aasharon90

Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

Can u share ur experiences u had in rehab? For me it was the beginning of living a new life without drinking. I dont ever want to forget that extraordinary episode in my life. I dont want to ever forget the lowest point in my life. For if i ever do...well the consequences will speak for themselves.

I entered rehab after my family did an intervention on me back in Aug. 1990. When did you enter rehab and how did u get there? For me, it was in the back of a handless police car. How did I feel? I felt ashamed and angry for what my family did to me. I felt like a hopeless criminal. How could my family do that to me? They did for me what i couldnt do for myself at the time. They were caught off guard and reached for help the best way they knew how.

After taking a hand full of pills in the wee hours of the morning wanting to end my life and a failed attempt by my kids to wake me up, the warning signs were up. It was faint ringing of the phone that got me out of bed which today i believe it was my Higher Power calling me to get up because He wasnt thru with me yet.

My family called the hopital first to get me admitted to get my stomach pumped, but because i had thrown up most of the crap in my system, i reassured them i was ok. Well they didnt buy that and so another step for the courts to issue something to have them take me to the looney hospital.

That was when i was led away in a police car heading to rehab. The court order was to keep me in treatment 2 weeks, but after completing those 2 weeks i was told i wouldnt stay sober on my own and had to go to a halfway house. I refused and asked if i could remain in rehab there for the entire 28 days followed by a 6 week aftercare outpatiant program. Hey, anything just to stay close to my little ones.

In treatment the first night i was monitored to make sure i wouldnt try to hurt myself. Then was set apart from all the other strange people which made me think i was a special case. The rooms had a fence on the windows. The wall outlets were filled in with plaster. Weird. : ) All my make up and cologne was taken from me because they thought i would drink it....yuk..! Who would drink cologne?

The next full day i spent being evaluated for my sanity. I flew thru those with flying colors. I really however felt sorry for all those other people i saw shuffling across the floor all hours of the day and night. I even made a few friends amongst them.

Anyway...i passed their test and was told i had a problem with alcohol and was sent upstairs to the Silkworth Dept that dealt with alcoholism. I spent most of my time there in my own room which again made me think i was being protected.

We had special times to get up in the morning and lights out a night. Morning ritual was to walk to the front desk for vital signs and take whatever meds u had to take. For me, i again felt like i was better than thou because i didnt have to take any kind of meds. Anyway....we dressed meet for group, exercise, group, lunch, group, after noon activities, supper, meeting and lights out.

For those in rehab longer than i were gathered and taken out of the hospital to an outside AA meeting. Hmmmmm ... I wanted to go... : ( so while others were out, i made a batch of popcorn for them when they returned. Yeah i thought i was being nice to everyone and that they would appreciated my efforts.....WRONG...everyone else was into their own selves. Pissed me off. : (

My family came to see me from time to time, but i had built up such a resent- ment esp. towards my husband that i brushed him off all the time.....it was my little ones that i missed the most and felt sorry that they had to be cared for by my in-laws and husband. Esp. since they r my kids and never wanted anyone else to touch them. Selfish.

Anyway....i finally was let out to meetings and I will never ever forget how i felt that first time. Driving with my soon to be Sponsor. The innerstate never looks sooo fINE. It was like i was in prison all my life and that was the first time to be let out. The world look sooo AWESOME. : )

Well, my 28 days ended finally and i had attached myself to a SICK person there in treatment and was ready to end my marriage and run off with him. I figured he was the only one on my side and understood me that my only choice in life was to leave with him. Well he still had time to spend in rehab and i was picked up by my husband.

I was still hurting soooo much and all i could remember was the anger and resentments i had towards him. Anyway....i moved one with my program using the tools shared with me. I went to meetings, called my sponsor read my big book and held on tight. Went to my aftercare program and began to feel a good about my recovery so far. There were pink clouds i road and some dark ones but i never gave up.

Today im still doing what i began to do from the beginning. I still remain willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober one day at a time.

I look forward to reading ur experiences in rehab to keep my own fresh in my mind.

Thanks for letting me share.

Luckyv2

Ummmm I didn't go to rehab, unless you call NA/AA rehab

Love Vic

lostinnocence

Im not doing the rehab thing either... Dont know why... Suppose I dont NEED it. Im lucky I guess, in that I have have a loving and VERY supportive family around me, IM VERY LUCKY, from some of the members stories I have read.
However... I have my first meeting tomorrow morning The only problem is that the mornings are hardest for me. It used to be so easy, Id get out of bed, get my son off to school (well he got himself off to school but Id be up and seemed to have purpous in my day) then Id have my breaky (that I have done since just b4 taking up the habbit last year when I was admitted into hospital with seminolla-food poisioning), then id sit down and relax with my meth pipe b4 showering and off into my day....

Now, I find it hard to pull myself out of bed in the morning, its like I have nothing to look foward to, at least no more pipe.

Its late here in Perth - the most isolated city in the world, and Im going to have to put myself to bed now, in the hope that sleep comes easier for me tonight and that I get to my first meeting in the morning. So wish me luck. I'll let you know how my first meeting goes if you like? ;-)

aasharon90

Thanks Vic and lostinnocence for ur thoughts.

Any kind of rehab, so others as well as myself can can see what ur experience was like in rehab. Do u remember ur experience? Was it helpful? I know not everyone has had to go to rehab to get sober, but for the ones that may be anticipating a trip to rehab or need to do a family intervention on someone,then this would help them get a better insite of what it was like for us to go thru it. Does that make sense?

When i went to rehab i was mixed in with drugs addicts and alcoholic and we all uses the same technique to get the help we needed there.

Just share what u did while u spent either 2 weeks or a month or longer....or maybe it was just for detoxing.

Thanks for letting me share.

tyler

I went to rehab twice and would love to say it was a life changing experience that solved all of my problems, but that just wasn't the case for me.

I will say, however, that I did learn a great deal from both of my stints there. The first time, I was more or less forced to go. It was a very traditional 12-step format program. I gained alot of insight into my problems in the group therapy, but was never truly able to get my arms around the entire 12 step philsophy. I stayed clean for almost a month after getting home and then started using the time I was supposed to be at "meetings" as an excuse to go out and get high.

The second time I went by my own choice. I was pretty much at the end of my rope and called a place that said they had a 24 hour help line. I expected to get some kind of answering service but instead had the other line picked up by the owner and founder of the center. We talked for about 20 min and he said he would hold a bed for me if I promised I would be there within 48 hours. I drove down there (it was in FL and I was in NC at the time) the next day. It was a very non-traditional program, though still firmly based in the 12 steps. It was an extremely helpful program in which I learned a great deal, but I guess I still wasn't "ready". I ended up checking out 3 days early and using almost immediately.

Neither of these experiences should reflect poorly on either of the programs. The fact is, I just hadn't made the choice to commit to quit. I don't use any particular program, I come from the school of "use what you want and leave the rest behind". I've taken from the various 12-step programs, Lifering, SMART, RR, CBT, meditation, and other random books I have read.

I guess what I'm saying is that no rehab is going to keep you clean, except for the time you are there, and if you are really determined, you can still get high there too!! The choice is inside you and only you can do the work needed to succeed.

Well, those are my experiences, hope it helped. Take care.

aasharon90

Thanks Tyler for sharing ur ESH with me. I appreciate it. Im glad that u seeked the help needed when u were so desperate for it at that time in ur life. Just being aware of the countless sources of help available when we need it.

And letting others know from our own ESH that these sources r available if we desperately want it whether it be rehab, detox AA or NA.

lulu70

Thanks for the thread, Sharon. Hopefully it will really help someone.

I went to rehab in February, 2004. I went voluntarily because my last drunk had led me to showing up at work drunk as a skunk. I was the director of a before and after school program--caring for other people's children--so it was truly unconscionable for me to abuse my position like that. I knew I was going to lose my job. I decided to go to treatment not because I knew I never wanted to drink again, but because I knew it was the only way my family would help me.

I started out going to day treatment from 8am-4:30pm. I quickly became convinced that I could no longer drink, but I couldn't give up the pot. I had great intentions and couldn't understand why I couldn't stop, and continued to smoke each night when I got home.

After two weeks of that, I finally confessed to my therapist that I needed more help. (They were about to find out anyway, because we were drug tested a couple of times a week.) They immediately admitted me for inpatient treatment and the true journey began.

We were kept SO busy in treatment. Our days began with a morning meditation at 7:00am. Then we had exercise class, process group (group therapy), and lunch. After lunch we had more classes and individual therapy. Dinner was at 4:30. If you were lucky, you got to go out to a meeting in the evening. If not, you had more classes until 9pm. Then we had to do chores, and an evening meditation at 9:30pm. There was hardly time to breathe, but it helped to save me and keep me from obsessing about the missing drugs and alcohol.

I, too, found that I missed my daughter immensely. However, I am grateful to have had the time to focus only on myself. I needed that time. I wouldn't be able to be the mom I am now without it.

What I found most beneficial about treatment was the group therapy. Those sessions could be so intense. We learned to trust people there. We learned that other people had done many of the horrible things we had done. We learned to love ourselves again.

I found my AA sponsor while I was in treatment. I have continued with AA since then and can hardly believe the growth that has taken place. I know I still have ALOT to learn, but I am getting better everyday. Today I am grateful for all of my experiences with recovery because without them I'm not sure where I would be right now.

If you are considering entering treatment, I highly suggest it. It could save your life!

aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.


Thanks Laura-Lu for ur wonderful share.

Now that's what im talking about!!!

Just to know i wasnt alone in going thru rehab. I wanted someone who understood treatment like i did. To share the things we had to endure during those days trying to stay sober.

I mostly enjoyed the physical part of the program. Wasnt much on the thinking part. Anyway...i recall stading in a circle with one person in the middle. That person had to learn to trust the people around them and allow themselves to fall into their hands. Now that was scarry because i had and still do have trust problems. But to trust ur life to someone else? Or was it SOMEONE else? Like Ur Higher Power?

Then we had this exercise called ROPES.

Does anyone recall this program?

What i remember on this physical exercise was that it was pretty cool. This too called for trust. Trusting in urself. I remember having to climb this telephone pole, and we were all harnessed up for safety, but to climb it solo till u reached the top. The top was a small flat circle that u had to pull urself up on and stand up on top. YIKES..! I did stand on the top with much determination and from there u had to reach out and jump towards a trapez bar hanging out in front of u. Oh NOOOOO..!

I didnt stand on top for long due to shaking and fear of falling off, so i took a deep breath and reach out very far hoping to catch the swinging bar. YES, I DID IT. : ) I thought to myself wow and i had room to spare. Once i caught the bar i had to let go and free fall to the ground. Again trusting ur life in the hands of others. My councilor told me that the expression on my face showed it all. I then felt so proud of myself. I completed this task with room to spare and NO ALCOHOL. YES..!!!! : )

The rest of my stay was rough esp having to complete the first 3 steps before leaving. That was difficult because i couldnt comprehend anything that was being talked about. I tried to fake it all the way thru.

I also remebered how i was encouraged to show up to a session without wearing makeup. NO WAY..! : ) I guess this was an exercise to show as we begin to learn to stay sober, the peels of fakeness begin to fall away. Hmmm....i like dressing up and looking nice and smelling good. Its just the feminine part of being a women. Anyway....i did TRY to come to group with little color to my face but i couldnt do it all the way. I was however comp-limented on my efforts as they knew i really couldnt do it.

Today...as time has passed being sober, i am slowing realizing i dont have to impress others. Just the Man upstairs. In His eyes we are all His children and He loves us just as we are. : ) Thank God for that.

Well....i did graduate from my 28 day treatment and began my after care program which led me where i am today. I am very grateful for the programs available to us to help us learn to get sober and clean and stay sober and clean.

Anyone else have experience the same thing in rehab or treatment whether it be drugs or alcohol or anything else.

Sharing with others gives them hope for a new life outside chemicals.

Thanks for letting me share.

tyler

My ex works for a substance abuse facility, and they have a ropes course. I've never done it myself, though she had to do it as part of her training. She said it was a wonderful experience, though it would terrifying experience for me as I have a fear of heights, though I guess conquering your fears is part of the point of the exercise. She said it is very effect with many of her clients. Take care.

Smyle

My H works with a program like that too...I did it once with them and learned alot and had a new perspective about my hubbies job... I too have been to rehab like 4 times .....2 my choice ..2 per the state... I learned the most the last time....though they gave me the tools I never used them and still struggle.
But the time between relapses has gotten farther apart and though I am involved in lots of things...like tyler i take away the things that work for me...I still know I am always vunerable to using..... want to right now....They could send me to rehab every 3 months and I will still want to use when I get out..
I make the choice today not to use and that is the best I can do for today.