destinee

I have tried to sober up several times in the last 20 years...but things are getting progressively worse.

I cut down to drinking to once a week but it is still causing problems...with my relationships and my children!

I have tried AA in the past but had no luck...didn't feel very comfortable.

Any advice?

Moontime

I think when you reach the end of the road it's not about being comfortable but about saving my life. This disease wants me and you dead. It want's us to die a slow and painful death first sucking everything out of our families before killing us. What's worked for me is NA. It's not the only way to recover but it works for me. I love that I am Never Alone Never Again. It wasn't comfortable at first but in reality what did I know about comfort, maybe a drink, maybe a shot, maybe a snort, maybe a smoke? Give yourself a break and take a risk. try something that isn't comfortable but it may save your life.

Lollipop

Hiyas Destinee and welcome to SR!!!
I understand what your saying...... I thought for the longest time that if I only drank once a week that it was ok, but the fact is, it isnt. Not when it is causing problems in your life. Staying sober is a hard journey but you CAN do it!!! On the day/night that you would normally have your "weekly drink" find something else to do, take the family to a movie, go for a walk etc! Find things to occupy you that do not involve alcohol. If you have it in the house, get rid of it, avoid any temptation when cravings hit and keep busy until they pass, they will pass!!!! In the meantime, Keep reading and posting here, this site holds a wealth of information and support.
Question, are your husband and children aware of the problem? The reason I ask is because I know for me, when I acknowledged the problem with them, they became my greatest support system. Its hard to hide or lie to yourself and others about your addiction when they already know about it!!! One Day At A Time!!!! Keep us posted. Again Welcome!!
Liss

destinee

Liss,

Thanks for the welcome...I have been divorced for 13 years. But the last five years I have been in an off and on relationship. With another alcoholic...he quits then I try to quit then we both drink one night and mess everything up ...we are still friends but he says we can never have a relationship with alcohol in our lives!

ismchanger

Well, he's correct. It sounds like you are being fairly realistic for a couple of alchies! I agree that if you are serious about sobriety you need to enlist the help of your friends and family. **BUT** you will also need an outside help, and that probably should be AA. I feel strongly you ought to try reading the Big Book and go to a good meeting or two on a regular basis.

When I first came into the program I didn't like every meeting I went to, and I still don't care for some meetings. You have to try different groups, and women especially seem to benefit from women-only groups.

Just keep showing up fro meetings and don't drink (there are TONS of things to do besides drink, trust me) and things will get better.

mishelly

Welcome to SR Destinee! I see that you mentioned you tried AA before and it didn't work. Do you happen to know why it didn't work?

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

When I first started trying to quit AA didn't work for me either...because I didn't REALLY want to quit. Fast forward four years and many a drink / drug / ruined relationship later, when I went back through the doors really wanting to quit, it worked. I tried several different groups in several different towns and I found a couple of groups that I love. I'm not saying it works for everyone...but it has so far for me.

Anyway...glad you're here, keep posting, you'll find the way for you if you really want it.

Candy Scratch

Destinee,
Welcome and best of luck on your journey to sobriety.
I am new to this myself and I keep on trying, even when I make mistakes. I am so sick of it too and this addiction sure has a strong grip and a loud, miserable voice.
Isn't it interesting how we are attracted to other drinkers? I'm wondering if it's because like pulls to like, or because they are the only people we can keep drinking with without fear of repercussions.

I'm a single mom with kids too and I pray with all of my heart that I can stay sober for their sake. I fear that they will watch me and do the same thing. I can only hope that they see the struggle and one day, when I have been sober for years and years, they will definitely think that sobriety is the way to go. I pray.

Hugs to you and your kids,
Candy Scratch

jerseyguy

The effects of alcohol can alter judgment and can lead to dependency and severe health problems if alcohol is consumed in excess for a long period of time. Alcohol is typically used to enhance the enjoyment of meals by many societies throughout the world. If one likes to enjoy an alcoholic beverage from time to time, then they should consume it only in moderation. If not, one can easily become an alcoholic if they do not have the willpower to say no.


High levels of alcohol intake raise the risk for high blood pressure, stroke, heart disease, cancer, automobile accidents, violence, birth defects and many other complications. When drinking alcohol excessively for long durations, cirrhosis of the liver is highly likely. Inflammation of the pancreas, and damage to the brain and heart are very likely as well. Heavy drinkers are also at risk of malnutrition because alcohol contains tons of calories, and gives an alcoholic as sense of fullness.


If a person feels their drinking has gone to a new level and they cannot stop, then help should be sought immediately. "If you think you are an alcoholic, go to an AA meeting," says Dr. Ally Bloom, a medical director and owner of Pasadena Recovery Center. He is psychiatrist with four years experience in treating alcoholism. "Then seek further treatment if necessary."


Alcoholics Anonymous is an organization made up of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other concerning alcohol. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership; the organization is self supported through contributions. The organization is not affiliated with any denomination, politics, organization or institution, and does not engage in any controversy, states the website. The organizations primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. The website states that millions of men and women have heard or read about the unique Fellowship called Alcoholics Anonymous since its founding in 1935. Now, more then two million now call themselves members. "People who once drank to excess, they finally acknowledged that they could not handle alcohol, and now live a new way of life without it."


AA is a place that alcoholics can come together and discuss what they are feeling. It is a place where acceptance is welcomed, and a place where they all think the same. "We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking, we still hated to admit we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other members that we were sick and that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness," the organization states.


Once a person acknowledges they're alcoholic, it is practically impossible they can ever become a social drinker again. "I don't believe they can because I think their bodies have a craving for alcohol, and as soon as the alcohol hits their brain, the desire for more and more alcohol overwhelms them," says Bloom. "There are occasional cases where people become social drinkers, but statistically it's like playing Russian roulette. It is not a thing I would recommend any alcoholic to every try."

michski

If things got progressibely better we'd all still be out there drinking/using. The exact opposite happens and to make things worse, no more fuzzy feeling of well being after a drink or 10! It stops working and from then on honey, the booze is drinking you and NOT the other way around.

I sure how you'll begin your committment to yourself and your kids. There's so much support here at SR! Use us! We be here for you!

mikee

sobriety...it can only get better!

Keep posting

prayers

destinee

I usually like my friday night drinks so I went home and was hiding out all night made myself go to bed early...then Saturday came and my ex boyfriend was around reminding me of the relationship I did not have so an aquantance called and invited me out for a few drinks and I gave in...I am so ashamed I couldn't even make it through the weekend...and Sunday I was sicker than a dog!
Help me,
rainy

mishelly

Ok, for me, isolating (hiding) is very bad news. The last place I need to be is alone in my own head...I need to be around other people just like me. Alcoholics / Addicts in recovery, either in person or on the phone. I need to surround myself with others who understand / respect what I'm trying to do and invite me out for a cup of coffee instead of a shot of whiskey. When a craving hits, I need to find something to do to distract me until it passes.

Any chance you have reconsidered giving AA another go? It was terribly hard for me to sit down at a table and admit what I am and ask for help, but I was willing to go to any lengths to recover...are you?

Praying for you

CarolD

Here are two books I suggest you read

"Under The influence"
and it's sequel
"Beyond The Influence"

they are carried by Amazon

I finally stopped with the info in
"Under The Influence"
I use God and AA to stay in recovery.

Blessings...