Mad all the Time
Relax = Relapse
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Penticton BC
Posts: 22
doin better today
Thanks to all the helpfull responses! Today I went to the doctor and he prescribed me some prozac, so i will give it a try. Then i went to the drug and alcohol clinic and had a one on one with a counsellour for about 2 hrs. We sorted alot of stuff out and im going to see him again. I have a full time job so its kinda hard to schedual stuff, But i have to do sumpthin about my BAD attitude. We decided thatr AA is not the place for me right now. Ever sense i relapsed i feel kinda sick, and really angry, like i let myself DOWN. I am having a huge pity party because i cant drink but all my friends can. But at least im not pretending i dont have a problem and I dont want to drink and drug anymore. I just want to be happy.....WTF
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Hi Guzler....hmmmm...can i call u something else, like a first name.... ; ) This is Sharon again. Thanks for sharing with me and others how u r feeling today. I appreciate it and u.
It took me 14 yrs to finally give in and go seek help for my chemical imbalance. I was working my program to the best of my ability but i also felt like after all these yrs sober something else wasnt just right with me.
I was still hurting emotionally and physically...like anxiety or angry, unhappy, lonely etc. So i finally went to the doctor and recieve the help needed to help me cope....it did take me a yr to find something that would work with my own system. Not every medicine out there works well with everyones system so take ur time with what u have and check back and forth with ur doctor if u have side effects with it or them....I know i did and thats why it took a yr to find something that agreed with me. Today i do feel better and beginning to enjoy life, others and myself a little more.
Im glad u r talking with ur councilor about ur situation. Theraphy is a good way to find out why we think and behave the ways we do. It could be something from the past that we blocked out or we still feel angry about and that we need to face and deal with so we can go on living a happier way of life with ourselves.
There r lots of people out there that relapse. So u r not alone. there r lots of people that do stay clean and sober too which goes to show me that recovery does work. If id didnt work then there wouldnt be AA or NA or other recovery programs....But it does and they do go.
It takes time....it took all those yrs drinking and abusing my body with poison that i knew it wouldnt happen over night to get well.
So Guzler....or.....ur name? : ) Be patiant with urself. Be kind to urself. Im sure theres a loveable huggable bear deep down inside u. : )
thanks for letting me share.
It took me 14 yrs to finally give in and go seek help for my chemical imbalance. I was working my program to the best of my ability but i also felt like after all these yrs sober something else wasnt just right with me.
I was still hurting emotionally and physically...like anxiety or angry, unhappy, lonely etc. So i finally went to the doctor and recieve the help needed to help me cope....it did take me a yr to find something that would work with my own system. Not every medicine out there works well with everyones system so take ur time with what u have and check back and forth with ur doctor if u have side effects with it or them....I know i did and thats why it took a yr to find something that agreed with me. Today i do feel better and beginning to enjoy life, others and myself a little more.
Im glad u r talking with ur councilor about ur situation. Theraphy is a good way to find out why we think and behave the ways we do. It could be something from the past that we blocked out or we still feel angry about and that we need to face and deal with so we can go on living a happier way of life with ourselves.
There r lots of people out there that relapse. So u r not alone. there r lots of people that do stay clean and sober too which goes to show me that recovery does work. If id didnt work then there wouldnt be AA or NA or other recovery programs....But it does and they do go.
It takes time....it took all those yrs drinking and abusing my body with poison that i knew it wouldnt happen over night to get well.
So Guzler....or.....ur name? : ) Be patiant with urself. Be kind to urself. Im sure theres a loveable huggable bear deep down inside u. : )
thanks for letting me share.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
Guz... Glad you went to see someone. Its so funny to read your posts(not in a bad way) but because you sound so animated. You have so much life in you and you just seem so confused. You remind me of the person who grabs life by the horns. I wish you luck on your journey and in the meantime, i would suggest not driving anywhere...lol. You remind me of me. And probly many others feel the same anger. Perhaps you just speak up.
Take care. And whatever path you choose, may you end up where you want and need to be.
mertyl
Take care. And whatever path you choose, may you end up where you want and need to be.
mertyl
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
You are the only one to blame for, and only one that can fix, your problems. Why do you hate AA? NA? Why do you hate your GF? Start becoming active in your own recovery. Because only those who are just simply waiting for pixie dust to sprinkle down and turn their lives into gingerbread houses, on gold plated streets on Candycane Lane without them having to do anything, are the ones who "hate everything and everyone" Inward anger, turned outward.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
I'm glad to see that you're taking action. Good on ya. I hope you start to feel better soon. Sobriety is hard. There is not doubt about that. Dealing with raw emotions, the emotions that we so eagerly drank away are overwhelming in the beginning. The resentments, the anger, the self-pity, the shame, the fear, the guilt, they just don't disappear. We need to learn to deal with them and alleviate them. You are heading in the right direction. Good luck...
X IV
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
Hi Guzzler,
I didn't get a chance to read your whole thread but I wanted to say that I have learned that it is in most alcoholic/addicts nature to be restless, irritable and discontented. The up side is that there is a solution. For me it was working a spiritual program of recovery. The 12 steps. I used to feel that way most of the time and now I hardly ever do. When it happens I can practice what I have learned and the feelings dissipate, usually pretty quickly. Take care. Lots of good thoughts coming your way.
I didn't get a chance to read your whole thread but I wanted to say that I have learned that it is in most alcoholic/addicts nature to be restless, irritable and discontented. The up side is that there is a solution. For me it was working a spiritual program of recovery. The 12 steps. I used to feel that way most of the time and now I hardly ever do. When it happens I can practice what I have learned and the feelings dissipate, usually pretty quickly. Take care. Lots of good thoughts coming your way.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 59
I am so grateful for finding this group of folks...I have been so desperate with this issue latley...that I just on a whim typed in the google search field the phrase :
" Im mad all the time at everyone and everything...and I hate people"
and you guys and gals and your discussion thread...came up ...top of the list...so I registered and got my little welcome e mail...and here I am...I feel better already.
about me...13 years sober and clean...drug of choice " more and free " married / one child...musician...job...car...home...relativley good health...smoke ciggs ...drink coffee...a little pear shaped and doughy.
was thinking today about seeing a therapist...joining a mens group...seeing if my health ins payed for it...then I thought..." why not just type this in and see what happens...and *SMACK* ...hp said... " ummmm you have this wonderful community out there...you remember ...the ones that saved your life and your marriage...way back when...let me just re-introduce you... " good old recovery...Im gonna try and stay connected a little more ...the program ALWAYS ! makes me feel better.
peace and respect,
vinnie.
" Im mad all the time at everyone and everything...and I hate people"
and you guys and gals and your discussion thread...came up ...top of the list...so I registered and got my little welcome e mail...and here I am...I feel better already.
about me...13 years sober and clean...drug of choice " more and free " married / one child...musician...job...car...home...relativley good health...smoke ciggs ...drink coffee...a little pear shaped and doughy.
was thinking today about seeing a therapist...joining a mens group...seeing if my health ins payed for it...then I thought..." why not just type this in and see what happens...and *SMACK* ...hp said... " ummmm you have this wonderful community out there...you remember ...the ones that saved your life and your marriage...way back when...let me just re-introduce you... " good old recovery...Im gonna try and stay connected a little more ...the program ALWAYS ! makes me feel better.
peace and respect,
vinnie.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 59
I think the long winter does not help either ...lost my mom a few short months ago...still grieving from that...my child is 11 and she is starting to be quite a challenge to be patient with her... I love her soooo much...and her mother...but find myself lately being pretty hard on her...she's still just a kid...and sometimnes I think I expect too much from her in terms of time management ...neatness...homework...chores...etc etc ... I know most of the anger and crabbiness is me...and yet I know that even the most healthy person gets angry and feels resentment etc etc ...so sometimes I feel my self shutting down...the theory being that if I just dont say anything...I wont start a crap storm...I wont raise my voice and flare my nostrils...I wont start trying to solve evrything and saying to myself..." why cant everyone be like me and have there poop in a group...and think ahead a bit " blah blah blah... but when I do shut down and stay "out of it " the RESENTMENT builds...which makes me angry and it starts all over again....
ha haaaaa.... Im describing DRUG ABUSE...only it's emotions and reactions and feelings ... I will keep coming back.
Vinnie.
ha haaaaa.... Im describing DRUG ABUSE...only it's emotions and reactions and feelings ... I will keep coming back.
Vinnie.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 59
you should be proud of yourself toomutch...keep it up...get another day tomorrow... and I remember taking my partner by the hands...and looking her in the eye and saying " I know that I am acting crazy...and that its hard to be around me...and that Im ticked off all the time...I do apologize...but I ask you to be patient with me...I did'nt use today "
btw...does your husband use ? anything at all ?
vinnie.
btw...does your husband use ? anything at all ?
vinnie.
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
:codiepolice HEY BUDDY
4'R WHAT U ARE FACING BUT IF IS OF ANY COUNSOL I COULD IDENTIFIED WITH U, WHAT U ARE FEELING IS CALL WITHDRAWLS, WHEN I STAR IT RECOVERY 2-MONTHS AGO AT THE EARLY STAGES AND EVEN KNOW IT SNEAKS UP ON ME THE IRRETABLY,THE CRNKINESS,EVERYTHING BOTHERS ME AT TIMES BUT AT THE BEGGINING I DIDNT WANT TO HEAR IT BUT THE QUEST!!! IS DO U WANT THIS BUDDY CAUSE IM GOING TO KEEP IT REAL WITH U THIS IS NOT A GAME IS YOUR LIFE, AND WE ONLY HAVE ONE AND WHAT U DO WITH IT IS UR RESPONSABILITY!!!!!!THINK ABOUT IT!
4'R WHAT U ARE FACING BUT IF IS OF ANY COUNSOL I COULD IDENTIFIED WITH U, WHAT U ARE FEELING IS CALL WITHDRAWLS, WHEN I STAR IT RECOVERY 2-MONTHS AGO AT THE EARLY STAGES AND EVEN KNOW IT SNEAKS UP ON ME THE IRRETABLY,THE CRNKINESS,EVERYTHING BOTHERS ME AT TIMES BUT AT THE BEGGINING I DIDNT WANT TO HEAR IT BUT THE QUEST!!! IS DO U WANT THIS BUDDY CAUSE IM GOING TO KEEP IT REAL WITH U THIS IS NOT A GAME IS YOUR LIFE, AND WE ONLY HAVE ONE AND WHAT U DO WITH IT IS UR RESPONSABILITY!!!!!!THINK ABOUT IT! Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 59
I am so glad to have found this place today...I have such a busy life...1hr commute to and from work each day...11 yr old daughter... with all the trappings...girlscouts...soccer etc etc ...so I think the on-line recovery route is gonna have to suffice right now
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