lucyfoly

I was doing so good and then yesterday I put my self in a situation that screamed you can drink it's only beer and you had a problem with wine, not beer.

Got drunk and feel like crap today. On day 1 again.

Hope I pass two weeks next time.

aasharon90

Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

Glad ur here Lucy.

My question is, why would u think beer would be any different than wine? Wine, beer, near beer, boubon, scotch, whatever it is....ALCOHOL is ALCOHOL till the day u die. IT'S ALL POISON.

To drink for me, even a sip, is to die.

They say often enough in meetings that getting sober screws up ones drinking career. It will never be the same like it use to be. U can try all u want and recieve the same results.

Go to meetings, get a sponsor or someone u would feel comfortable sharing with and begin ur new journey of life sober ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Im here if u need me. I'll be happy to share more of my own experiences, strengths and hope with u if u have the DESIRE to stay sober and the WILLINGNESS to go to any lengths to do so.

Thanks for letting me share.

aasharon90

Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

I came into AA 15 yrs ago by the Grace of my Higher Power and a family intervention. My family did for me what i couldnt do for myself and for them i am truely grateful.

I began drinking during my late teen yrs till i turned 30. Drinking to numb the feelings of childhood physical, verbal, and emotional abuse at the hand of one of my parents. Due to her own disease with alcohol and pills and a bad childhood she also endured, i was the one of 4 siblings to take the brunt of the abuse.

I left home shortly after graduation to live on my own. I held down a full time job and responsibly took care of my finances and life till 82 when i got married. Sure i drank when i was single and partied and got sick and missed work and did all the things a sick person would do under the influence of alcohol.

I continued to drink and raise my 2 wonderful kids and kept an emmaculate home and driving myself crazy with perfection. It was Feb 90 when i was returning home from a local club at 2 am when i ran off the road hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the ground sending me to the hospital for 10 days.

They had to remove my punctured spleen or i would have bled to death along with numerous broken bones and contusions. I then healed nicely within a few months with help from pain pills.

Aug 90 rolled around and i took a drink. Not a good thing..! I tried to end my miserable life with downing some of those pain pills with wine and off to sleep i went to not want to wake up the next day.

Well that is not what happened. It was a faint ring of the phone next to my bed that allowed me to reach over to answer it. To this day I believe it was my Higher Power calling me to get up because He wasnt thru with me yet.

From there a family intervention took place where the police came to escort me to their handless back seat and off to rehab i went for 28 days. It was during that time that i recieved the tools and instruction of recovery. A Big Book. A 12X12 Step Book and a 24 Hour meditation book.

After i was released I attended a 6 week out-patiant aftercare program or else i was to be sent to a halfway house out of state away from my family. That is not want i wanted to do, so i took suggestions handed to me seriously. In fact several councilors told me i was a prime example of someone who would not make it sober.

Because of my stubborness and determination I wanted to prove them wrong. So i toughed it out going to meetings and going thru the motions, faking it like they said till i made it.

Today, i am sober. But just for today. I have collected a number of one days at a time to get to where i am today but that is it. 15 is just a number. If i allowed myself to stray away from my recovery or think i have this program under my belt or think im cured...then i will surely end up drunk, crazy or dead.

My soul purpose in my second chance of life is to help other alcoholic achieve sobriety by sharing my own experiences, strengths and hope with them. Take each day as it comes remaining ever so teachable and open-minded.

I may still have a chance sometime before i leave this earth to experience those promises offered to us in the Big Book. To achieve Happiness, joy and Freedom from all of lifes burdens.

Thanks for letting me share.

REZ

Glad you made it back. Try going to AA. It worked for me--and still works. One of the many useful AA slogans is: "Stay away from old playmates, playgrounds, and playthings."

the_undertow

if you made it 2 weeks, you know you can do it again.
and since you made it two weeks, your body probably is used to being sober, so give it what it craves - more sobriety

CarolD

What is your new plan of action?

Congrats on not giving up...

MNGirlyGirl

Funny how we can talk ourselves into thinking that we really believe that little devil on our shoulder. Glad you are starting over!! Just a small glich on the road to recovery. Stay strong!

lucyfoly

Carol,

Don't have one.. Just one day at a time.. I have 4 kids and find it very hard to make it to AA. Husband not very supportive. Thinks AA is not for me.

Luckyv2

Thanks for your post, today is my two weeks so I needed to hear that today. Also I will tell you what a dear friend told me "maybe this time you can get two weeks and a day. Maybe this time I can get 10 months 2 weeks and a day, Maybe that other guy that slipped after 21 years can get 21 years and a day. Just For Today.

Love Vic

igfan

Hi Lucy,
Dust yourself off and get back on the wagon. That's all you can do. One day at a time, don't worry about making 2 weeks......you just don't have to drink TODAY. And then tomorrow, same thing.....just for today.

I understand the "husband not very supportive" thing. My husband is very supportive now, but it hasn't always been that way. It took over a year of being miserable before he realized how important it was to me to quit drinking. He used to get upset when i'd leave to go to meetings, i think he felt threatened (too many movies) but finally i had to stop worrying about how he felt. How i felt was what was important. I'm sure if he had known that i was looking at trees as a way out he would have wanted me to get help sooner. It's not easy, but i can honestly say that i would not be sober today (91 days BTW-a personal best) without the help of the people here at SR and the women in AA.

Hang in there Lucy, YOU CAN DO IT!
luv,
Cheryl

lucyfoly

Thank you all.

Yes, I think my husband is scared of me going to AA. Means I might be more powerful than him.

Today I feel good again about being sober and I'm not going to beat myself up about falling off the wagon.

Thanks for the support

wingsfree

Hi Lucy.....a warm welcome to SoberRecovery



Yeah not fun is it....know what try really hard not to focus on your sober time...remember "One Day At A Time" I say this because that's what I was doing, only to get disappointed over and over again.

We fall we get back up as many times as it takes. I'm so sorry you don't have a supportive hubby....I can relate to that, mine loves to egg me on, sit and drink in front of me when he's seen how hard I've been trying to beat this buggar for a long time. Hope you find another means of support, and shame on some of these husbands, double shame. This isn't a game, it kills.

AA helped me when I went, but it's not for me, I know a lot would shake their heads on that....but. I really wish you could find a way to go and try it out, also to let you know you're not ALONE. You're never alone with this while you hang out here, please find strength with that, we're all walking along side of you, all fighting the same battle, pull strength from that Lucy.

Ah 4 children that's gotta be tough, oh I remember those days being so sick and hungover and taking care of my children, to this day I don't know how I did it, mine are grown now, and I'm full of guilt shame and regrets, because I didn't try back then, please don't let that be you, it's not worth it.

What's helped me....the more knowledge we cram into our brains with this the stronger it will make you, it's a slow learning process but worth the effort and willingness. Keep posting here, keep reading, SR has a wealth of knowledge, plus the gang that are here are the best teachers around, woohooo to them all, I know I've been here almost 3 years.

You might be interested in checking this out, another alternative..SMART Recovery..Self Management and Recovery http://smartrecovery.infopop.cc/eve/ubb.x loads of good information there plus homework I guess you could call it.

Here's a very helpful thread from here...Quitting What To Expect http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-expect.html

Anyway go easy on yourself...get in touch with your Higher Power, that force is sitting there waiting for you, reach out to it, it gives you a strength that words can't explain.

Wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery, it can only get better and better. YOU'RE NOT ALONE...keep reminding yourself of that, grab the strength from that, it's helped me and others and will with you too.

Lots of hugs, we all could use more of them.......Denise

ineedalife

I know you can do it - and you will. 14 SOBER days is a lot! If you can get to 14, you can get to 15, then 16, then 17.................... Congratulations for deciding to start again!

lucyfoly

I'll tell you that after drinking one day the cravings are worst than ever, but I am determined for myself to stay sober.

igfan

It's a progressive disease Lucy, that's the part that really sucks. It's harder each time to dig yourself out of the hole.

Hang in there!

lucyfoly

Well, I need to keep myself out of that whole. I really do enjoy being sober-no hangovers, no guilt, no looking my kids in the eyes and saying sorry all the time.

I'm sure these craving will go away at one point..

CarolD

Here is whatt I did for

Cravings....

In early recovery . I timed my cravings.
Mine were 5/7 minutes in duration.
I can overcome most things for that short time!

I took action during that space.
Brushing my teeth...eating a Lifesaver...drinking water
(notice the oral connection?)

The longer I stayed sober they lessened in both frequency and intensity.

Keep going forward...

Sugah

I was in a situation where I wanted to seek help, but I had the same kind of feeling. I'm wondering if my situation was like yours.

What do you mean by "means I might be more powerful than him" ? Maybe we can help you with some of our experiences.

Alcoholism is a fully treatable disease, but most of us found we had to have help.

Peace & Love,
Sugah