GreenTea

Don't you think you're over-reacting a bit with this whole AA thing? Seriously, moderation is the key and all you're doing is going to yet another extreme but on the other end. "Real" people go out every once in a while, have a beer or two and socialize. I'll bet you can do it too if you just try. Simply recondition your drinking -- have only two a night. Its not that hard and you can do it.

Yeah right. Let me say it again... Somewhere along the way I crossed a line and I CAN NO LONGER DRINK "NORMALLY". Its as simple as that.

Remember the craving? Remember how you felt like you just HAD to have another beer once you got started and nothing else mattered? Remember how that FELT? Remember how the beer tasted like water as you just kept on pounding them down?

Do you want to go through all that withdrawal all over again? Do you want to deal with yet another hangover? Do you want to go through all that anguish again?

I don't think so. Dismissed.

Phinneas

Well done!

Great thread, Green Tea. The voices in our head - I call mine my Addict - are very real and can be so cunning and seductive. You are recognizing them, talking about them and playing the tape to the end. A+

leviathon

I'm ok, I am not addicted... I can have just one... everyone else does it without a problem, why am I making such a big deal out of it... look so and so drinks til she/he blacks out and then is fine, what's the issue if I do it once in a while too...hey, it runs in my family, i just gotta be more careful than others.

Peace, Levi

c'est la vie

I'll just have one glass of wine with dinner since this meal goes so well with wine. Then I can just start over the dry days. Surely once a month is OK. It's not like I have years of sobriety that I'm throwing away.

This is exactly what I'm saying today.

NYCGirl

You know better, think about it play that tape over in your head of why you came here to begin with, that will never change. Yeah, your probably right, sure I to could have had one glass of wine wiht my delicious Italian dinner last night, but then one beer on the bat today would be okay too wouldn't it, oh yeah well since I had tht beer at 3:00 and it's 6:00 now and someone offer me another the first one worn off, so sure It's okay...do I need to keep going?

PillPopper

It was really scary for me at first when I stopped using the first few days. I am thankful that I went through that experience (the voices) before I went through some of my rougher days because they voices are so convincing.

christopher67

OK.....Let me tell you all about the little man that resides in the attic of my brain....Hes sick...Hes a shut in...dying to get out....He tells me the next time I use is going to be perfect....get enough dime bags of cocaine to last you a really long time.....and dont share this time...keep it all to yourself....dont stay in the city...get your junk and get out.....and my Gosh Son,dont tell anybody youre using....Or you know what...get an 8 ball.....yeah thats the ticket......then youll finally be happy.....and then that will be the last time....because the last time you used...you made so many amateur mistakes,you gave 1/2 of it away to complete strangers....what were you thinking?....Well this time its gonna be different...No more Mr. nice guy....All for me.....dont even ask....Maybe well get it and take a road trip to the beach....Or Atlantic City....Gamble and smoke crack and booze it up all night...Yeah..that would be perfect...Lets do it....What are you waiting for....Lets Go......" Anyway ....................Theres a little glimpse into the little whispers in my ear......Im kicking my mans little butt right now and getting eviction papers to get him out of the attic apartment....hes as stubborn as they come and I know hes not going to leave without a fight....:uzi2: ....Take care All...Much Love...Christopher

GreenTea

If I drink "normally" then I'm not having any fun with it... But if I have fun with it, then I'm not drinking "normally"...

My evil twin is a drunk, and he's me.

REZ

My big con was at one point: "My wife has only known me clean and sober. I need to on a big binge and get in a lot of trouble so she will really understand that I am an addict/alcoholic and be more supportive of my recovery program."

What BS!

carolm

Hi Christopher67,

That was a great little story and so true.

You used to share your coke?

Carol

aloneagainor

Or conversely, "My husband has only known me as an active addict. This attempt at coming clean and being honest and trying to change has created a LOT of miserable stress and conflict. I'm going back to using because he liked me a whole lot better that way, sedated and passive."
What BS!

c'est la vie

I was having a problem for a while and jumped the gun by getting involved with a recovery website and going to AA meetings. Now I feel like I'm acting like an alcoholic just because I keep telling myself that. I really would be fine if I just stopped talking about it, really.

GreenTea

Okay, okay, you got the point. Its bad to drink to get plastered. You're right, you wouldn't sit there and drink cokes all night and hang overs are bad. Got it. Message received. But that doesn't mean you can't ever have another beer again, ever, right? At some point you'll have one or two and then you'll walk away from it for the night, right? You'll be "cured" and everything will be fine again and you can again enjoy the delicious taste of an ice cold beer on a hot summer's night, right? So why wait and deprive yourself for too much longer?

(And now I'm going to quote myself!) -smiles-

"...But that doesn't mean you can't ever have another beer again, ever, right?..." Ummmm... yes, it does. I crossed a line, remember? One leads to twelve and the craving during drinking turns me into a single minded, slavering idiot followed soon after by an anguishing, hung over idiot.

"...enjoy the delicious taste of an ice cold beer..." Not today! And tomorrow I'll say the same thing.

"...So why wait and deprive yourself..." I'm not depriving myself of anything except a hang over and a whole lot of anguish and other potential problems. Instead, by abstaining, I'm GIVING myself another beautiful day of sobriety.

Dismissed.

GreenTea

But its just not fair! Other people can have beer. Why shouldn't you be able to? You just need to retrain yourself, that's all.

Once again, I abused myself to the point where something changed. That was a choice I made. It doesn't matter *why* the choice was made, the body has already changed. One leads to twelve and that's just the way it is. It isn't a matter of retraining myself.

What isn't fair is that something which *seems* to feel so good should be such a LIE, such a snare, and should come at such a high cost, both in health and in damage to my life. For me, alcohol is the unfair lie, and I'm best off simply staying away it.

Dismissed.

GreenTea

Aren't you getting tired of always talking about your drinking? It seems to me like you're obsessing over it all, and its so unneccessary.

I'm talking about it because YOU never shut up! If I AM obsessing, then I'd rather obsess about not drinking instead of obsessing ABOUT drinking. I've spent enough time already doing that. I can't get arrested for NOT drinking. My life won't be ruined because I DON'T drink. I'm making a choice here. I win, alcohol loses.

Well, you're better now and you used to have a lot of fun drinking so since you're CURED why not try having a few beers again?

The "cure" only lasts for as long as I remain sober. Even a little bit of poison will kill me -- maybe not immediately but just as surely. I'm not "cured" in that sense. The "cure" is to remain sober. I DON'T *WANT* TO DRINK ANYMORE SO SHUT THE FRAK UP ALREADY!!!

Dismissed.

hector

I just remembered....

About a year ago I went to an AA meeting. Somehow there were no tables and chairs, just mattresses along the walls. I laid down on my back and waited for the meeting to start. A cute brunette came along and laid down beside me. Like any gentleman, I stretched out my arm for her to rest her head on. Then I looked for a place to put my other hand.....

....

...and I woke up. It was a dream. Lessons learned: 1) I'm perfectly comfortable being at an AA meeting in a dream. No nightmare. 2) I really needed to get laid. A few months later I did, but that's another story. Turned into a nightmare.

GreenTea

-chuckle- ... Were the voices confused? -smiles-

Popov_overdose

"Once you feel normal again you know you can beat this...drink only on your days off and the other five just chill and focus"....

This frightens me!

NYCGirl

I tried that one for years!

I listened when the voices told me its Thurday, all most the weekend, or its a 3 day weekend its okay to start early.

The good one, its Monday just few after work to kill the weekend jitters.

Well, being a teachcome June got alot of you work hard all year, so what it's one long weekend. and I would actually have to ween myself off vodka so i could go back to work sober.

Oh then the big justifiction come If you can cut back to go back to work you can't be an alki

Okay what ever you say... but I am not drinkin' no more. The End

2dayzmuse

I just turn the volume off. That really p*sses the voice off.