My Loss In Sobriety
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
My Loss In Sobriety
Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.Happy Thursday.
You know, none of us are really prepared for a loss in our lives. I always wondered how i would handle a situation if something or someone would pass on or die while in recovery. As a child my parents shielded me from death in the family and as an adult, i have not experience much of that either. Before i got sober i just thought i would numb my self from feeling those emotions. Then in early sobriety I always wondered if my program would be strong enough to protect me from feeling vunerable. Well.....15 yrs later I have experienced a loss and im ok. There is no deisre to drown my sorrows over the lost of a loved pet.
Today I loss one of my pets. Just before heading out to work this morning I realized my pretty yellow Cockatiel was laying on the bottom cage floor not moving. He's a pretty yellow bird with 2 orange circles on his cheeks and i called him Sunshine. He shared a large cage with a buddy Love Bird whom we call Peady. A cute little green bird. Both seem to enjoy each others company as i have cared for both for maybe 5, 6 yrs now.
I also have 2 wonderful boy cats who are brothers, Lucky and gus and 2 fish.
Growing up in a family of 6 we were not allowed to have pets so it wasnt untill I moved here to Houston 9 yrs ago that i finally gave in to wanting pets in the house.
I can not believe how much joy these pets have brought to my sober life. I call all of them my gifts in sobriety. I heard from other members in AA share about their own pets and the unconditional love we learn from them. And i have.
Anyway.....I returned home from work to enter my house hearing a Lynard Skynard song on the radio playing FREE BIRD. How awesome was that. It is sooo true as i think of my SUNSHINE being FREE up in heaven with John Denver. I had named my Cockatiel Sunshine from one of John's favorite signature songs. "Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy." : )
This afternoon i will lay him to rest in a pretty kleenex box before sending him on to his way to his Maker and having final closure to the joyous memories of a wonderful pet.
I will miss his cheerful whistles as he greeted me in the morning, afternoon and night.
Thanks for letting me share.
NA Rocks!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Location Location
Posts: 517
Aww, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Sweetie. I can completely feel your pain. We recently lost our dog, Maggie. She was 14 years old and her arthritis had gotten so painful, she had a stroke and fell down our stairs. My husband and I were devastated. Our beloved pets become such a huge part of our lives; every vacation, special outtings, pals to our kids growing up, allowing my daughter and her girlfriends to dress her up or paint her nails pink. We have another dog named Sibbie, two cats (mother and daughter; Annie and AJ) and a tank full of goldfish. We had her cremated and put her ashes in a beautiful cedar box. Not sure what we'll do with them; maybe scatter them over the Delta where she loved to swim.
God bless you, Sharon. Take care. Remember the happy, fun moments with joy.
Love, Kelly
Our sweet Maggie:
God bless you, Sharon. Take care. Remember the happy, fun moments with joy.
Love, Kelly
Our sweet Maggie:
lucy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Treasure Coast, Fl
Posts: 16
Sharon,
So sorry for your loss. I have been unfortunately through lots of loss in my life (mother, husband, brother), but I did that all while drunk. I am at a very fragile time in my sobriety and hope not to experience any loss soon.
I also have a dog and love him like my kids, I know what you are going thru.
So sorry for your loss. I have been unfortunately through lots of loss in my life (mother, husband, brother), but I did that all while drunk. I am at a very fragile time in my sobriety and hope not to experience any loss soon.
I also have a dog and love him like my kids, I know what you are going thru.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Thanks Kelly and Lucy for ur kind words.
A dog is something i havent experienced yet. Altho i dont think i would have any problems loving it just as much as my other pets.
I remember early in recovery, an older gentlemen who was instrumental in helping me stay sober, that had passed away. When my sponsor went away on a summer trip to Maine, she knew i was somewhat tough and thought i could take care of myself by doing what i was suppose to do...go to meetings and read my Big Book. My sponsor was awesome in introducing me to all ur AA friends and thus left me in good hands when she went away. She told me if i needed this gentleman then to feel free to call upon him because he worked a good program and i wouldnt have anything to fear from him. She assured me that i was in good hands. And so, i did see him at a meeting back home in Baton Rouge and shared with him how squirrely i was feeling and he gave me strict instruction as to what pages to read in the Big book and keep going to meetings. Sure enough that rough place i was in soon passed and my sponsor return home to find me still sober. : )
This older gentleman did pass away in my early sobriety and i did attend the wake but not the funeral. I was told that when someone passes its ok to grieve and then make an effort to attend the wake or funeral to finalize the situation. I didnt understand that at the time, but i think i do today.
I dont want to keep loose strings dangling so to speak, or unfinished business again so to speak, but to finalize or make peace with the person or thing that has passed on. If that makes sense.
Again, thanks for letting me share.
A dog is something i havent experienced yet. Altho i dont think i would have any problems loving it just as much as my other pets.
I remember early in recovery, an older gentlemen who was instrumental in helping me stay sober, that had passed away. When my sponsor went away on a summer trip to Maine, she knew i was somewhat tough and thought i could take care of myself by doing what i was suppose to do...go to meetings and read my Big Book. My sponsor was awesome in introducing me to all ur AA friends and thus left me in good hands when she went away. She told me if i needed this gentleman then to feel free to call upon him because he worked a good program and i wouldnt have anything to fear from him. She assured me that i was in good hands. And so, i did see him at a meeting back home in Baton Rouge and shared with him how squirrely i was feeling and he gave me strict instruction as to what pages to read in the Big book and keep going to meetings. Sure enough that rough place i was in soon passed and my sponsor return home to find me still sober. : )
This older gentleman did pass away in my early sobriety and i did attend the wake but not the funeral. I was told that when someone passes its ok to grieve and then make an effort to attend the wake or funeral to finalize the situation. I didnt understand that at the time, but i think i do today.
I dont want to keep loose strings dangling so to speak, or unfinished business again so to speak, but to finalize or make peace with the person or thing that has passed on. If that makes sense.
Again, thanks for letting me share.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hugs Sharon...
Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor: those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they each miss someone very special, someone who was left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent: his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, he breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...
*Author Unknown*
Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor: those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they each miss someone very special, someone who was left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent: his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, he breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together...
*Author Unknown*
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Sorry to hear for your loss, it is ruff, no matter what kind of animal it is. I had the same thing happen sober/clean. I didn't know if I could stay clean and sober when my Lucky died. It was so sad and very hard, but I managed to stay clean through it. I did relapse in February but not due to Lucky, just due to my self-centered ways. I had a thread on him here, actually two. Life is so precious, today, I took my new dog Chance out for an ice cream cone, and it was priceless to watch him eat his cone. He won't replace my Lucky, he has his own personality, just like all of us. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way for peace. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...r-journey.html
Love Vic
Love Vic
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Thanks Carol and Vic for your kind words during this sad time. I know tomorrow will be a new day and things will be fresh and bright. Oh , and extremely HOT down here in Houston. : )
I do believe my Sunshine is somewheres wonderful and that Rainbow Bridge place sound absolutely terrific. I had forgotten about hearing that story before with meeting our pets someday down the road and we reunite once again.
That has given me a brighter way of looking at this sad situation. Now its not sad anymore. It's hope and anticipation of what to look forward to down the road when we enter the Big AA Meeting in the Sky.
Vic, ur story as well was touching. I am very happy that u made it back to recovery and wish u all the best as u continue on ur journey learning a new and better way of living sober and clean. Just one day at a time.
Lots of love and care sent to u guys as well.
I do believe my Sunshine is somewheres wonderful and that Rainbow Bridge place sound absolutely terrific. I had forgotten about hearing that story before with meeting our pets someday down the road and we reunite once again.
That has given me a brighter way of looking at this sad situation. Now its not sad anymore. It's hope and anticipation of what to look forward to down the road when we enter the Big AA Meeting in the Sky.
Vic, ur story as well was touching. I am very happy that u made it back to recovery and wish u all the best as u continue on ur journey learning a new and better way of living sober and clean. Just one day at a time.
Lots of love and care sent to u guys as well.
alconaut
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Motor City
Posts: 729
(((Sharon)))..... hugs to you for the loss of your precious birdie. That was an inspiring post, and thanks for sharing.
Sometimes, I think that smaller crises and losses are good in preparation for dealing with bigger ones when/if they happen.
When my Mom had heart surgery at the end of April, it was a scary time, but it certainly wasn't as tragic as if she had died suddenly. I know at this point I couldn't have handled it with everything else going on.
But it seems with some hard times added to the mix, it strengthens us and helps us to grow in our sobriety.
Sometimes, I think that smaller crises and losses are good in preparation for dealing with bigger ones when/if they happen.
When my Mom had heart surgery at the end of April, it was a scary time, but it certainly wasn't as tragic as if she had died suddenly. I know at this point I couldn't have handled it with everything else going on.
But it seems with some hard times added to the mix, it strengthens us and helps us to grow in our sobriety.
duck amuck
Join Date: May 2006
Location: SoCal
Posts: 27
I'm very sorry to hear about that. I have a cockatiel and a pionus parrot, I know how the birds can cheer you up when nothing else can!
How is Peady handling it? Make sure you give him lots of attention, he's probably going to be grieving too!
How is Peady handling it? Make sure you give him lots of attention, he's probably going to be grieving too!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Hey Sharon,
That unconditional love between people and our beloved pets...I know it, feel it too. Heartfelt condolences to you. This morning before I left home I gave my dogs and cats and birds extra attention because I appreciate them so, and they completely love being so appreciated. Mutual exchange, mutual benefit. Love them while they're here.
That unconditional love between people and our beloved pets...I know it, feel it too. Heartfelt condolences to you. This morning before I left home I gave my dogs and cats and birds extra attention because I appreciate them so, and they completely love being so appreciated. Mutual exchange, mutual benefit. Love them while they're here.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Thanks so much Autumn, Done-With-It, Miss C, Lunkker and Aloneagainor for all ur touching and consoling words. YOU and they are so much APPRECIATED.
My Peady....litt'l green love bird can open the cage by himself now and let himself out to spread his wings and fly around. He's like a little firefly or spitfire. : ) Sunshine altho was much larger stayed close to home but i allowed him out occassionally to spread his wings as well.
This morning my husband asked me how long was i gonna leave Sunshine lay in state. I smiled. I guess I will lay him to rest in a garden sometime today.
I tell you what, i havent a clue as to how i will feel when the day comes when my 2 cats pass away. Growing up with out pets for so long and being shielded from death experiences I hope i have the courage and strength to endure such a loss. Altho Sunshine is a much smaller pet, his passing has touched me deeply. A much smaller task to practice on in preparation for something larger as u guys have shared.
Extra hugs and attention in order for all our pets today.
Thanks u guys for being here for me.
Have a pleasant day and if u ever need ur groceries bagged properly paying extra attention to not let ur bread, chips and eggs get crushed, i will place those items in a nice paper bag and send u off with a pat on ur shoulder and a smile as u travel on ur way. : )
My Peady....litt'l green love bird can open the cage by himself now and let himself out to spread his wings and fly around. He's like a little firefly or spitfire. : ) Sunshine altho was much larger stayed close to home but i allowed him out occassionally to spread his wings as well.
This morning my husband asked me how long was i gonna leave Sunshine lay in state. I smiled. I guess I will lay him to rest in a garden sometime today.
I tell you what, i havent a clue as to how i will feel when the day comes when my 2 cats pass away. Growing up with out pets for so long and being shielded from death experiences I hope i have the courage and strength to endure such a loss. Altho Sunshine is a much smaller pet, his passing has touched me deeply. A much smaller task to practice on in preparation for something larger as u guys have shared.
Extra hugs and attention in order for all our pets today.
Thanks u guys for being here for me.
Have a pleasant day and if u ever need ur groceries bagged properly paying extra attention to not let ur bread, chips and eggs get crushed, i will place those items in a nice paper bag and send u off with a pat on ur shoulder and a smile as u travel on ur way. : )
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Kansas City Missouri
Posts: 110
AA Sharon-
I am so sorry about Sunshine. Sounds like you gave him a very good life while he was on this earth and now he can look out for you from Heaven. I have a feeling you will still hear his whistles from time to time even though he is no longer physically present. I am an animal nut and can't even think about what I will do when my Daisy dog passes on. Sometimes, I hope she outlives me so I won't have to deal with it. Bless you and Sunshine.
Time4Change-What a beautiful girl. Was Maggie Akita, or part Akita? Just curious.
Take care all,
GJ
I am so sorry about Sunshine. Sounds like you gave him a very good life while he was on this earth and now he can look out for you from Heaven. I have a feeling you will still hear his whistles from time to time even though he is no longer physically present. I am an animal nut and can't even think about what I will do when my Daisy dog passes on. Sometimes, I hope she outlives me so I won't have to deal with it. Bless you and Sunshine.
Time4Change-What a beautiful girl. Was Maggie Akita, or part Akita? Just curious.
Take care all,
GJ
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Join Date: May 2005
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Originally Posted by daisy_j
Time4Change-What a beautiful girl. Was Maggie Akita, or part Akita? Just curious.
You're right, Maggie is part Akita. I believe she's an Akita/Black Lab mix. The sweetest, most gentle and loving dog I've ever known; loyal, selfless, forgiving, patient, happy, funny, and sweet. If only I could be just like her! It's definitely something to aim for, eh? What's that saying? Wish I could be the person my dog thinks I am? Something like that. Anyway, thanks for asking. Aasharon, how are you feeling today? Have you decided how you will lay your sweet bird to rest? I'm sending big hugs your way, Sweetie!
Love, Kelly
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Location: Baton Rouge, La.
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Thanks Hope4life, GJ and Kelly for ur kind words. Today i did lay my Sunshine to rest after a day lyeing in state. I placed him in a red kleenex box.....because red is my favorite color....hope Sunshine likes the color.... : )
and wrapped him in red knapkins. I found a shaded spot under a bush and placed him there. I know that his little soul has already been taken to a brighter place...Rainbow Bridge that Carol spoke about up top. I believe he is surrounded by many wonderful friends up there and one day he like all the other wonderful pets will be reunited with me and their masters. : )
Taking time to share with u guys my experience with my pet passing has made it much easier to deal with. To have the comfort and friendship of many here is totally awesome.
I hope i can be there for each of u when something less fortunate happens in ur clean and sober lives.
Enjoy ur day.
And thanks for letting me share once again.
and wrapped him in red knapkins. I found a shaded spot under a bush and placed him there. I know that his little soul has already been taken to a brighter place...Rainbow Bridge that Carol spoke about up top. I believe he is surrounded by many wonderful friends up there and one day he like all the other wonderful pets will be reunited with me and their masters. : )
Taking time to share with u guys my experience with my pet passing has made it much easier to deal with. To have the comfort and friendship of many here is totally awesome.
I hope i can be there for each of u when something less fortunate happens in ur clean and sober lives.
Enjoy ur day.
And thanks for letting me share once again.
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