MikeAnon15

Backstory: I'm in my mid-20s and began drinking heavily 2 1/2 years ago. Heavily? 12-15 drinks a night every single night with maybe only 3 off due to an illness of some kind. I've never drank before 8pm as if that justified me saying it's not a problem. Luckily I make decent money writing from home online so no one ever needed to notice and it didn't crash my life. Well it's gotten to a point where I only drink so I can sleep (I do love my sleep) even to the point where on one of those nights I didn't drink I'd take 2 sleeping pills only to simply be awfully tired until 8am never able to fall asleep.

Progressively as I started my drinking later (wanting to only drink 8 or 9 to be comfy and fall asleep quickly) I noticed my body was feeling more and more awful during the day. I woke up fine but then I felt ill, had no appetite, and just laid on the couch all day waiting for it to be past 9 or 10pm so I could drink and it'd go away.

Through this stupidity it only dawned on me yesterday I wasn't physically ill I was just going through withdrawal EVERY DAY for the last 6 months or so until I drank again and felt fine.

SOLUTION: Tomorrow I'm going to call up and get health insurance (once again, mid-20s, I've been to the doctor once in say 8 years, unnecessary money spending). Within the day I'll find a doctor and set something up but it probably won't be for a good week due to their waitlists.

MY QUESTION: I've had tremors and eating problems in the afternoon for the last several months, I know I'll have bad withdrawal due to the amount I've drank over the last couple of years daily.

Do I keep drinking nightly until the night before my appointment next week? I've read a great deal about the withdrawal and fear the very bad tremors. This would make me go to a hospital where I'd be out a great deal of money. It seems like the logical thing to just wait until the day before the doctors appointment so he can hear the story, check the symptoms, and get me whatever anti-anxiety medication I'd need.

On the other hand it seems foolish to have a story where I'd get to keep drinking for a week. I need an outsiders perspective. Like I said, I've only drank at night and just so I could sleep (not sleeping is the worst thing in the world) but this could be an excuse and maybe I'm overreacting.

Opinions? Stories? I'm very new to this and just want to feel healthy. I could use any opinion on how to handle this correctly.

Done_With_It

Hey there,

Welcome to SR. More will be around soon to help you out. I do know that stopping cold turkey on alcohol can be very dangerous.

Lots of good people here who can give you some advice.

Congrats on finding us and doing all that you are doing!!

Arura

Hello Mike, Glad you found us, like done said stopping drink straigt away could be dangrous.Good Luck with the doc.
I was only drinking heavily for 2 yrs just under.I found that my health started to slip. The loo hateded me in the morning.! Phew. it still does.?
The amount of food I ate was minamal.So not surprised really.Stupid more like.!

There are MANY more experianced folk on here than me in the recovery feild. Im sure they'll be along with a Bucket full of Advice,hope n strength.

Good Luck honi and congrats on chosing a new life.

CarolD

Welcome to SR...

We are not qualified to give medical advice
but here is a link with our personal experiences
on de toxing.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-expect.html

It wise of you to plan on seeing a doctor
Good for you!

Keep us informed..we do understand.

aloneagainor

That you recognize that there's a problem and you're taking action to do something about this is definitely a move in the right direction; but I hear you putting it off, in what you're going to do tomorrow (you wrote yesterday, today is yesterday's tomorrow) have you MADE the appointment yet? So often people have good intentions about quitting but don't actually ever DO anything about it, and so keep on using, thinking they'll get around to doing something about it tomorrow....tomorrow...tomorrow...when all we really have is today.

Your clock watching reminds me of something I once heard my grandma say. It was shortly after 10 on a Saturday morning. She looked at her watch and said, "close enough to lunchtime, I'll have a beer." Surely her start time had been pushed ahead earlier and earlier over the years. Bless her sweet heart, she suffered ill effects of extremely high cholesterol, and died of a stroke 12 years ago, never could put the beer down, not even for the sake of living a more comfortably healthy life.

You're in your mid 20's! Much life to live...
If you're serious about living life there's nothing stopping you from slowing down your drinking before the appointment (why do I perceive that you're stalling, wanting to keep drinking heavily until you go to the doctor; is that an accurate observation?)

You know Mike, there's no-one and nothing that will force you to stop drinking short of your own failed health and resulting death. No doctors instructions will stop you, medication won't prevent it (though I do understand there are drugs that are designed to make you viiiooolleentttlly ill ((((earlybird)))) if you drink...which is an option...though wow, pretty severe), and I don't know that even your feeling miserable all the time is even enough to keep you from your indulgences. Your own best thinking WILL keep you stuck in this state you're in. I do hope that you DO go to the doctor, and DO reach out for outside persepctive in as many places and ways as you can access it. And that you DO follow up and post here so you commit yourself to take action to get your life back.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I started drinking in order to be able to sleep too. I had a lot of stress in my life and I felt I couldn't keep working every day if I didn't sleep. I became an alcoholic very quickly and it took close to 3 yrs before I was able to stop drinking. I still have trouble sleeping, but trust me, not sleeping isn't the worst thing in the world. Being a slave to alcohol is the worst thing in the world.

It can be dangerous to stop drinking completely without medical supervision so I am glad you're going to the dr. Please let us know how you are doing.

colubrid

I'm new here myself, so I hope it's ok to give out advise. Definetly See a doctor before quiting. Life does get better and better when you quit. I was drinking as much as yourself for many years. I also only had a day or two sober in many years of drinking due to illness(flu or whatever) and only because I was throwing up. Once your doctor decides how you should go about it, stick with it. You will thank yourself later. Good luck.

Timmm

Welcome to Sr Mike and glad your working toward your sobbriety,I am not a Dr but if you have the appointment set then set that date as the day you start your sobriety and Go from there ,

You say you want to be healthier then drinking abstinance is a gr8 start ,Think of all the poisons youare putting in your body ,It will not be easy to stop my friend but long term you will fell gr8 and wonder why you did that in the first place .And be careful about the anti anxiety pills as the can become addictive as well.

You seem like a smart man and well off you are doing the right thing by quitting but make sure you set that date and dont allow your booze way of thinking talk ya out of it ..Ok ?/

Im here for ya as well as the rest of us and if ya need anything just ask!!!!!!

earlybird

I would look up a substance abuse Dr. Tell them your story. How you have a few days until an appt. They most likely will have you come in, check you out real quick, and give you some ativan to ease the shakes and withdrawals. Continuing to drink will just hurt you more,...and make the withdrawals the doctors have to deal with in a week very bad. Trust me. I was hospitalized seven times for withdrawals. Heart stopped once. Shocked my heart back to life. Also,...anything can happen in the time from now til you go to that appt. You could get alcohol poisoning. You could hurt yourself while loaded or someone else. You could make the inevitable withdrawals 10 times worse.

MikeAnon15

Thanks for the replies. As to individual comments:

When I made that post it was late and everything was closed. Yes, I made the appointment today and it's for Thursday.

I think you got the impression my post wasn't 100% serious. I'm fully ready to quit and just awaiting the doctor. I simply fear the withdrawal and a good friend of mine who fought this a few years ago also suggested a 3 or 4 day prescription of Diazepam and Promethazine as he'd detoxed a few times before and he said those two made everything fine for that 3 or 4 day window. I've never had a pill subscription, I just feel I'll need them as tremors run in the family naturally and when you include the drinking withdrawal that could be very bad.

That's actually a good idea I hadn't thought about.

Basically my plan is as asked in the first post, I'm 100% committed to this ending and fully realize how saying "I'll wait 5 more days until...." sounds as I even questioned it myself in the initial post. I just need to sleep and not shake to death.... which is why I think waiting for 4 or 5 days to see a professional isn't a poor idea. I bought a breathalyzer for health and driving purposes, yesterday I didn't feel at all drunk and gave myself the test.... 0.25, I decided that I didn't need another drink and slept like a baby. I'm as responsible as an irresponsible person can be.

Kellye C

Mike, hello and welcome to SR.

I started drinking because I couldn't sleep. At first a couple of shots did the trick. The tolerance started building up and it was soon a 1/2 pint a night. I progressed to a pint a night and then buying fifths for the weekend with the intention of it lasting several days and would wake up eventually horrified to find that I had drank the whole thing and had no recollection of it. I started having hangovers and shakes in the mornings. I started taking a slug in the morning if there was any left to calm the shakes. Then it got to where I was having to do the same at lunchtime just to be able to keep the shakes under control. I did this for 3.5 years. I spent the last year aware that I had a problem and trying desperately to get it under control but it just got worse instead of better. Like you I was terrified of full-out withdrawals. I had a case of them daily and had some more full-blown ones on Sundays when I had drank up my allotted amount on Saturday (liquor stores are closed on Sunday in Texas). I was horrified that I had become an alcoholic and in such a short span of time.

I attended my first AA group meeting at my home group 2 years ago yesterday. I had my last drink on August 7, 2004 and have been sober since August 8. I cut down from a pint to a half-pint while attending meetings. I felt like a huge failure and such a fraud for drinking while going to AA.

I did end up going through the whole enchilada with withdrawals when I quit. I did it with no medical assistance but my mom gave me a few Xanax to calm the shakes down and they helped some (they were very low dosage). This was my experience and I did not know at that time that doing what I did (detoxing at home) could be fatal but I had my mom there the whole time and she could have called 911 if something happened. Her support and that of my group is what got me through. I kept telling myself over and over that if I could just get through this without drinking I didn't ever have to do it again unless I CHOSE to. It was pretty awful but it is nothing compared to the misery of active alcoholism and once I walked through it, it was so worth it.

Good for you for getting a doctor appointment. When you go, be totally honest about the frequency and amount of your drinking so that the doctor knows what they are dealing with and how best to help you. In the meantime read the stickies here and on the Alcoholism board so you have an idea of what you are up against both in detoxing but the emotional and physical things that you go through well past the detox period. Educate yourself.

Best of luck and congratulations on seeking help for your problem!
Kellye

6_Years

Hi Mikeanon

I was interested in responding to your post because I was at a similar stage of alcohol addiction to yourself a few years ago. I now realise that there were steps I could have taken to avoid myself dropping to the level I've sunk to now where my drinking has caused so many endless problems. Just to let you know, I've had a drink problem for 6 years and I only made a serious attempt to stop a year ago. I managed for 4 months at most and I regularly sink into a mode where I will drink 40 or 50 pints of lager a weekend, continue on a Monday and Tuesday, miss days off work, worry about everything I did when drunk, and get depressive... even suicidal.

I always had sleeping problems and an anxiety disorder and whilst it can be temporarily solved by drinking, the insomnia is actually exacerbated in the long term. I know what its like taking pills and lying there waiting to drop off til 8am in the morning.

I think its really important that you try to overcome this now. I am 25 and developed this problem when 20. You must attempt a period of 2 or 3 weeks without any drink whatsoever. Spend your money on going to see a film or go for a long walk, do exercise etc... I live in the UK, I don't know what you have in terms of leisure pursuits. In that 3 weeks, your body will change its functioning and you'll get the most enormous sense of relief being able to sleep. You'll find you can control your sleeping and drop off when you want.

Like me, it sounds like you are showing the early signs of an eating disorder. A lack of appetite can soon develop into denying yourself food as a form of self-harm. Its scary that this can happen to quickly but it does when alcohol is eating away at your soul. I'd recommend you buy lots of food (working at home) and cook yourself a big lunch every day during this 3 weeks i recommend.

I know I am a bit vague on this advice but I'd really like to help in any way I can if you have any questions. I wish i had been advised when I was having these problems particularly with sleeping and reliance on alcohol.

I am worried that you'll develop the indigestion, stomach ulcer and haetus hernia problems that make it much harder to sleep ... if you dont cut don or stop drinking. The tremors and shakes you describe can develop into anxiety and panic attacks that are horrible.

I think if you take steps now, you'll be fine. Its good that you feel you can discuss these problems. I'm sure you'll be fine with a good job and the help of people from this board.

Arura

Hello Mike thought id see how you are today. ?
Hope all is well for you, your appointment is soon YES.! so you are gona get there.!

And things will to start to turn that courner if you want it as much as it seems.

Good Luck in your journey through recovery.