Day Nine and not feeling good
lucy
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Treasure Coast, Fl
Posts: 16
Day Nine and not feeling good
Today is day 9 and I am finding it to be the hardest yet.
Because of me going into Detox, my husband lost his job. Now I really fee guilty.
Just trying to hang on today.
Lucy
Because of me going into Detox, my husband lost his job. Now I really fee guilty.
Just trying to hang on today.
Lucy
you are having a bad dayMember
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Rest of My Life
Posts: 38
Lucy,
I'm on day 9 as well and the past couple of days were better. Today is just over the top with work, other stuff and demands. I'm keeping the course because I know the pain of going back and starting over again will be MUCH worse that the garbage of today. It sure seems easier to handle when I'm high on pills and alc, but I know that is only a temporary solution. The perminant solution is to get clear headed and prioritize and deal with problems as a rational person. Dealing with life stuff being high only gives me a temporaty feeling of sucess and it's false to boot.
Your guilt will pass when you get your life back. How guilty would you feel if you used again and the consequences of your detox were for not?
I'm on day 9 as well and the past couple of days were better. Today is just over the top with work, other stuff and demands. I'm keeping the course because I know the pain of going back and starting over again will be MUCH worse that the garbage of today. It sure seems easier to handle when I'm high on pills and alc, but I know that is only a temporary solution. The perminant solution is to get clear headed and prioritize and deal with problems as a rational person. Dealing with life stuff being high only gives me a temporaty feeling of sucess and it's false to boot.
Your guilt will pass when you get your life back. How guilty would you feel if you used again and the consequences of your detox were for not?
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
[Lucy]. Great big hug.
If your husband lost his job because you went into detox, was the job worth having? I don't understand how or why that would happen, but I don't live in Florida, or even in the U.S. Here in Canada, I'd sue the employer for unjust dismissal. I'd win big.
Congratulations on your sobriety and your determination. Hang in there.
I've been sober over 17 years. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
If your husband lost his job because you went into detox, was the job worth having? I don't understand how or why that would happen, but I don't live in Florida, or even in the U.S. Here in Canada, I'd sue the employer for unjust dismissal. I'd win big.
Congratulations on your sobriety and your determination. Hang in there.
I've been sober over 17 years. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
Still learning; ever grateful
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 842
Hey Lucy! Sorry you're having a hard time, but DON'T feel guilty!! How did your going into recovery make your hubbie lose his job? I used to be in Human Resources, and that's unlawful if they used those words! There's something called 'Employment at Will' - where they can fire someone for no reason at all, but it has its limitations.
Still, don't even think about drinking. It WILL get better. Do something nice for yourself.
Still, don't even think about drinking. It WILL get better. Do something nice for yourself.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Hi Lucy,
I am BigSis and I am an alcoholic, but I got into a 12-step program because of my codependence.
What your husband might one day learn (hopefully) is that it was HIS choice to deal with your alcoholism. He knew the rules at his work, and his obligation to you. He still chose... and that choice is his responsibility to deal with.
At some point, he may have a resentment about that choice, and it will still be his.... something HE will need to figure out.
Which is why there IS a program called Alanon and why it is so important for those who love alcoholics to find it.
But, like AA, I believe we can get to the program "too soon", before we have enough pain to be willing to work the program. So I would not tell you to "make" him go, or even "urge" him to go. But I would make the materials available to him (they are often colocated with AA) and if he decides he wants to try it out, I would definitely "support" that choice.
Until then, you may have to "wait" for his sobriety from codependence... just as he has "waited" (I hope) for your sobriety from alcohol.
I saw a Father Tom video once where a newly sober man was thinking of getting a divorce after a few months of sobriety.
Father Tom asks the man how long he had been married.
Eight Years, was the answer.
And he asked if had been drinking during that time.
Yes, was the answer.
Father Tom thought it a good idea to give the wife as much time in sobriety as she had given to the man when he was drinking. I thought that was excellent advice.
Early sobriety is hell on relationships, but I know that going back to drinking doesn't generally make them better. Just stay in today. I am rooting for you, Lucy. Nine days is a damned fine start!!!
I am BigSis and I am an alcoholic, but I got into a 12-step program because of my codependence.
What your husband might one day learn (hopefully) is that it was HIS choice to deal with your alcoholism. He knew the rules at his work, and his obligation to you. He still chose... and that choice is his responsibility to deal with.
At some point, he may have a resentment about that choice, and it will still be his.... something HE will need to figure out.
Which is why there IS a program called Alanon and why it is so important for those who love alcoholics to find it.
But, like AA, I believe we can get to the program "too soon", before we have enough pain to be willing to work the program. So I would not tell you to "make" him go, or even "urge" him to go. But I would make the materials available to him (they are often colocated with AA) and if he decides he wants to try it out, I would definitely "support" that choice.
Until then, you may have to "wait" for his sobriety from codependence... just as he has "waited" (I hope) for your sobriety from alcohol.
I saw a Father Tom video once where a newly sober man was thinking of getting a divorce after a few months of sobriety.
Father Tom asks the man how long he had been married.
Eight Years, was the answer.
And he asked if had been drinking during that time.
Yes, was the answer.
Father Tom thought it a good idea to give the wife as much time in sobriety as she had given to the man when he was drinking. I thought that was excellent advice.
Early sobriety is hell on relationships, but I know that going back to drinking doesn't generally make them better. Just stay in today. I am rooting for you, Lucy. Nine days is a damned fine start!!!
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