Put my guns to ground, I cant shoot them anymore...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
Posts: 308
Put my guns to ground, I cant shoot them anymore...
Hey Ya'll
The morning seems to have met me with alot of questions. I would like for God-fearing people to help me out some.
I got to the place FINALLY where I realized I cant really control anything. I let go and let God and life has never been better. But, I find myself perplexed by what my job is. What God wants from me? Am I living in a way that would please God, yes. But I want to do more than that.
I am ready to do what God has put me here for. Im excited to learn but fail to find the answer. I pray about it but he wont tell me. I always walk away with a 'chill, you are doing what you should be doing' feeling that he probably places in my heart.
Im very confused.
The morning seems to have met me with alot of questions. I would like for God-fearing people to help me out some.
I got to the place FINALLY where I realized I cant really control anything. I let go and let God and life has never been better. But, I find myself perplexed by what my job is. What God wants from me? Am I living in a way that would please God, yes. But I want to do more than that.
I am ready to do what God has put me here for. Im excited to learn but fail to find the answer. I pray about it but he wont tell me. I always walk away with a 'chill, you are doing what you should be doing' feeling that he probably places in my heart.
Im very confused.
Starry Girl
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Starry Night
Posts: 251
Hey BB,
Maybe having faith means blind faith too. I don't think HP always lays out our path straight and narrow in front for us to see. The fact that you are clean and sober, and willing and open to do "his" will is all you need right now. It can be frustrating when we feel our prayers aren't being answered, but most of the time, they are! We just can't see it yet.
Hugs!
Maybe having faith means blind faith too. I don't think HP always lays out our path straight and narrow in front for us to see. The fact that you are clean and sober, and willing and open to do "his" will is all you need right now. It can be frustrating when we feel our prayers aren't being answered, but most of the time, they are! We just can't see it yet.
Hugs!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
God wants me to use the best of my talents and abilities to make the world a better place. To do that, I must stay clean/sober, practice spiritual/moral principles (12 steps, etc.), work hard and have fun. The key to all of this is honesty with myself and my God: what is it that I enjoy doing? What am I good at? To find out the answers to those questions, I need to look inside myself and also be willing to experiments with different things to see what works and what doesn't. I may not supposed to be a singer, or astronaut, or accountant, but there is something that I can do for the world, in addition to staying clean/sober and doing the right thing.
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
Hey, [beachbabe]. Thanks for sharing.
The title to your thread, is that a line from an old song "Knockin' on Heaven's Door"? What does that tell you?
You can't control anything? Wrong, hon. So wrong. You know it. The bad news is, the only person you can change is yourself. The good news is, you can change yourself. Proof? You've done it, you sobered up. Almost six months ago! How wonderful, amazing, spectacular, inspiring and what a gift from God!
Are you practicing Step Eleven? "Sought, through prayer and meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out"? (I may not have the wording perfect, I didn't look it up, that's from memory.) Give yourself a break! Maybe he wrote you the following letter:
Dear Beachbabe,
I don't need your help today.
Love, God
He writes me that letter often. All I do is report for duty every day. All I do is what you're doing, live right, stay sober, help when I can, let others help me even when I don't think I need it.
And every once in a while, sometimes several times in a day, sometimes not at all for a long, long time, I say something, share something, take some action that when I look back on it is God-inspired. (I THINK!) Last week I was a hospital visitor for my church. I visited two people (that's all there were, some weeks there's none) and both visits required extraordinary action and words that I didn't think I had in me. God gave me what I needed (inspiration) when I needed it.
"Chill, you're doing what you should be doing." From God? Likely. I am too. When He does give you something to do, brace yourself and be flexible and sincere, it'll probably stretch you.
I've been sober over 17 1/2 years. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
The title to your thread, is that a line from an old song "Knockin' on Heaven's Door"? What does that tell you?
You can't control anything? Wrong, hon. So wrong. You know it. The bad news is, the only person you can change is yourself. The good news is, you can change yourself. Proof? You've done it, you sobered up. Almost six months ago! How wonderful, amazing, spectacular, inspiring and what a gift from God!
Are you practicing Step Eleven? "Sought, through prayer and meditation, to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out"? (I may not have the wording perfect, I didn't look it up, that's from memory.) Give yourself a break! Maybe he wrote you the following letter:
Dear Beachbabe,
I don't need your help today.
Love, God
He writes me that letter often. All I do is report for duty every day. All I do is what you're doing, live right, stay sober, help when I can, let others help me even when I don't think I need it.
And every once in a while, sometimes several times in a day, sometimes not at all for a long, long time, I say something, share something, take some action that when I look back on it is God-inspired. (I THINK!) Last week I was a hospital visitor for my church. I visited two people (that's all there were, some weeks there's none) and both visits required extraordinary action and words that I didn't think I had in me. God gave me what I needed (inspiration) when I needed it.
"Chill, you're doing what you should be doing." From God? Likely. I am too. When He does give you something to do, brace yourself and be flexible and sincere, it'll probably stretch you.
I've been sober over 17 1/2 years. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
Posts: 308
So to be serene and know you are living in a way that pleases God is actually enough for him? He saved me and I owe him. I am ready to re-pay.
As I read through the posts I got so much out of it. When I see an elderly woman putting groceries in her car, I do it for her. That may be all God expects from me now. I am new to recovery so maybe he just wants me to rest awhile.
Im just so excited to feel some kind of sign that I am on his path.
He took away all the pain
The anger
The aggression
The hole in my heart
And rid me of the urge to use, amen.
Hey! I know what I can control that would make me feel better. I have a potty mouth. Im changing that today. Right now.
Thank you all so much for even attempting to answer a guestion the world has tried to figure out themselves. Its like, now I know me... the real me. Now, what do I do?
As I read through the posts I got so much out of it. When I see an elderly woman putting groceries in her car, I do it for her. That may be all God expects from me now. I am new to recovery so maybe he just wants me to rest awhile.
Im just so excited to feel some kind of sign that I am on his path.
He took away all the pain
The anger
The aggression
The hole in my heart
And rid me of the urge to use, amen.
Hey! I know what I can control that would make me feel better. I have a potty mouth. Im changing that today. Right now.
Thank you all so much for even attempting to answer a guestion the world has tried to figure out themselves. Its like, now I know me... the real me. Now, what do I do?
New things have come to light
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Downtown Nashville , TN
Posts: 306
i have come to three conclusions since being sober. there is a GOD, I'm not him, and i will never understand his will for me. All i can do is pray for the knowlegde of his will for me and the power to carry that out, and just go on about my day. I know what his will isnt for me(drinking) so if i do the opposite then i should be ok.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
Posts: 308
God is calling me to work with kids that cant hear or speak. I have always had a fondness for sign language because my best friend in 3rd grade was deaf.
So, for us to talk and play, I had to learn her language... mine was of no use to her. I can sign as fast as an impaired person but Im sure I need brushed up. I have a law degree but no degree for this.
Is this going to mean 4 more yrs of school on top of undergrad and law school? Speech Therepist I suppose they are referred to. Then Pathologist.
I know how good it would feel to walk into classrooms to see my kids, She was always elated when her teacher came! Remember it like it was yesterday... such a pretty girl, probably 25ish and everyone was always happy to see her!
So, for us to talk and play, I had to learn her language... mine was of no use to her. I can sign as fast as an impaired person but Im sure I need brushed up. I have a law degree but no degree for this.
Is this going to mean 4 more yrs of school on top of undergrad and law school? Speech Therepist I suppose they are referred to. Then Pathologist.
I know how good it would feel to walk into classrooms to see my kids, She was always elated when her teacher came! Remember it like it was yesterday... such a pretty girl, probably 25ish and everyone was always happy to see her!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
One never knows what the future holds, why we're here, where we're going (nor would we really want to know such information) but that we ARE still here despite the odds suggests there must be some reason or purpose...
All day I've been toying with the question of why am I still here, tired of fighting, ready to give up trying. Frustrated. Confused! Looking for an out. The phrase, "We keep what we have by giving it away" came to mind. Thinking maybe that's the out I'm looking for, I just tried donating blood, but was rejected, low iron count. So maybe I'm supposed to keep my blood and use that energy for something else? I don't know, but willing to go where I'm led. Not follow MY will because that's going to lead me to places I should not be. So now I follow where I'm led and have faith that the answer will come to me. It led me here to the library, I found your thread, and NEEDED to read through the words you've received on this subject, and respond. It appears that the answers are out there, we just need to be observant and in-tune to perceive of them. Can't well do that if not coherent, aware and engaged. Simply doing the right thing for the right reasons will lead us down the right path. I think you're right in "life-long student". There's always more to learn...
All day I've been toying with the question of why am I still here, tired of fighting, ready to give up trying. Frustrated. Confused! Looking for an out. The phrase, "We keep what we have by giving it away" came to mind. Thinking maybe that's the out I'm looking for, I just tried donating blood, but was rejected, low iron count. So maybe I'm supposed to keep my blood and use that energy for something else? I don't know, but willing to go where I'm led. Not follow MY will because that's going to lead me to places I should not be. So now I follow where I'm led and have faith that the answer will come to me. It led me here to the library, I found your thread, and NEEDED to read through the words you've received on this subject, and respond. It appears that the answers are out there, we just need to be observant and in-tune to perceive of them. Can't well do that if not coherent, aware and engaged. Simply doing the right thing for the right reasons will lead us down the right path. I think you're right in "life-long student". There's always more to learn...
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