Luckyv2

I really hate to say that, because I have been here for over a year. But I don't feel as if I have much to offer people except don't do what I have been doing. I don't feel that it is fair to anyone here, that I stay and keep using. I try to hang on, I guess that I am not ready. I just want to thank all of you for your help and friendship. Nothing else to say here, sorry guys

Love Vic

greeteachday

Vic, I think you are being unfair to yourself and to others here who benefit so from your encouragement, positive attitude and posts. No one ever said this is a walk in the park and I'm so sorry you struggle so with this...I wish there was a way to wave the wand and make it better.

IMO, no one can doubt your sincerity and drive to help yourself and that is so great. I may be way off base here, but I think you may get impatient when everything doesn't fall in place pretty quickly after you stop using. It is hard work, really hard work and maybe if you can try smaller steps early on and just focus on keeping away from the things that trigger it might help - Don't forget about people, places and things, Vic. Maybe it would be helpful if those people, places and things were avoided for quite awhile or if absolutely, positively imperative (remember your life is so much more important than material things), that you deal with them with someone you can trust and who will help you by your side.
I pray that you will seriously consider not worrying so much about things that can be taken care of later, and focus on you and your recovery. It's not being weak to accept help from others, to take some time for rehab to let your body and mind heal and focus on you and being the wonderful, sober and happy you that you CAN become.
All said with love and concern.

Hope

Vic,

Please don't leave. We need you here. I need you here. You are a very important part of SR. I know how you feel because many times I have felt that very same way. I felt so ashamed of coming back here and having to admit that I fell again...that was *SO* hard but I prayed for the courage and enough humbleness to come back and try this again. I never gave up and I don't want you to give up either. When the time is right, it will just click. That is hard to explain what can happen in that moment, but it just happens. Sometimes, it just takes many tried to make it stick. You will get it when you are supposed to. One day, you will have the experience to reach out and help someone who is in your exact same position. You will have the right words to say to them because you know what it's like. I do too, Vic.

I know the pain that you are in and how much it hurts but please stay and let us love you until you can learn to love yourself. We will be your strength until you can stand on your own. We will all hold on tight to you. Take our hands and hold on tight. We won't let you go, Vic. WE will all be here hugging you and holding you close. There is strength in numbers you know. Never lose the faith or hope.

I am praying for you. Please stay. We love and care about you Vic. (((((((((Vic))))))))))))

Love,
Cheryl

Steve58

Vic,

I'm glad I checked in tonight. Dont leave, we need you and you need us. I often refer to myself as a work in progress when it comes to sobrity. I'm no model of reform either, but my SR family has helped me have more good days than bad since I started coming here. And if we do that much for you, give you reason to have more good (non-using) days than bad, then your life will be better for it.

Your a part of our family here. I totally respect your openess and honesty, as Hope4 says, someday it will click for you (and maybe even me). Between now, and then, if coming here keeps you clean one more day a week than not, then Please stick around.

I am kinda new here, but from what I see, I really believe your are a sincere and caring person. I'm glad you're here, Dont write yourself off from us, we understand, and we're here for you.

Have a great holiday!

Love,
S

tyler

Come on Vic!! To use a 12-step cliche, sounds like you have your a$$ parked on the "pity potty". You know darn well you are needed around here. You are struggling now, that's what we do. Let others learn from your struggles and successes. Geez, I've been here going on 4 years and I keep *ucking up, of course maybe I don't have anything to offer either!! Support is what we offer here, you've offered it to countless people and received it from just as many. WE DO NEED YOU HERE!! You are just listening to your addiction, disease, evil voices inside your head, whatever you want to call it. You certainly can leave if you want, but don't let it be because you think you have nothing to offer, because that is BS and you know it. I'm feeling your hard times bro, this is the time to stick around, not bail out. Take care.

2dayzmuse

Vic, we've been through this over and over again, the in and out of the revolving door. I don't know what else to tell you. I've already said everything there is to say. Leave, stay, use, get sober. It's up to you. Be safe...

ru4outoo

I wish you would stay Vic, you have been a friend and a inspiration. You can do this Vic, I have faith in you and I am sure others feel the same. Please reconsider.

Live

I hope you stay around. You helped me alot over this last week, so maybe I am just being selfish, but well, yeah, I sure hope you stay around.

leviathon

You are wrong, as long as you are here and trying you belong, quiting on a resource that provides you support and hope is wrong. Commit to only using the site when straight if that makes you feel better.

northbelle

Awwww....I know what you mean!! It is so frustrating isn't it? We beat ourselves up more than anyone else ever could though. You are really being too hard on yourself. I admire your HONESTY in your posts. You are right on much of the time because you speak from your heart. Nobody has the market cornered on recovery . Some of us just really struggle to find our way and it is not about the destination..it is about the journey. Be brave enough to keep on seeking recovery and know that many stumble along right beside you.
northbelle

ndgrace

I vote that you stick around, I have been reading your posts, and some of the others that have struggled and have been encouraged not to give up. I had 25 days sober last month, and those are the days I am going to focus on., not the days i messed up and used. Steve is right. If we have 1 more day sober then not, then we should be encouraged and keep trying. Being honest with ourselves is on of the biggest steps! Hang in there!

aloneagainor

VICTOR!
Drugs awfully mess with our brains, our bodies, our spirits--you know that your opting out of being here is opening the door to retreat, and that's NOT the way you want to go.

This past Monday you wrote to me:
--Try not to be so damn hard on yourself. We can't think our way into a new way of thinking, we have to act our way into a new way of thinking and how very true that is. Ok my friend hope that your day is filled with many blessings.

That's right Victor, ACT. You know how much those words you wrote meant to me; you have so much to offer to so many. Get through this rough period of today and keep moving forward. I hope that your day is filled with many blessings too, my friend.

Little Missy

Well ((Vic)) Not quite sure why I am posting this, cause if you're leaving, you're probably gone. hehe

Early sobriety, or when trying to quit is a time in which you need support. The great thing about this site and recovery programs is we get help, with nobody asking for anything in return. This is a time for you to take, not give.

I still go through times where I just need to read, or listen. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to give. That means I am in need of something. It is a time for growth and a time for change!!

It's part of the journey!! Don't give up on it!!

BigSis

Always do what you've always done, and you will always get what you've always got.



I pray the opportunity will present itself to you to try something different, to discover you have the strength to cross over the threshhold and find real sobriety that you would not give up for any thing.

Today, maybe.

((((Vic)))))

Anna

Vic, It's all up to you.

wingsfree

So where you going Vic???

Phooey you don't have much to offer. You can't see what WE see Vic...I've been here almost three years, and I understand how you feel, but running is not the solution, never will be. What ever this addiction beast is, it keeps telling US, WE aren't ready..but WE are cause WE keep at it, until one day soon we'll be free of it like so many others.

What happened to WE REFUSE TO GIVE UP??????

Can't say to much my computer needs a new modem, so might not be around if it stops working and I get a new one.

I'm not ever giving up on YOU or anyone here including myself, which I have to many times to even count. We're human Vic, no one is perfect, you've put so much work into this. Ok I'm done rambling, you do what you gotta do, SR is your home, yep, one huge family don't be gone to long if you decide to stay away.

Back to cleaning my windows keeping busy.

Hugs.......Denise

BSPGirl

I wish you'd stay but eh can't stop you, so take care.

Luckyv2

Thanks everyone I should push that thank you button on everyone. I will stay I posted more on another thread...just really down right now

2dayzmuse

Hey, Vic. What's you plan for the day?

Luckyv2

Um I woke up late, so I have posted my post (especially the Day by Day in the substance forum), then I am going to log off now and do my morning readings even though it is the afternoon now, I am going to take a shower (I stink really bad ), I am going to go to a meeting at 4:30 and then my NA meeting at 7, then I will come home and probably do some more posting and reading, then go to bed. That is what I am planning right now anyway, maybe before the meeting I might have sometime to start answering my questions in Step ONE> Anyway thanks for asking.


Vic