Change4life

I havent ben here in weeks too busy doing all the wrong things. 2 days clean and a slow realization of how low I have gone has be scaird. I do have a temporary roof over my head somewhere safe where I dont have to worry about being beaten or raped so there is some relief, but everything else is all screwed up. Glad to be out of my car I have been living in it with no insurance for a month now. It sort of feels good to be clean for the moment. I dont seem to be as obssess with where my next hit is coming from as I usually am. I threw a huge temper-tantrum yesterday when I couldnt get high, but I didnt go out looking. Usually I will go to all lenghts to find $, but even though I threw a fit I stayed put. I guess that is a agood sign. Last night some one I dont even know called me a skinny crack head and that realyy stung cause I must look pretty bad for them to be able to tell not knowing me at all. I couold hock my guitar or amp, but Im not so I guess tht is a good sign also. Hanging in here for now. I am staying with a friend I havent seen in a long time, and they are trying to help, atleast they want to try and fatten me up a little I am down to 90 pounds and look absolutely disgusting. I am really week also so I guess a little food and rest cant hurt. Before i came here I had been awake for a new record of 120 hours or so slept 2 hours and popped up again for another 4 days. I finally slept last night for probably 16 hours and I am till exhausted, but felt the need to come here before I layed back down. I am going to try and gain some weight and some energy so that I could attemt to get some kind of job, but for now I am to weak, look like ****, and I am still suffering fro, severe depression. I noticed sleep deprivation does wonders for my mood. I seem to get ridiculously happy, but that probably has something to do with being high as a kite. So now I am cranky and sober. CRANKY!!!

Smyle

We missed you and prayers to you......Can you get to a meeting ?

Change4life

I am sure there are meetings near here, but I am not familiar with the town or surrounding are at all yet

Luckyv2

Good to see ya my friend...I have 6 days today I think I have struggled since valentines. So be gentle with yourself right now aok...

Love Vic

Hope

Be gentle with yourself.

Call the NA hotline and find out where the meetings are. See if there is someone who can give you a ride.

Please give that option some thought. I know that you can do this, Beth, and I don't want to see you suffer. I want you to get well. When you stay clean, everything that seems so hopeless and rough now can slowly be rebuilt. All is not lost. The people at NA are there to help and so are all of your friends at SR. You are not in this all by yourself because you have many people who care about you.

Anna

Hi Bfree,

I am glad you're safe and I wish you well.

Please take care of yourself.

pmaslan

I want to wish you well too......it sounds very dangerous...
please take care of yourself....

GeorgiaPeach

Bfree, tell me what city you are in and I will look up a meeting for you if you want. I am just so happy and relieved to see you back. 2 days is good and hopefully we can get to day 3. One day at a time, it took more than a few days to get where you are so it will take more than a few to get you back. Hang in there, we are here!

earlybird

Go to a meeting. I didnt know where any meetings were in my city until I did the work, and found out. And Ive lived here for 30 years.

earlybird

*sigh*

this is the 2000's. That isnt a valid excuse anymore. Mapquest? AA Website?