Erin

Well I had an amazing weekend. Went climbing and swimming for most of it.

Then today - back at work and the same old anxiety and stress. Dealing with three staff who are overwhelmed and new. Personal stress - car had to be towed (brakes failed a few days ago) to the dealer and I'm praying it's covered under warranty (2 year old car with 50 km on it) plus other financial stress (who to pay first, second, etc).

Then top it all off the ex and I are taking a communication break starting today lasting until the weekend. He needs the break and I need to learn how to let go. I am hoping at the end of all this stuff we will be friends and do sober things together - he is completely aware that I am not drinking. If this means he can't be around me sober then I guess he's gone.

Good news - my mom is mailing me ferry tickets and the key to her home. She is going away sailing for a month so I can head up the coast on the weekends to swim and kayack. Looking forward to it.

So to all the people around this site. How do you manage stress and anxiety, normal life stress/anxiety??? I'm curious.

I have no desire to drink (thankfully!!!!) but I am still learning how to manage stuff will probably continue too for a long time. Fortunately it is easier to manage without beer. Also the anti-depressants and normal sleep (despite the heat) has helped. Exercise and working on apartment and hobbies are great and filling the void in the evenings. I've never drank so much juice in my life.

Also for those AA people. I am going to call a lady I met and will be checking it out with her. Still not sure about the AA thing as what I am doing is working (therapy, exercise, friends, being busy, etc) so far. The lady I met is great though!!! I'll try it to learn. You never know.

Thanks for the encouragement on the weekend BTW!!!! I am taking it one day at a time but man oh man my days (good and stressful) are way better then before. I do feel like my life is coming back and it's a wonderful and exciting thing!!!

mygirls_mylife

Hi Erin, I am new to sobriety (36 days) and so far AA has been a wonderful thing. You ARE doing all the right things, but IMO AA will afford you a new lease on life. It helps you find, remember and discover the joy in sobriety.

You also get that from helping other alcoholics and people that are suffering.

There is a passage in the Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book or BB) which is called the Promises, this is my favorite part of every AA meeting is the reading of this. I have posted below for you, it gives me chills every time I read or hear them.

Give AA a chance and more than one meeting, if its not for you, then try another group. The key here being to rediscover life (amazingly enough, being around other alcoholics face to face does this) and help others, as well. You will start feeling better about the stresses of every day life.


The Pomises
“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us — sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”

Page 83-84 Alcoholics Anonymous~

© Copyright 2004 Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved.


Hope this helps, it does me,
Star

I want to add that this is in working the steps honestly and not just " going to meetings".

christopher67

Hey Erin...just wanted to write and say Hi.....Im waiting for the days to come to where the activities that I hold most dear come back to me...The One thing that drinking and drugs do is take away your ambitions to experience the good things in life....you know the free things...like mtn. biking....kayaking....a walk in the woods....all are casualties of abuse....Im on my 6th day of sobriety...Im being patient....life is starting to come into focus....as an avid kayaker myself...I havent been in 2 yrs....my kayak sits under my porch.....I used to explore and be in awe at some of the places Id discover....The Chesapeake is truly amazing...but the abuse erased that part of my life....so Im excited about my sobriety....all these things come back around.......Im not rushing it......Im waiting....and taking care of the big issues right now...counseling...meetings....staying clean....I figure after 30 days Im giving myself the green light for a camping /kayak trip down to Chincoteague and Assateague ....but thats still a ways away....So in order to get that....if it indeed is that important to me I will have to remain drink and drug free.....Thanks for letting me share.....Much Love...And stay strong....Christopher....

Erin

Oh man... That's great. Actually being outside after the first week (the first week was really, really, really hard) has helped a great deal. Just going for walks on the water has helped.

I don't think I could do camping right now maybe next year when I'm feeling stronger (I associate it with beer).

Are you walking or hiking at all? If you loved it before you can love it again. I'm starting to learn that. I need to get my bike fixed (hopefully in the next week) so I'll add that to the mix.

Good on you. Day by day. That's how I'm living as well. Not that bad.

Lastbinge

"""Just going for walks on the water has helped."""


Wow.if you walk on water, things can't be too bad!!!

christopher67

Well....just took a long nap...hoping soon that the desire to nap will pass....The thing a bout these naps though is I wake feeling good...not all cloudy and murky.....My Mtn bike is out in the shed and its starting to talk to me...Guess thats better than the Jack and coke....Im an avid golfer...thats the only activity thats survived this whole 3.5 yr relapse...Why?...because I could use and play golf....Erin...I hear you loud and clear over associating camping and using....If that was my philosophy I wouldnt be able to do anything...I wouldnt be able to drive.....The one thing that really got my attention and scared me was Id be driving around and see a place and say ..."yup...I used there....." ...man I would use just about anywhere....out in the country at state parks...at picnic tables....johnny on the spots...bathrooms....bars....anywhere ...it didnt matter....I would smoke crack right in the golf cart....I didnt care....So im not sure what Im getting at...last March I went out skiing at Vail....skiing was great...sunshine and 50 everyday......drank a little bit....but I was thinking...Man wouldnt it be great to do cocaine at altitude.....it just permeates your every thought...Its reaaly sick....But things are getting better.....Thanks to Last Binge I feel like I have made a difference today.....So I guess my point is I have no point....just thoughts....Take care all and talk to ya soon....C

Erin

Oops typo.

Erin

BTW Christopher...
The first week withdrawal wise for me (and I can only speak for me) was pretty hard. Second week was easier. Last week was easier. This week is better.

I don't associate my drinking with being outside. I spent a lot of time alone drinking. Not picking up the phone and calling people as I didn't want to talk to anyone drunk isolating. So I left all athletic activities to drink. I haven't camped in a year and I socialized and drank. So it will be new.

Now I'm just re-discovering them. Helps the weather is soooo nice.

Hope you get on your bike soon. Also get out and kayack maybe???? Tempted to ride mine to work tomorrow. Either that or take transit there and run home.

Hope you're feeling better and all the AA stuff is helping.