Reia80

I've been telling myself that I was going to quit drinking for 5 years or so, maybe longer. I drink pretty much everyday at night. I always tell myself that I'll just have one but end up passing out after 6 or 7 strong ones. I don't know why. I tell myself it's so I can fall asleep easier because I hate those moments before sleep when you think of everything you've ever regretted doing in your life. I'm not sure. I took a self-assessment test on some random website and it stated that I drink 96.5% more than most people and 99% more than most women. I thought that after seeing that, I was sure to quit, but was drunk the next day.

The saddest part is that I usually drink alone now because I got sick of embarrassing myself in front of other people. I hide my phone from myself sometimes just so I won't call anybody & make a fool out of myself. I actually have stuck it in a drawer with a post-it attached to it that said "NO!" on it. What's terrible is that I drink & dial even though I do this. And it's not normal to start a movie and not remember the end, is it???

I've gone to about 5 AA meetings. The first 2, I drove through the parking lot too afraid to go in. After the following meetings, I always think, "Cool. This is a start. I'll go to meetings and I'll be fine." Honestly, I felt better after the meetings. But after a few hours, I start thinking, "Well, I don't want to have to go to meetings all my life. I'll be fine. I'll just not drink." And then I get home and it's like, "OK, I'll have 1 and just learn to cut down." And then I have to get up for work in the morning hung over...just like this morning. I need some confidence or some will power or SOMETHING. Any advice?

Timmm

Hey we have all been there ,So Heres my first advise to you,If you really and truly want to quit you need to empty the booze from your haouse so the temtation of one drink isnt there.

Next your doing the right thing ,You admit you have a problem and thats the most important part now you have to be strong and not buy any also.

You can do it ,I wont tell u its easy and all will go well cause im lying but It takes will power and with the help of places like us and AA u can beat this addictionand live a sober life.You have to stop thinking for yourself and listen to others cause i fyou listen to you ,you will drink again.


I want to welcome you To SR and I hope you keep Coming back we really do welcome you with Open Arms!!

Tim

aloneagainor

Greetings Reia. SO good you're looking at where you're at and here reaching out for help. Because for certain, as you've found, you cannot do this alone. Hiding and avoiding are inherent aspects of addiction, we do this to protect our use, and insulate/ isolate ourselves. But realize, it's addict-brain thinking protecting itself, you know it's not what YOU want or who YOU are. So long as you allow that thinking to be in charge and have control over your thoughts and actions, you remain in addiction and all that chaos that surrounds. But do know, that it does not have to be that way! You do not HAVE to ever use again! But that requires effort. YOU have to want to change, to DO what is necessary to begin the process of change. Willingness, Open-mindedness, and Honesty. That's my best advice. Are you willing? If you need encouragement, stick around, read, and write, you'll receive an ample supply here, to begin. And be given so many suggestions where you can proceed ahead from there. I wish you well in this journey.

GeorgiaPeach

I don't have any suggestions for you except to pay close attention to what everyone tells you and find something that works for you. I know it will be hard but well worth the effort in the end. Welcome to SR!

GP

CarolD

Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.
Alcoholism is a disease and it is progressive.
I suggest you get more factual info

My favorite book on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"

Both can be ordered from Amazon...

Glad to see a new member...we do understand and you are not alone.

Blessings...

FarTooMuch

Hi Reia80. I'm glad to see you here. I'm sure you will find alot of advise here, and I'm certain you will learn that your not alone.

I relate to almost all that you wrote. I only wish I had put some post it notes on the phone. I don't know WHY on earth we make those phone calls. I'm still trying to figure it out. I would literally start looking people up I haven't talked to in over 10 years and call them at strange hours of the night. Normally, I'm a pretty level headed person......but when the drink was in me, I'd become such a MESS. And the worst part, is I thought I was pretty cool at the time.

I too isolated myself after making a fool of myself on too many occassions. I drank ALONE, and always to the point of passing out.

I just started my recovery and will be going to a meeting this Friday. I'm scared as HECK but I'm more scared of not following through with my recovery.

Just remember that you don't have to think about going to meetings FOREVER or not Drinking FOREVER. Just think about "today" and get through "today" without a drink. That is the only advise I have, as I'm too new to give more.

By the way, how are you feeling today? Are you excited about recovery? Just think, if you stick with this, you'll never make another druken phone call. That in itself should bring a smile to yourself.

Focus on today, and the person you WANT to be, not the person you were.

A BIG hug and Welcome to You!!!!

Chy

The best advice I can give is to keep trying until your ready. Give AA a shot again if it made you feel good that time....and no you don't have to go to meetings everyday the rest of your life, you get sober in AA or any other program to live life. It's just nice knowing their is someplace to go on those tough days.

Luckyv2

Welcome to SR and we are very glad and pleased that you have came here. Yes addiction is a progressive and fatal disease, and untreated it can and will kill. There are many ways to treat the disease, but there is no way more effective than AA/NA. AA has been around now for 71 years and it has help millions to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body and spiritual. Do you have to go to meetings everyday? Well they told me when I arrived you go until you want to go. Well I go to 1-2 a day, that is how I treat my disease, and practice these principals in all of my affairs. I also heard once that if I can not practice all of these principles in all of my affairs then I might have too many affairs. Give yourself a break. We have all been where you are. Sending good thoughts your way.

Love Vic

JOY1115

Welcome to SR....This disease is a disease that tells us we do not have a disease!
Go back to AA, keep going until you want to go! I have been clean and sober for three years and I still go to 6 meetings a week. The folks at AA are accepting and they understand where you are at with your drinking...cause we all been there. Good Luck and Keep Coming Back

drew_61

Hi Reia...
If you are really ready to stop, I can tell you what I did. I went to the Rational Recovery site and took the "crash" course. You can only do this if you are sober, not even one drink. Only do it if you really want to stop, cos you will never be able to see your drinking in the same light again, really. Honestly, while I was taking this course, I could feel a change happening in me...and by the end of it? I knew I wouldn't drink again. It lays the onus of our addiction squarely on our shoulders, where it belongs. Good luck.

drew

kali ma

I am hardly one to give advise...I have only not been drinking for 3 days, but have you read the book "Drinking: A Love Story"? I had never heard of anyone describe her addiction so perfectly as how I felt exactly. You should take a look at it. Best of luck. I hope to hear from you soon.