The hurdle I can't seem to get over
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: home of the liquid sunshine-Florida
Posts: 294
hi Jennifer, I am Star and I am an alcoholic. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. I know it can be hard to open up and actually be honest about your addiction.
I have known that I am an alco. for years, it has only been in the last 7 days that I have admitted it to ANYONE else.
You seem to be beginning your journey. To me, the first thing might be admitting you have a problem, but the next is you have to WANT to stop, you have to see beyond a shadow of a doubt if you keep it up your life will NOT be good. It may end in DWI, jail, or death. There are so many other possibilities, I believe death and complete lack of self worth to be the worst.
I may not be able to preach and I apologize if it sounds like that, I have 7 days, but they have been some of the GREATEST days in a LONG time.
I felt so good yesterday, I went to 2 meetings. I was afraid if I started to feel so good, that I just might start thinking about having that drink. I also have to remember to give credit where credit is due. God, AA and SR have given me these 7 days.
I MUST NOT!!!! UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES pick it up.
If you are not involved in AA or NA may I strongly suggest it. You dont have to go in there believing 100% of the spirituality of which they refer to, you just have to have the DESIRE to stop drinking or using. It is absolutely true, Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I wish you nothing but the absolute BEST, be strong, come here, go to a meeting whatever it takes to keep from picking it up just for today.
Star
I have known that I am an alco. for years, it has only been in the last 7 days that I have admitted it to ANYONE else.
You seem to be beginning your journey. To me, the first thing might be admitting you have a problem, but the next is you have to WANT to stop, you have to see beyond a shadow of a doubt if you keep it up your life will NOT be good. It may end in DWI, jail, or death. There are so many other possibilities, I believe death and complete lack of self worth to be the worst.
I may not be able to preach and I apologize if it sounds like that, I have 7 days, but they have been some of the GREATEST days in a LONG time.
I felt so good yesterday, I went to 2 meetings. I was afraid if I started to feel so good, that I just might start thinking about having that drink. I also have to remember to give credit where credit is due. God, AA and SR have given me these 7 days.
I MUST NOT!!!! UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES pick it up.
If you are not involved in AA or NA may I strongly suggest it. You dont have to go in there believing 100% of the spirituality of which they refer to, you just have to have the DESIRE to stop drinking or using. It is absolutely true, Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I wish you nothing but the absolute BEST, be strong, come here, go to a meeting whatever it takes to keep from picking it up just for today.
Star
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for sharing your struggles with us as it lets us know that we are not alone. I can seem myself in your words. I relate to you so much...I have certainly had my share of struggles along the way and it definitely hasn't been easy. I kept holding on to that self-will and trying to control things that were beyond my control. As long as I refused to surrender, I continued to relapse and get worse and worse. I kept relapsing and losing more each time. I went to any lengths to get to that point...drugs and alcohol kept me sick.
...Finally, I hit a point of surrender and had to not only have the desire to stop but the willingness to do what it took to STAY stopped. Half measures availed me nothing. I kept fighting against it and I kept getting swept away downstream.. absolutely a nightmare. Today, I am doing stuff that I don't feel like doing to stay sober but if I had waited around until I felt like doing it, my addiction probably would have destroyed me even more or worse, killed me.
Jennifer, you are not the only one who struggles. I know you can do this. There will be bad days but keep the faith that you can get through it.
Hang in there and stay strong!
Thanks for sharing your struggles with us as it lets us know that we are not alone. I can seem myself in your words. I relate to you so much...I have certainly had my share of struggles along the way and it definitely hasn't been easy. I kept holding on to that self-will and trying to control things that were beyond my control. As long as I refused to surrender, I continued to relapse and get worse and worse. I kept relapsing and losing more each time. I went to any lengths to get to that point...drugs and alcohol kept me sick.
...Finally, I hit a point of surrender and had to not only have the desire to stop but the willingness to do what it took to STAY stopped. Half measures availed me nothing. I kept fighting against it and I kept getting swept away downstream.. absolutely a nightmare. Today, I am doing stuff that I don't feel like doing to stay sober but if I had waited around until I felt like doing it, my addiction probably would have destroyed me even more or worse, killed me.
Jennifer, you are not the only one who struggles. I know you can do this. There will be bad days but keep the faith that you can get through it.
Hang in there and stay strong!
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