Hey guys! I am brand new to this forum. I am a recovering alcoholic, who also suffers from depression and anxiety.
I would really like to quit smoking, but I just can't do it. I've been a smoker for about 16 years. I am currently on Wellbutrin & Cymbalta (for depression), and I have tried the patch and gum with no long term success.
When I attempt to quit smoking, my mood goes way down. Like, scary down. I also get angry and intolerable rather quickly. I practice mindfulness meditation, which has helped me not to blow up on others, but that just means I walk around with clenched teeth and end up screaming at my steering wheel or something inanimate hahaha. I never last more than a week before I pick up again, and my mood instantly returns to normal- which, with 2 years of sobriety and being on proper medication, is generally cheerful and even tempered.
Even though I am in good physical shape and make enough money to afford the habit, I would really like to quit. I know how horrible it is for my health. Also, it messes with my ability to call myself a sober person. Am I really sober when I buy a drug (nicotine) that I am addicted to every day, and use it to psychoactively regulate my mood?
My therapist has been trying a bunch of different techniques with me, but nothing is working. It makes me feel like a loser, honestly. I know addiction is a disease and all, but I feel like I could (should?) be doing more/making more of an effort. I wish there were meetings for nicotine addiction. I didn't really do AA for drinking, but I could sure use something like that for smoking. I was a very heavy drinker, but I walked away from the bottle and drugs with relative ease. This is so much harder.
Anyway, I really just needed to vent. Any advice and support will be much appreciated. Also, feel free to vent as well. I got your back