Libby06

Venuscat- Although your comment was not directed to me, I wanted to respond, because I get it . I often times feel inconsequential, regardless of my job and commitment in AA. The truth is, at some point in time, the majority of us will be forgotten. I'm not one who has solved any real world problem, or has been given any special gift that I will be remembered for. I dont let it get me down, it just is the truth.

I do hope that you are not depressed, and I'm glad to hear that intellectually you know you matter.

If or when you decide to give this no smoking thing a try, if you are anything like me, you will have a pride in yourself the is only comparable to a sober life.

I'm glad you are here.

Coz

Aww Suze - your intellect brain has got it right - you are important.

In the big scheme of things, we as individuals are just yet another inhabitant of Planet Earth and could easily be perceived as inconsequential at that scale. But, my ecologist brain knows that there is so much inter-relation between all individuals, both within a species and between species. These relationships are so intricate and complex, that even the best scientists and researchers only deal with tiny parts of the machinery of life. But even at that scale, every individual of every plant and animal plays an important role in maintaining balance within our global ecosystem.

You, as an individual in this world, play an important role and you are important. My knowledge of you is limited to our cyber communications on this site, so my list of why you are important is only a glimpse of what I can see from where I sit. So without sounding too sycophantic, you:

• help so many people tackle their addiction with sound advice and support
• help people feel better with your displays of empathy and love for them
• your provide support and advice on all manner of topics from books, movies, cooking ideas, entertaining, gardening.......etc
• are important in the lives of people outside of SR - your family, particularly your hubby, stand out
• you help grow pollen and nectar for the birds and the bees
• are the best listener here and in the real world
• and the list goes on.

So I guess what I am trying to say in very in-eloquent terms is that you are important. If you look at life as a machine, you are one of the many cogs. But with out that cog (or with a cog that is damaged) the machine will still function, but not as well as it would with the cog in good working order. We all need your cog in good working order!

Love you Suze

Dee74

Many many people here love and even depend on you Suze. If you need empirical proof that you are important and you do matter, SR is a good place to start

D

Coz

So far the plan is working - although I am already finding the daily ration insufficient. Today's ration is eight smokes which means some lengthy (for me) breaks between each cigarette break. It is leaving me feeling quite restless and while I am trying to keep busy, I am not being very productive and not thinking very well.

I haven't even quit yet, but I'm already feeling the pain. I wonder whether tapering is a good idea for giving up smoking? It did work for me on my first attempt at quitting drinking early this year, but I know many say that tapering is a bad idea. Maybe I am experiencing why tapering doesn't work for many - it is just as hard as cold-turkey and very tempting to give up trying for the quit forever outcome?

I will suffer through this and stick to my plan. I will be able to say I am a non-smoker (or ex-smoker) in four and a half days time. In the interim, more reading on the smoking stuff, more filling my time with projects and more eating far too much.

Dee74

I was a cold turkey quitter Coz but I generally only smoked when I drank - that was basically every day lol, but it made sense to me to do both at once.

D

venuscat

Gosh.....so much to say.....first re your last post Coz......I can only quit by tapering because I find it much less painful so to speak, but I couldn't do it the way you are doing it. It would make me absolutely obsessed with smoking all of the time. As in I couldn't set times I was allowed to smoke etc.
I just put however many I am allowed in a cig box. It works for me, but obviously I am not a heavy smoker. I just hung onto this addiction as a security blanket....something I can do to chill if and when I need to.


Now.....I need to tell you guys what happened.

Yesterday morning around 9.44 the site went wonky....posts wouldn't post for a bit....they just sat spinning. So after I wrote that last post, it just wouldn't post, for like 10 mins it spun, so I decided it was God/the Universe's will that I not put that in writing, on the internet, and I was almost relieved. And then I open SR this morning and boom, there it is. I was extremely surprised.

I am overwhelmed by your list dear Coz. Literally. Can't see through the tears right now. All three of you....thank you.....that was incredibly beautiful.

I thought I had written more....I have more to say....and I would really like to now.
I will come back a bit later in the day.

Goodnight dear Coz and Dee and have a wonderful day dear Libby. s ❤️

Coz

Suze - I'm glad SR conspired with us to give you a chance to share your problems for a change. I really hope that you can find a way to escape your negative thoughts.s coming your way.

With less than three days of smoking to go, I am feeling a bit anxious on how I am going to cope. I haven't yet finished Carr's book, but will keep reading slowly and finish it on Friday. I have done a lot of reading on what to expect and ideas on what to do. A plan is coming together.

While reading about quitting smoking online, I did read some interesting stuff. One that jumped out was drinking green tea often in the early days. In Eastern medicine, it was used to help alleviate nicotine withdrawal cravings. Green tea seems to have (or is touted to have) a whole range of benefits that will suit me:

• it is full of antioxidants
• protects against high total cholesterol
• helps prevent cardiovascular disease
• reduces fatty deposits in teh liver
• boosts immune function
• promotes digestion
• assists in weight loss
• improves mental health and relieves stress
• boosts memory function
• so much more - but any help it gives to reducing cravings is worth making it my drink of choice for a while.

The count down to being a non-smoker continues......

venuscat

I love your research Coz..... ❤️

Coz

Final countdown is here. Four cigarettes left in my pack for tomorrow - then I will be an ex-smoker.

I have not found the week easy and it has really taken a lot of will power to stick to my plan. I am feeling in two minds about my last smoke tomorrow - half of me is excited that it will be over and the real quitting will start, and half is very anxious about the real quitting starting and never smoking again.

I'm packing up my swag, my green tea, a stack of healthy and unhealthy snacks and some firewood and heading to the hills for the weekend. I am hoping the change in routine and in a setting I enjoy and find relaxing will be good for me. I know that no one ever dies from nicotine withdrawal, so being away from any temptation will hopefully let me focus on enjoying the time away and not focus on not smoking. I can feel lots of walks and bird watching coming up!

venuscat

Wow. Are you going by yourself love?
You are amazing dear Coz. ❤️

Coz

I am hoping that hubby will come with me, but I am going to leave it up to him to decide. I am already on the grumpy side so won't put any pressure on him despite him wanting to support me in anyway he can. The place I'm going is only about three hours from here and quite remote with no communications available, so he will probably want to be there - he is such a sweetie!

venuscat

Good. I am glad he will most likely be with you. ❤️

Coz

Are you feeling any better Suze? You seem to be more active on SR again, so hoping that is a good sign?

venuscat

Yes dear Coz. I really am xxxxxxx ❤️

Libby06

How exciting Coz! Your list for venuscat was very heartfelt, and I learned a lot about you Suze. (Like your first name)It sounds like you were cutting yourself short and I am so glad you are feeling better!

Last year when I planned to quit smoking, I told myself, July 1st, because they were going up to $10 (US). I dreaded the day as it was approaching. Unlike you Coz, I did zero research, smoked when I woke up and called it a loss. But, it really really bothered me everytime I smoked. I didn't even really try to quit at all, I just set a date. After 11 days, I was just so sick of myself and when I put it out, I decided I was really going to try, and here we are.

I hope you have a great adventure out in the hills. It sounds fantastic. Dont be too proud to use nicotine replacement if you have to and are not against it. Quitting is difficult, and if you can make it easier on yourself, I would recommend it. The gum isnt great but it helps. I used the patch a little too. Not every day, just weekends when smokey mcsmokerson (hubs) was around all day long.

I'm super excited to hear how it goes and how you feel as a nonsmoker!

venuscat

You are awesome dear Libby. ❤️

Coz

Suze, Libby and Dee

Many thanks for being around through my planning stage of quitting - really appreciate you being there and offering ideas to help me make being an ex-smoker a reality.

Suze- thank you for your lovely visitor message too - I apologise that I don't know how to reply to you directly.

Libby - nicorettes are coming on holiday with me! I can't take frozen grapes, but have onboard all the comfort food I have on my list, and some carrot and celery sticks to stick in my mouth for a healthy oral gratification.

I'll post again on my return!

and heaps of s.....

venuscat

Have a wonderful time love. s ❤️

Coz

Home from a lovely, although challenging weekend away. My abbreviated tale:

• Friday 31 August 2000, 6.30pm. Lit up and smoked my last cigarette. I was a bit torn while smoking the last one. One half of me was trying to convince myself that it tasted disgusting, imagining the tar building up on my lungs each inhale, watching my teeth discolour and rot and all of this was costing me $1.30 for four minutes. The other half wanted to enjoy the last smoke and leave all the negative stuff for when I really was an ex-smoker.
• By 9 o'clock I was ready for my evening smoke, so just crawled into to bed (very early for me) to get away from any triggers that would set of cravings.
• Saturday morning - up early for last minute food packing. Usual morning coffee on the deck and first real craving for a smoke upon me. All good, I was expecting it. I am determined that I still want to have my morning coffee outside with the sun rising and the birds calling, so this place, time and activity is a trigger that I have to turn off. My thinking (pre-determined): nicotine levels in my blood are half what they were last night. There will be lots of receptors feeling quite neglected and hungry, but they will learn that they don't really need that quick fix if I continue to insist that they can do without and it will only take a few days.
• The rest of day 1. Time in the car, setting up camp, a couple of short walks - one through a rainforest area and one along an escarpment - both beautiful. I craved a cigarette each time I got out the car and each time I stopped on my walk, but as soon I got active again, the craving would disappear. That was until heading back to camp and settling in for the evening. It was really hard to get away from these cravings so it was great that there was no possible access to a smoke. I did end up having my first nicorette chewy to help me through the final hours of day 1.
• Day 2 was a mixture of some adventure 4WD'ing and bush walks. It was great having the distraction, but I still found it really challenging to get over cravings. All the literature would make you think that all cravings only last a few minutes - they don't take into consideration that sometimes cravings come around really frequently - particularly when there are many 'habit triggers' associated with smoking. I did end up having 2 nicorette gums during day 2. I was trying my best not to resort to NRT as I am keen to get the nicotine out of my system as soon as possible, but I also don't want to put myself of quitting smoking by making it harder than I need to.

So now onto day 3 and home again. It is a day to learn to get through all the usual habit triggers. I am on edge and feeling very raw and sensitive - unreasonably so - but many say day 3 is the toughest. I hope they are right! Either way, I know this was not going to be easy, but I also don't want an easy come, easy go outcome, so the work is worth it.

My small consolation is that at least quitting smoking doesn't come with the same physical symptoms as alcohol! No sweats, tremors, vomiting, lack of balance, inability to eat.....etc..... The emotional withdrawal is tough, but I do keep reminding myself that it will go away and it won't kill me or leaving lasting hurt.

I will keep posting here until I have reached the one week milestone, then I'll move to the 24-hour-no-nicotine-no-smoking-club (24 Hour No Nicotine/No Smoking Club ~ Part 13)here on SR - I really can't wait!

Coz

- really tired and brain quite foggy - last smoke was last month

Home from a lovely, although challenging weekend away. My abbreviated tale:

• Friday 31 July 2000, 6.30pm. Lit up and smoked my last cigarette. I was a bit mentally torn while smoking the last one. One half of me was trying to convince myself that it tasted disgusting, imagining the tar building up on my lungs each inhale, watching my teeth discolour and rot and all of this was costing me $1.30 for four minutes. The other half wanted to enjoy the last smoke and leave all the negative stuff for when I really was an ex-smoker.
• By 9 o'clock I was ready for my evening smoke, so just crawled into to bed (very early for me) to get away from any triggers that would set of cravings.
• Saturday morning - up early for last minute food packing. Usual morning coffee on the deck and first real craving for a smoke upon me. All good, I was expecting it. I am determined that I still want to have my morning coffee outside with the sun rising and the birds calling, so this place, time and activity is a trigger that I have to turn off. My thinking (pre-determined): nicotine levels in my blood are half what they were last night. There will be lots of receptors feeling quite neglected and hungry, but they will learn that they don't really need that quick fix if I continue to insist that they can do without and it will only take a few days.
• The rest of day 1. Time in the car, setting up camp, a couple of short walks - one through a rainforest area and one along an escarpment - both beautiful. I craved a cigarette each time I got out the car and each time I stopped on my walk, but as soon I got active again, the craving would disappear. That was until heading back to camp and settling in for the evening. It was really hard to get away from these cravings so it was great that there was no possible access to a smoke. I did end up having my first nicorette chewy to help me through the final hours of day 1.
• Day 2 was a mixture of some adventure 4WD'ing and bush walks. It was great having the distraction, but I still found it really challenging to get over cravings. All the literature would make you think that all cravings only last a few minutes - they don't take into consideration that sometimes cravings come around really frequently - particularly when there are many 'habit triggers' associated with smoking. I did end up having 2 nicorette gums during day 2. I was trying my best not to resort to NRT as I am keen to get the nicotine out of my system as soon as possible, but I also don't want to put myself of quitting smoking by making it harder than I need to.

So now onto day 3 and home again. It is a day to learn to get through all the usual habit triggers. I am on edge and feeling very raw and sensitive - unreasonably so - but many say day 3 is the toughest. I hope they are right! Either way, I know this was not going to be easy, but I also don't want an easy come, easy go outcome, so the work is worth it.

My small consolation is that at least quitting smoking doesn't come with the same physical symptoms as alcohol! No sweats, tremors, vomiting, lack of balance, inability to eat.....etc..... The emotional withdrawal is tough, but I do keep reminding myself that it will go away and it won't kill me or leaving lasting hurt.

I will keep posting here until I have reached the one week milestone, then I'll move to the 24-hour-no-nicotine-no-smoking-club (24 Hour No Nicotine/No Smoking Club ~ Part 13) here on SR - I really can't wait!