I can do this!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In Harmony with Nature
Posts: 30
I can do this!!!!
Hello everyone,
Let me tell you a bit about me. I am a Stay at Home Mom with two lovely kids. A little 3yr old boy and a 9 month old baby girl who keep me on my toes!! I take care of the kids while my hubby goes out into the world and works full time. I sometimes need to remind myself that i have a job too but I guess since it is not a defined job persay where i get a paycheque coming in it feels different. Anyhow I have been trying to get sober off and on now for over 10 yrs. I have quite drinking when I was pregnant but seem to go back to it afterwards. I have been on and off for so many years i can't even keep track. I am a closet binge drinker so typical thing for me to do would be to pick up a mickey of vodka and drink it all in one sitting after the kids were in bed. Then the next day I would feel like absolute hell and spend the whole day feeling sorry for myself. As a result I would stay sober all day. The next day the shame would eat me alive so I would maybe stay sober one more day but eventually go back to it again. And the vicious cycle would continue. My husband would somehow find out I had a drink again and then he would be dissapointed in me me so i would feel worse about myself and so on and so on. Anyhow i am here to say i am going to break this cycle right here and right now. Who is here with me? I know you are out there so please share your struggles with me as I know we can do this together. I have been sober for almost two days now and counting. I am here so I can keep this real. I am greatful for the clarity this sobritey has given me and there is no looking back. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself or beating myself up. This is a disease and does not define me as a human being. I am a worthwhile human being with a disease. I am also a great mother, I just need to stay sober and I can be an even more amazing mother. I want to have clarity and live with whatever comes my way. If I have a bad feeling I want to feel it not wish it away with a drink. I can do this!!!! Thanks for reading!!!!!
Let me tell you a bit about me. I am a Stay at Home Mom with two lovely kids. A little 3yr old boy and a 9 month old baby girl who keep me on my toes!! I take care of the kids while my hubby goes out into the world and works full time. I sometimes need to remind myself that i have a job too but I guess since it is not a defined job persay where i get a paycheque coming in it feels different. Anyhow I have been trying to get sober off and on now for over 10 yrs. I have quite drinking when I was pregnant but seem to go back to it afterwards. I have been on and off for so many years i can't even keep track. I am a closet binge drinker so typical thing for me to do would be to pick up a mickey of vodka and drink it all in one sitting after the kids were in bed. Then the next day I would feel like absolute hell and spend the whole day feeling sorry for myself. As a result I would stay sober all day. The next day the shame would eat me alive so I would maybe stay sober one more day but eventually go back to it again. And the vicious cycle would continue. My husband would somehow find out I had a drink again and then he would be dissapointed in me me so i would feel worse about myself and so on and so on. Anyhow i am here to say i am going to break this cycle right here and right now. Who is here with me? I know you are out there so please share your struggles with me as I know we can do this together. I have been sober for almost two days now and counting. I am here so I can keep this real. I am greatful for the clarity this sobritey has given me and there is no looking back. I am tired of feeling sorry for myself or beating myself up. This is a disease and does not define me as a human being. I am a worthwhile human being with a disease. I am also a great mother, I just need to stay sober and I can be an even more amazing mother. I want to have clarity and live with whatever comes my way. If I have a bad feeling I want to feel it not wish it away with a drink. I can do this!!!! Thanks for reading!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Newfie-Land, Mo
Posts: 1,623
thanks for sharing...you CAN do this....i too am a stay at home mom 6yr old and 4 yr old. I worked my whole life and also struggled with not bringing in an income.
Then I saw how happy my kids were/are that I can be there to take her to school ..get her home etc...my son (4) loves being here with me and we have gotten really close.
I have only recently been clean...had a serious drug problem that I have been fighting for 20 yrs. I am 33 and now on my path to recovery and redemtion.
It is work and I am not real sure somedays but that is gonna happen ..I go to a meeting or get on here and read....lots of great advice here and friends to share with...Welcome and glad you are here!!!!! You CAN do this..
Peace and love~B
Then I saw how happy my kids were/are that I can be there to take her to school ..get her home etc...my son (4) loves being here with me and we have gotten really close.
I have only recently been clean...had a serious drug problem that I have been fighting for 20 yrs. I am 33 and now on my path to recovery and redemtion.
It is work and I am not real sure somedays but that is gonna happen ..I go to a meeting or get on here and read....lots of great advice here and friends to share with...Welcome and glad you are here!!!!! You CAN do this..
Peace and love~B
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Finding out what I have been missing!
Posts: 1,011
I can relate, I too was able to quit when I was pregnant, I guess that gave me a false sense of security that I wasn't addicted. I also consider myself a closet binge drinker, I would hit the bottle(s) vodka was my first choice but almost anything would do all day go about my business and hope to stop soon enough to sober up before my husband came home. Today is day 2 for me, I am not worried about the weekdays, I really don;t look for a drink when I am working but any day I off, including all sumer long look out there is no stopping me.
I am glad to here you are here to stay, I am too. I am also tired of beating myself up. I find myself consumed by the guilt of my drinking so I drink and it becomes a terrible cycle. I do not want my kids to have a drunk for a mother. I know. I have a drunk for a father.
I am glad to here you are here to stay, I am too. I am also tired of beating myself up. I find myself consumed by the guilt of my drinking so I drink and it becomes a terrible cycle. I do not want my kids to have a drunk for a mother. I know. I have a drunk for a father.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
Hello, Bliss!
I'm with you!
I, too, am a stay at home mom. Your m.o. sounds a lot like mine (except wine was my thing), as does the whole cycle of drinking, feeling physically and mentally awful, not drinking for a day or two, then right back at it. I've been "mostly sober" now since Christmastime. It is such a RELIEF to be done with letting a liquid in a bottle run my life.
Do you get much time to read? (With your two little ones, I know that might not be high on the priority list!) One thing that really helped motivate me was the memoir, Drinking--A Love Story by Caroline Knapp. The whole time I read this I felt like this woman had been inside my brain--so much of what she wrote was EXACTLY the way I thought about and related with alcohol.
I believe you can do this! (You too, NYCGirl
) Stick around here and keep folks up to date with how you're doing. This is the best place on the internet.
Take care,
Jane
Originally posted by Bliss71:
Who is here with me?
Who is here with me?
I, too, am a stay at home mom. Your m.o. sounds a lot like mine (except wine was my thing), as does the whole cycle of drinking, feeling physically and mentally awful, not drinking for a day or two, then right back at it. I've been "mostly sober" now since Christmastime. It is such a RELIEF to be done with letting a liquid in a bottle run my life.
Do you get much time to read? (With your two little ones, I know that might not be high on the priority list!) One thing that really helped motivate me was the memoir, Drinking--A Love Story by Caroline Knapp. The whole time I read this I felt like this woman had been inside my brain--so much of what she wrote was EXACTLY the way I thought about and related with alcohol.
I believe you can do this! (You too, NYCGirl
) Stick around here and keep folks up to date with how you're doing. This is the best place on the internet.Take care,
Jane
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Bliss... Welcome!!
It's great to see you are seeking answers to your drinking.
... A sober parent is the best gift you can give your children.
Keep in focus..ask questions if you like..we do understand.
It's great to see you are seeking answers to your drinking.
... A sober parent is the best gift you can give your children.Keep in focus..ask questions if you like..we do understand.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Hi Bliss.....welcome to SoberRecovery 
Can't say much more after what Carol said....
Amen
Wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery, keep posting and asking questions, best teachers around, you've been blessed finding SR.
Hugs.......Denise
Can't say much more after what Carol said....
A sober parent is the best gift you can give your children.
Wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery, keep posting and asking questions, best teachers around, you've been blessed finding SR.
Hugs.......Denise
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