Arura

((Liss)) Hold on to your recovery...I understand the outside pressures that your talking about.My uncle is a chronic alcholic...Family's ahh how would have them, lol.

You MUST remember you in ALL the maddness thats going on around.

Please stay solid in your focus to stay sober.Then you really win...!


So my thoughts are with you as ever honi...x

You desreve that life you crave for and the peace...!

With Love.........x A...x ...

Lollipop

All

LMAO thanks Beernut, that is too funny, and oh how I would love to see the look on his face LMAO

Mertyl,
You are so right and I agree, I need to "never let him see me sweat" I try not to, and most of the time (which seems anymore is daily) I will just ignore him and then talk to my husband when we are alone at nite after they are long in bed. I know my Dad is very jealous of the close relationship my Mom and I have always had. In fact, he cannot stand for ANYONE to have her attention for more then a few minutes, in fact, he is pouting right this minute because I took her over to see my Aunt and we have been gone 3 hours. (Mom hasnt seen her in a year or more) But, thats his problem, not mine.

I have a really hard time when he starts nit-picking at my boys, and this is normally the only time I say anything. I will let things slide as far as hubby and I go but I will NOT tolerate him talking down or nit picking at my kids, he did it to me growing up and obviously I still have issues to work through, I'll not have that for my children.

I also know a "blow up" (meaning that I will soon come to the point where I have let him slide long enough and have to call for a "sit down" ) is coming. It is hard to catch my Dad totally sober, his routine literally EVERY day is the same......get up, have coffee, do the crossword and read the paper, open a beer (this is anywhere from 9:30 to 10 am.)

The difference with the next "sit down" is that I will be sober, in the past, I "needed a buzz" to deal with him, not anymore, this time will be different at least from my end. And he will eat crow and be "good" for awhile until the viscious cycle starts all over again, it is never ending.

On a good note, Mom and I talked alot today and here is what we have come up with.........For starters, instead of throwing away his beer cans as he drinks them,(he doesnt throw them away....that would require 3 extra steps and he is too lazy) we are going to save them until after he goes to bed at night so that we can keep track of how many he is drinking. (He swears he has cut back on his drinking and smoking, I have finally made Mom understand that he has not, but for arguments sake, we are going to quietly keep track for a week) Secondly, he goes in the hospital for at least 5 days for the bypass surgery on the 28th of this month, after he goes in, we are getting rid of all beer and cigarettes, and if he wants to drink or smoke, he will have to go outside in the porch!!!! Also, I am not buying him any more after this happens. So now Im going to plaster a huge smile on my face, keep my mouth shut and sit back and wait for the 28th!!!! Change is comin and he aint gonna like it but Im floating on air LOL.
Liss

nogard

Liss

Our Families and how to survive them!!

Love Kevin

mertyl

Good plan Liss. Even though i cant be there to see it, I have a pretty good imagination. Please dont take this the wrong way, and I hope his surgery and health are gonna ge good, but I picture(and its my stupid head that does this)- a grey haired, partially bald, with long nose and ear hairs, coming home from the hospital(cranky and ready to get home to his beer) and you and your ma with silent smirks on your faces. And the total loss for words when he sees the two of you, just for starters, telling him he has to go out for a smoke and not caving in. I see a man with puffed out, red cheeks who now has to accept thats the way it is and looking to you, then next your mom, like "Can you believe this?" And her nodding like, "yup". It just seems like a tv show. And i wish you all the satisfaction in the world in making things easier on your recovery.
Its great that you and hubby have your alone talking time and that you stick up for your boys.

I hope that didnt offend you and made you smile
mertyl

earlybird

I had the same thing happening with my family and I when I first got sober. I was annoyed, frustrated, and angry ALOT over it. Finally,....someone who I trusted in AA said something to me that I gave alot of thought to, and did something about. He said "You are letting your family rent way too much space in your head"

Think about you, and your sobriety. YOU know you are not "sneaking" drinks,....and thats all YOU need to know. If they dont believe you,....they dont believe you. Who cares? Eventually,...through you remaining sober,...they will see they were wrong and probably apologize. Even if they dont,....its YOU that you are doing this FOR. Nobody else. Great job on your sobriety. You are doing fantastic!!

GreenTea

Bypass surgery?!?!? ... I would think that doctor's orders would include no drinking and no smoking.

If nothing else you can use that for a ready answer to the "why are you doing this to me?" question... "Doctor's orders and we *love* you dad!"