Not sure what to say
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Idaho
Posts: 1
Not sure what to say
I found this site a while ago and saved it under my favorites. I have never had the nerve to even check it out until tonight.
A little background and then I will just hang back and attempt to find my way here.
I am 41 years old, mother of three girls. Have been married to my husband for almost 9 years. Second marriage. So happy God blessed me with him. He is in the military and in a certain part of the desert until 7/07. He left 3/06.
To sum it all up as shortly as possible, I have been a partier (drinking only, beer, not anything else, can't handle it and don't like it) since I was about 25. First one there, last one to leave type of thing.
The past 2 years the drinking has become every other day, maybe a 4-6 day stretch in between there somewhere.
I don't understand this and I want to. I want to stop! I have to. I have a family whom I love!!
I never understood how alcohol could take you over. I used to think it was a joke. Not anymore. The joke is on me.
I am very afraid and feel very, very alone. There is no one within my family, immediate or otherwise, that I can talk to.
So, with that said I am going to get my girls ready for bed and return later this evening to check out the site.
Please know that just this post has taken a lot for me. Can I be proud of just this one post?!?
A wonderful evening to you all.
A little background and then I will just hang back and attempt to find my way here.
I am 41 years old, mother of three girls. Have been married to my husband for almost 9 years. Second marriage. So happy God blessed me with him. He is in the military and in a certain part of the desert until 7/07. He left 3/06.
To sum it all up as shortly as possible, I have been a partier (drinking only, beer, not anything else, can't handle it and don't like it) since I was about 25. First one there, last one to leave type of thing.
The past 2 years the drinking has become every other day, maybe a 4-6 day stretch in between there somewhere.
I don't understand this and I want to. I want to stop! I have to. I have a family whom I love!!
I never understood how alcohol could take you over. I used to think it was a joke. Not anymore. The joke is on me.
I am very afraid and feel very, very alone. There is no one within my family, immediate or otherwise, that I can talk to.
So, with that said I am going to get my girls ready for bed and return later this evening to check out the site.
Please know that just this post has taken a lot for me. Can I be proud of just this one post?!?
A wonderful evening to you all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Finding out what I have been missing!
Posts: 1,011
You sould be very proud of yourself, you have taken the leap and admitted to yourself that you have problem.. You'll be glad you came here, I am new too and am finding a whole lot of support.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Oh ASM, Welcome and be very proud of yourself.
You know I was in my mid-forties when I started drinking (never drank before that) and I was shocked to find that I became alcoholic in no time at all. It's surprising how alcohol can take control so quickly and completly. But, you need to know it doesn't have to be like that. You can stop drinking and we're here to offer support and information.
You know I was in my mid-forties when I started drinking (never drank before that) and I was shocked to find that I became alcoholic in no time at all. It's surprising how alcohol can take control so quickly and completly. But, you need to know it doesn't have to be like that. You can stop drinking and we're here to offer support and information.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 859
ASMWelcome!!!!!!! YES!!!!! Be VERY proud, your taking steps in the right direction!!!!! You are NOT alone!!!!!! There are sooooo many people here to talk to and many who can give you a boatload of advice!!!! Also, the support is unbelieveable!!!! I am a bigtime beer drinker ........love the poison. I am now 12 days sober as of today, it hasnt been easy but this site has been The most help so far!!!!!
Keep posting, check out the different forums and decide what you want to do next, ie. meetings etc.
You have realized you need to stop, and you have made the first move, you can do this!!!!! One Day at a time hun!!!!!
Liss
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In Harmony with Nature
Posts: 30
The beauty is that it doesn't need to make sense. Just stay away from alcohol and it will all start making sense finally! I love having clarity by being sober. I wish you all the best!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
I'm glad that you are here reaching out. You are not alone! We all understand what you are going through and I really hope to see more of you here on SR. This place is a great source of encouragement, support, and friendship.
You are doing something to be proud of. It isn't easy to admit that there is a problem, but you have courage as you have already shown. That courage and determination will help you on your journey. Of course, always remember that you do not have to travel the journey alone. We are all here right behind you supporting you 100%!
You are doing something to be proud of. It isn't easy to admit that there is a problem, but you have courage as you have already shown. That courage and determination will help you on your journey. Of course, always remember that you do not have to travel the journey alone. We are all here right behind you supporting you 100%!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome and Hello!
For understanding alcoholism...I recommend...
"Under The influence"
and it's sequel
"Beyond The Influence"
they are carried by Amazon
Congratulations on seeking answers!
Blessings to you and your family.
For understanding alcoholism...I recommend...
"Under The influence"
and it's sequel
"Beyond The Influence"
they are carried by Amazon
Congratulations on seeking answers!
Blessings to you and your family.
Trying to do the right thing.
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Hi Ash, well done and thank you for your post,as many have said,Welcome to SR,im only dry 5.75 dys today. Thanks to SR.
simimlar to you i never thought alchol would be a problem for me
they lied else were for me.! but within a year of drinking
a half to whole bottle of brandy, yer that was a problem....
You've come to the right place.......loads of surpport.....
Thank You SR..
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
(((******[[[ASM]]]}}}))). Lotsa great big hugs for you.
The first thing you have to do to solve a problem is admit you have one. Congratulations. You just did. I'm proud of you. Your husband probably will be too.
So what are you going to do about it? Seek help, wherever it may be found. You just did. I'm proud of you.
Alcoholism is progressive. You understand that. Good. You're already way ahead of most newcomers! The only result of untreated alcoholism is insanity or death. One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Again, you're already there and you know it.
"I don't understand this and I want to." UH-OH! RED FLAG! I don't understand it either, and I'm 50, been sober in AA over 17 years. I don't have to understand any more than I already did shortly after I joined AA. I'm sure I have another drunk in me, but I don't know if I have another sobering-up. I'm sure my alcoholism has progressed during my sobriety, and that if I drank again, I wouldn't pick up where I left off, I'd drink as though I'd never quit. I'd probably die pretty quick. And even after all these years, all I'm trying to do is stay away from one drink - the first one - for one day - today. One day at a time, that's the only way I can handle it, even now. Sure it's a lot easier than it was after all this practice. I'm getting real good at it. But I'll never be cured. I'm one drink away from a drunk. I always will be. Today I'm working at staying sober today. Tomorrow, if I wake up, I'll work at staying sober then.
To get back to your share, booze is booze. Beer can kill you too. Alcoholism is not a joke, it's a serious disease that kills. The only way to defeat it is complete remission accompanied by spiritual awareness. You never have to be alone again. You never have to drink again. There are rooms full of people all over the world who want to help you. We need to help you because we'll stay sober by helping you. Please let us. Come to AA. We're waiting for you. Get a sitter.
You can be very proud of your one post. Keep posting. Let us know how you're doing.
Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
The first thing you have to do to solve a problem is admit you have one. Congratulations. You just did. I'm proud of you. Your husband probably will be too.
So what are you going to do about it? Seek help, wherever it may be found. You just did. I'm proud of you.
Alcoholism is progressive. You understand that. Good. You're already way ahead of most newcomers! The only result of untreated alcoholism is insanity or death. One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Again, you're already there and you know it.
"I don't understand this and I want to." UH-OH! RED FLAG! I don't understand it either, and I'm 50, been sober in AA over 17 years. I don't have to understand any more than I already did shortly after I joined AA. I'm sure I have another drunk in me, but I don't know if I have another sobering-up. I'm sure my alcoholism has progressed during my sobriety, and that if I drank again, I wouldn't pick up where I left off, I'd drink as though I'd never quit. I'd probably die pretty quick. And even after all these years, all I'm trying to do is stay away from one drink - the first one - for one day - today. One day at a time, that's the only way I can handle it, even now. Sure it's a lot easier than it was after all this practice. I'm getting real good at it. But I'll never be cured. I'm one drink away from a drunk. I always will be. Today I'm working at staying sober today. Tomorrow, if I wake up, I'll work at staying sober then.
To get back to your share, booze is booze. Beer can kill you too. Alcoholism is not a joke, it's a serious disease that kills. The only way to defeat it is complete remission accompanied by spiritual awareness. You never have to be alone again. You never have to drink again. There are rooms full of people all over the world who want to help you. We need to help you because we'll stay sober by helping you. Please let us. Come to AA. We're waiting for you. Get a sitter.
You can be very proud of your one post. Keep posting. Let us know how you're doing.
Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 136
Good for you...you reached out for help. That can often be one of the hardest steps. ABSOLUTELY be proud of your post. Like everyone says, one day at a time. We have faith in you. Like others said, visit other forums. You can get almost any kind of feedback you are looking for on this site. We'll be thinking about you.
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 100
Well done for recognising that you have a problem. I can identify with what you say, I am also on a second relationship with a wonderful man who makes me happy - as far as HE can (I have only just realised this!). I need to grow up and look at me for me, by me!
I have been where you are and started to progress from 'social' drinking to haevy social drinking and recently (oh course I had settled down so less partying!) a few wines 4 -5 times a week, to a bottle 4 -5 times a week, to 2 bottles several times a week (hiding the second and pretending I wasnt having it, as if he couldn't tell how out of my face I was!). I started to get drinks in in the day whilst I was off a couple of times - then went and got roaring drunk and gave some of my family a very nasty time (do this from time to time). This was my 'rock bottom (but you can get much further down the line). On day 30 today and doing well.
I tried to stop many times but I think that this was the 1st time I really accepted that I just could not control my drinking. My partner is so happy, although I only 'go off on one' rarely he hated that I drank so much.
You can tackle this, the shame is in not doing anything (because it would be a shame to lose what you have got - I include yourself in that) no shame in admitting that you have an illness that requires action.
Keep posting. Take care of yourself and your wonderful family.
I have been where you are and started to progress from 'social' drinking to haevy social drinking and recently (oh course I had settled down so less partying!) a few wines 4 -5 times a week, to a bottle 4 -5 times a week, to 2 bottles several times a week (hiding the second and pretending I wasnt having it, as if he couldn't tell how out of my face I was!). I started to get drinks in in the day whilst I was off a couple of times - then went and got roaring drunk and gave some of my family a very nasty time (do this from time to time). This was my 'rock bottom (but you can get much further down the line). On day 30 today and doing well.
I tried to stop many times but I think that this was the 1st time I really accepted that I just could not control my drinking. My partner is so happy, although I only 'go off on one' rarely he hated that I drank so much.
You can tackle this, the shame is in not doing anything (because it would be a shame to lose what you have got - I include yourself in that) no shame in admitting that you have an illness that requires action.
Keep posting. Take care of yourself and your wonderful family.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
welcome to SR!! Yes your first post is a resaon to feel prod. You have taken the first step which is very hard for many of us, and that is being able to admit not only to yourself, but to others that you have a problem. keep posting, there are alot of people that you will be able to relate to and get advice and support from. Coming to SR you will realize you are not alone, and people trully want to help.
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