TexasDawn

Hi everyone.

I am leaving for Hilton Head on Friday. I am already stressed about it. We are staying in a huge condo with two other other families and there will be lots of alcohol around. The kitchen cabinets and the refrigerator will be well stocked with beer, wine, rum & vodka for mixing drinks, etc...

I don't see how I will be able to maintain sobriety knowing there is alcohol right there in the kitchen day and night! I've only been sober just over a month. I should be looking forward to this vacation and not freaking out about it.

Any suggestions are welcome.

Thanks, Dawn

c'est la vie

Write all your fears in a journal so that you can see for yourself in black and white exactly what you're afraid of. Add to it during your vacation whenever something unexpected comes up.

Before you leave, write down some suggestions of ACTIONS you can take when you find yourself in an uncomfortable position or facing one of your fears.

If you believe in God or an HP or some deep inner strength then pray or ask (or plead) for the strenth to surface during your vacation. Ask over and over as long as you need to when you're in a bad situation.

If you can get to a computer, come here and post.

A wise woman here once told me her behavior modification trick. When you're brain starts telling you how much you want a drink, say very clearly, "COMPULSION CANCELLED" (or any other short and simple phrase - no long dialogue) You may have to say it a lot, but at least it will keep your brain busy and drown out the addict voice for a while.

Most importantly -- HAVE FUN!!!!! You are sober long enough to recognize how happy you can be without alcohol. You can remember the things you do each day, rather than be reminded. You can do all sorts of really cool things without worrying about doing something stupid and hurting yourself or others. You can get a good nights sleep and be ready for each new day. You can look back with no alcohol-related regrets.


Be strong, it's worth it.

eire rose

Hello Dawn,

Congratulations on your sober time!! Don't throw it away, its gonna be as tough as you want it to be.

Write before you leave or when you arrive there all the reasons why you don't want to drink (what happens when you drink, what you do while drink, how you feel afterwards) maybe write this everyday that you are there if you need to.

It helps me to think about how I want to drink, as in the people that I am with are drinking socially, if I were to pick up a drink when thier evening is over, mine is usually just starting, one or two drinks never is enough, I need the whole 20 drinks, and horrible hangover that goes wth that.

I don't know if you are in aa or not, but at times like these meetings are very helpful, I have went to meetings when on edge or in the company of other drinkings and found it kept me sober.

Goodluck and have a good vacation

Love, Rose

Moontime

My question is why are you going? How willing are you to stay sober? Will this trip bring you closer to sobriety or further away? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to stay alive? I look at my disease like this; If someone said would you come over to my house for a week to hang out however there is a possibility you can get this highly contagious deadly disease by doing so, would I do it?


My next question is do you think you will really enjoy this vacation if every second your thinking about drinking or not drinking? Will you obsess on them drinking while your not? Will you be taken out of the moment of being on vacation because your mind is fixated on something else?

NYCGirl

One thing I find helps is to have an non-alcoholic beverage in my hand at all times, usually water. this atleast satifies the physical urge to "drink".

I know I would go, you might want to let your housemates know that you are starting sober life and are still vonerable and ask them not to temp you. I also like everyone elses idea to write down your thoughts reasons and feelings.

Though I am not posting there I have been exploring a website about SMART recovery you can probally find some good ideas to help get you through there.

TexasDawn

Thanks for all of the suggestions and encouragement.

All of it has been very good advice.

So far two people have point-blank asked me "Why are you going?" and that's a good question. I have thought about possibly staying home. I guess I just feel torn between going and not going. My husband and my two boys really want me to go. I also would hate to miss out on spending time with my family and being around as they create new memories. My husband has been working overtime for so long that I feel like I barely see him as it is, so this vacation would be a chance for us to spend time together. He said that he knows how hard it will be for me to not drink, and he said that he won't drink while he is there. He doesn't drink much anyway, but he is a social drinker and I can't imagine him not drinking all week while we are there. But I guess that is beside the point anyway, because other people will be drinking....socially.

Just the phrase "social drinking" makes me want to smash things! I never did understand why anyone would want to drink socially. Their glass sits there half-full for ages, and I just want to say "Drink the d*mn thing already!" Why do people drink if they are not trying to get a good buzz? They could take the alcohol or leave it. I'm THE ONE WHO WANTS IT SO BADLY. And they'll just let it sit all over the place. You'd think they would have a bit of understanding since their father was a raging alcoholic for most of their childhood. (It's part of my husband's extended family that is going on vacation with us. Get this: out of 6 kids in his family, none of them turned out to be an alcoholic. Go figure).

Anyway, the good part of going on vacation with his family is that there will be plenty of people around for my boys ages 14 and 11 to hang out with. They can play with their cousins and won't be bored or wanting me to entertain them. My husband and I could go for a few walks on the beach by ourselves and the kids could hang out with the rest of the family.

I can't imagine being there all week with alcohol sitting in the kitchen...
And I can't imagine not going either...

Sorry to be such a whiner. I'm hoping that prayer, journaling, and some AA meetings will pull me though. I'm going to look on-line for a meeting location in Hilton Head before I go. If anyone happening to be reading this post knows of a location please let me know. Also, there's an internet cafe close to our condo (at least there was last year) so I am planning on visiting SR while I am there as well. Maybe I'll print out these posts from you all and carry them with me as a reminder that I am not alone in this. Thanks so much for taking the time to write.

NYCGirl

[QUOTE][They could take the alcohol or leave it. I'm THE ONE WHO WANTS IT SO BADLY/QUOTE]
\
It is theh irony of life, when I was growing up my best friend was alergic to chocolate, she would get so mad because always order vanilla ice cream. Now that where grown I am "alergic" to alcohol and she doesn't even want a drink.

I hope this week turns out a great for you. this could be an excellent oppertunity to shown your demon just how srtong you really are.

My prayers will be with you, maybe you could locate a meeting or two in hilton head just in case.

c'est la vie

I know there are meetings in the town because I looked them up when we were there a couple weeks ago. I didn't happen to attend and didn't save the info but wanted to let you know that you can look online at the AA website to find the phone number or local website.

mygirls_mylife

You can do it, DAWN!!! I have faith in you. Everybody had really great advice, I definitely would look up some local meetings. Have a wonderful time and try not to obsess about the alcohol and your lack of it. Ask your HP to lift your compulsion and do it more than once a day if you have to. Im telling you He's done all right by me so far in that respect.

I was in a situation the other night that put me smack in the middle of a BUNCH of alcohol and old friends and shots etc. I had not one desire or inkling to drink. It was wonderful. I pray that you feel the same and most of all, ENJOY yourself. This will be a nice break for you.
Star

Moontime

Prayer works, Meetings work too, I know that if I want to drink there isn't anything that anyone can say to me that will keep me from drinking. But if I want to stay sober there is nothing anybody can say or do that will keep me from staying sober. Let us know how you did it, this is called a faith building experience.

Lollipop

Dawn

You can do this!!!! But before you go, get prepared!!!! On your list of things to pack, include ANYTHING that helps you stay sober such as a journal, list of AA meetings, phone numbers of people you can call if it gets really bad etc. Stock up on plenty of your favorite n/a drinks and some quick comfort foods!!! Oh and dont forget the swimsuit If everyone knows that you are in recovery, then dont be afraid to speak up or step out for a few minutes if the urge hits you. I have literally said..."I will be back in a few minutes, I need a break" and people understand. You may even find that the social drinking is less just because you and hubby arent drinking. Stay strong, keep us posted!!!! Have FUN!!!!!

Liss

TexasDawn

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for ALL of the helpful posts!

I did look up some AA meetings in Hilton Head and have a map printed out to an AA clubhouse. And I went to TWO AA meetings yesterday and I am feeling much better about going on vacation and being able to handle this challenge.

Also I did something that was very hard for me to do - I called my sister-in-law who is going to be staying with us and confessed to her that I have been going to AA for 5 weeks and explained to her how hard it has been to quit drinking this time. I was afraid that she would just 'blow it off' and tell me to "not worry about it" or "lighten up" or something along those lines, but she didn't do that. She was very supportive and offered to take a drive with me the first day down there to find the AA clubhouse. I was so touched and moved that I started to cry a bit on the phone from relief I think.

Thanks everyone for your encouragement.

c'est la vie

Incredible news. Have a great time!

TexasDawn

Thank you C'est. And thanks for the private post too. I am grateful for your support.

NYCGirl

Awsome! I am so glad you are able to work through this. It sounds like it's going to be some well deserved bonding time with your family. Enjoy every moment.