin. Is he just really that good of a manipulator? Have I really been duped for years? Could he be vaping something? Is it normal to snort heroin or fentanyl? How easy is it to get the nasal spray Fentanyl? I just feel like I know something is off in my gut but he's telling me that this is all in my head and I really don't know what to do anymore.......His pupils were pinpoint tonight in a very dimly lit living room....someone help. I'm scared and I don't want to bury another person I love....especially the father of my children.....
Last thing, he has a script for adderall that he takes daily, could this kind of counteract the drowsiness that I've seen in other people using heroin/opioids?
So this is my first thread and I'm hoping to get some clarity. I have noticed a lot of "odd" things going on with my husband and I'm really not sure if it's something or if I'm manifesting this whole thing in my head. He has always liked to use pain killers (mostly percocet) recreationally but we had a huge falling out and I moved out with the kids in October (not related to suspected drug use). We took some time and decided to work things out and he seems so different despite saying often that he wants nothing more than our family and this marriage. Months months ago, I found a piece of tin foil (maybe like 2x2 inches) and it was rolled super tiny and tight with a pointy end and he told me that he used it to pick his teeth (I know thats gross haha). Said he used it upstairs in our room because he knew that picking his teeth in the living room irritated me beyond belief. So I believe him and brushed it off. He's super weird about his phone and won't even let me hold it and he seems to take an extraordinary amount of time running simple errands. Now, I've been out with him, and he is a slow poke in a store, so again, I made that justification. He spends a lot of time in the bathroom - in the past he has told me that he has a really hard time peeing and often takes him a long time to go but I listen and I hear nothing until he shuts the toilet seat lid and flushes yet I heard no pee go in the toilet. When I ask what he was doing, he tells me he was peeing, which I clearly know is BS. I was cleaning our room, and came across a bunch (maybe like 6-8) pieces of foil, all square when opened but none had any burn marks of any sort. I then found a piece a paper that was folded up and had a reddish/brownish residue on the insides in the folds. When I opened his nightstand drawer, I found another piece of paper, the exact same actually, folded up small again with 3 or 4 more pieces of tightly wadded up tin foil. When I googled it, all I could find was heroin. I know his best friend is a heroin dealer, so its hard because even when I went through our phone bill, I saw his number often but it's his best friend so there's an excuse.... Another thing I keep thinking is, I just lost my cousin in November to a Heroin/Fentanyl overdose, and I remember him nodding off in the middle of conversations and what not. My husband never does anything like that. He is a normally functioning, get up and go to work, help with the kids, kind of guy. But there's something off for sure. He also has always struggled to keep his hands off me and the last 4 or so months, he barely touches me. He used to be on testosterone, but he needs a new doctor so he hasn't had a script in awhile and when I asked, he chalked it up to that. I feel like no matter what I bring up to him, he has an excuse. But when I kept saying "But that doesn't explain the tin foil..." he would only reply with "It's tin foil! What do you think I'm doing??" He knows that I've never really done drugs so I'm kind of oblivious. The last thing I'll mention is he used to vape and quit a while back. I went in our bedroom the other night and he like lunged at me from the bed to hug me and started kissing me (behavior - as I mentioned before - that was not typical in our lives ATM). He like layed me down on the bed and was almost trying to block me from seeing his side of the bed; I sat up, he sat up, I moved he moved. I finally said, what the hell are you trying to hide? And I saw his vape and a scratch ticket. He told me he was just seeing if it worked which I knew was BS. He's since been using it because he said he's stressed over me thinking he's using drugs. He's had 3 sinus infections in the last month and a half, he's always sniffing (says it just his nose spray or saline) and his eye is watering constantly. Today, a friend in recovery was over and I opened up to her about everything going on. She immediately said he was using. He told me I was so convinced that I couldn't see anything beyond that because of what I had just been through with my cousin. Is he just really that good of a manipulator? Have I really been duped for years? Could he be vaping something? Is it normal to snort heroin or fentanyl? How easy is it to get the nasal spray Fentanyl? I just feel like I know something is off in my gut but he's telling me that this is all in my head and I really don't know what to do anymore.......His pupils were pinpoint tonight in a very dimly lit living room....someone help. I'm scared and I don't want to bury another person I love....especially the father of my children.....
Last thing, he has a script for adderall that he takes daily, could this kind of counteract the drowsiness that I've seen in other people using heroin/opioids?
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,717
I think you know the answer to that. Addicts think that they can fool anyone. You see all the signs. Time to take control of your situation. Nothing has changed with him. How long are you going to like like that?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I don;t know anything about the drugs you mention but others will.
Like Chloe says we're pretty good at knowing when somethings not right.
I'm glad you came here Queenie - you'll find a lot of support both here, and in our Family and Friends forums too
D
Like Chloe says we're pretty good at knowing when somethings not right.
I'm glad you came here Queenie - you'll find a lot of support both here, and in our Family and Friends forums too
D
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 54
I cannot tell you what he's using, but as someone who has lived with an opiate addict for years I can tell you he is most likely using something. As it's been said, they are master manipulators. They have an answer for every question you could ever ask, and I think you know in you're heart they are all lies.
I really feel for you reading your post, I have been there and am still there. Only now my fiance has moved out to use and is claiming he's "finding himself". I have spent countless hours, days, weeks, months and years thinking I AM the crazy one for asking 101 questions for everything he does. I mean literally insane. Thankfully I've heard enough horror stories to know it's NOT me. We are not the crazy ones with our suspicions and questions. It's their addictions and lies that make us feel that way. I, too, was oblivious to the whole drug thing. I've never encountered anything like that in my life before these last few years. Since then I've tried my best to educate myself. I wish I could say it helped me feel better to understand but on some level it makes me feel even crazier. Right now my fiance is sleeping on his drug addict sister's trailer floor because he wants to use without me questioning him. There is no trust and hasn't been for years. I pray for us both that our significant others can get the help they need. And I pray we can hang in their without losing our sanity.
I really feel for you reading your post, I have been there and am still there. Only now my fiance has moved out to use and is claiming he's "finding himself". I have spent countless hours, days, weeks, months and years thinking I AM the crazy one for asking 101 questions for everything he does. I mean literally insane. Thankfully I've heard enough horror stories to know it's NOT me. We are not the crazy ones with our suspicions and questions. It's their addictions and lies that make us feel that way. I, too, was oblivious to the whole drug thing. I've never encountered anything like that in my life before these last few years. Since then I've tried my best to educate myself. I wish I could say it helped me feel better to understand but on some level it makes me feel even crazier. Right now my fiance is sleeping on his drug addict sister's trailer floor because he wants to use without me questioning him. There is no trust and hasn't been for years. I pray for us both that our significant others can get the help they need. And I pray we can hang in their without losing our sanity.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: Texas
Posts: 4
Answer most likely yes..
This post even brought up some bad memories for me. It’s easy to just chuck up everything with excuses for their behavior. Because “It couldn’t happen to me..right?”
I’m sorry to say that he most likely is, not sure what but..well it all points to it. Please give him an ultimatum. Correct me if I’m wrong but,it sounds like he’s at the beginning of usage. You do not have to put up with this and if you just can’t afford to do it then walk away. Addicts are good liars and will do anything to get that high. Recovery is possible but only if he truly wants it. I wish you the best of luck.
I’m sorry to say that he most likely is, not sure what but..well it all points to it. Please give him an ultimatum. Correct me if I’m wrong but,it sounds like he’s at the beginning of usage. You do not have to put up with this and if you just can’t afford to do it then walk away. Addicts are good liars and will do anything to get that high. Recovery is possible but only if he truly wants it. I wish you the best of luck.
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