Lunkker

Hi, I'm a noob. It was suggested that I post and introduce myself, so here goes...

I'm Kevin too, and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for right around 100 days this go-round. I went through the navy's 28 day inpatient rehab in February. Immediately following treatment I was shipped off to the middle east, which is where I am now... probably not the ideal situation for someone just out of rehab, but there ya go. I'm pretty isolated, not able to go to meetings and I don't really have a sponsor yet, just a guy at my command who has 11 years sober, and things are kind of on hold until I get back to the real world this summer. It's been rough.

I've been an alcoholic since I was in middle school, maybe even earlier, but it's just in the past year or so that I've realized the fact. This 100 days I've got under my belt is probably the longest I've been sober since middle school. I'm really lucky in the sense that I still have my family, my career and everything. Just through sheer stupid luck I haven't been in any serious trouble, I had one DUI and that was in 1986. The only real concern I have now is my health, which hasn't been too great as a result of the six-year binge I just ended. I quit smoking in March, and haven't had a single smoke since, not even a drag.

I started looking for AA websites yesterday after having a bad experience a few days ago. I got into a situation where I was with a bunch of people I work with and they started drinking. It wasn't planned, but almost before I knew it I was surrounded by beer, mixed drinks and jello shots. I wasn't really tempted to drink at the but it got me kind of depressed. Then the next morning I pretty much fell apart. I thought I was having an emotional breakdown... that's probably what it was. I'm not sure, but I think it may have been a delayed reaction to being around the alcohol. I was warned about PAWS, Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, but they didn't tell me it was going to be *that* bad. Instead of feeling good about resisting temptation, I felt horribly depressed and worthless and just in total despair. But I made it through without drinking, even though now people are talking about how I'm a mental case. I don't want to go insane!

Sober4ever's thread answered most of my questions. Unfortunately I can't access chat, I don't know why.

Interests: I like science fiction, science, politics, the Internet, MMOs like World Of Warcraft, reading, scuba diving, and animals. I'm not a nut about anything though. Favorite bands are Black Sabbath, AC/DC, Zepplin, Linkin Park, System of a Down, Godsmack and similar. Favorite TV show is Sci-Fi's Battlestar Galactica. Favorite movies are Bladerunner, The Fifth Element, O Brother Where Art Thou. I like Bettie Page and Adriana Lima. And Snood. Politically I tend towards the conservative, but I don't toe anyone's party line.

Thinking about my post-military life, I think I want to become a drug and alcohol abuse counsellor. I'll be going back to school part time, hopefully in January.

I'm looking forward to having long meaningful discussions with a few bazillion posts on these forums!

Luckyv2

Lunkker welcome to SR and we are glad that your here. I am Vic and I am an addict of sorts. I have 3 days today, I have had a longer period but I listened to the lie that I could do it again. anyway it is a busy thread going on but wanted to let you also know that someone here and others will be here to welcome you.

Vic

lulu70

Hey there, Lunkker. Welcome to SR. Glad you found us!

Great introduction. Sounds like you have got a lot on your plate right now. Thank you for fighting for us over there. You are a braver person than I.

I am an alcoholic with a precious 2+ years of sobriety. (It still feels weird to say that, like it can't have possibly been that long.) SR has been a big part of my recovery, second only to my face to face meetings. Of course, SR is here 24/7 and I can hang out here in my pajamas. That's sort of frowned upon at the face to face meetings here.

Hope you will stick around for a while. Others will be along to greet you soon. Feel free to jump in on our chat thread as well......

Looking forward to getting to know you and congrats on the 100 days!! Take care of you....

wingsfree

Hi Lunkker....a warm welcome to SoberRecovery.

My name is Denise, and I'm an alcoholic, sober 4 days, and have been fighting this battle a long time, I don't want to go insane either.

Congrats on your sober days fantastic, wishing you all the best in your journey to recovery.

2dayzmuse

Welcome Lunkker. I'm glad you found us here. I'm LeAnne and I'm an alcoholic. I've ben coming here for 2 years now. It has been great support and I have met some wonderful people that I am honored to call my friends. Hang in there, it gets better. Keep coming back. You are on the right track.

Lunkker

Thank you all.

I forgot to mention that I have lousy self-esteem too.

Several people have just quit talking to me for no apparent reason since I got out of rehab. Not even drinking buddies. I can't figure that one out.

CarolD

Hi Kevin... TThank you for serving our country.
I will add your name to my prayer list for your safe return.
"All gave some..some gave all"

Yes I agree with your thoughts on PAWS.
Check this out please..

http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

Blessomhs and Congratulations on your sober time!

BSPGirl

Welcome to SR, Lunkker!

Justme57

Hi there Kevin, my name is Lee and I too, am an alcoholic.

Welcome to SR, I have 2 + years sobriety as well, and SR has had a huge influence on my recovery.

Keep posting, and take care

HUGX
Lee

Anna

Welcome Kevin,

I'm so glad you found us here and you'll find lots of support and information.

The reason you had trouble with Chat is because we had many new upgrades just a few days ago and Chat seems to be still having some problems. Don't give up on it.

SR is a lifeline for me and I hope that you keep posting here.

aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

Thanks Kevin for sharing ans welcome to SR.

I too was a 28 day rehab intreatment patiant back in Aug.90. With the tools and recovery knowledge that was given to me i haven't had a drink since. For that I am truely grateful.

What an honor it is to have u here with us kEVIN as u serve our country. : )

A wish for a safe return this summer.

I entered AA thru family intervention after alcohol quit working for me. After a series of incidences like a car accident back in Feb 90 where my car hit a 2 ft. notch cut out in the road making my car run off the road hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the ground. I ended up in the hospital for 10 days with a high alcohol blood count, numerous broken ribs and contusions. One of the ribs sunctured my spleen which i could have bled to death if they had not removed it.

It took me 3 months to heal nicely with no alcohol, just pain pills. Well in Aug. 90 the urge to drink came back more powerful than ever. It was then i was right back out on the street drinking then returning home to a horrible arguement which i then decide i had had enough. I was ready to check out. So i downed some pain pills with wine and off to bed i went hoping not to wake up the next day.

The sound of a faint phone ring woke me up and with much numbness and drowsiness i reached for it. To this day i believe it was my HP calling me to get up because He wasnt thru with me yet. Then family intervention took place with them placing in th back of a handless police car ad off to rehab i went.

How dare they do that to me.....is what i angerily kept telling myself. Today i see it as them doing for me what i couldnt do for myself. And for that im truely grateful.

100 days Kevin....that's a a number of days sober collected together one day at a time to get where u r today. Good for u. : )

When i was in treatment i was told a story that went like this....We go to the forest to hunt....we have to walk deep into the forest to kill the bear....the further we walk its like dinking....the more we drink the further along we go....well, uve reach ur destination in the forest...u know u have to turn around to come back out.....and so the longer we drink getting to where we cant go anymore....well we have to turn around and come back....meaning it will take that many steps we made into drinking to walk back out of it. If that makes sense.

Or here's one.....when i began drinking which was in my mid teen....well i quite growing emotionally possibly mentally. So i stayed in a teen state of mind while i was drinking. Then when i got sober at the age of 30...i had the mentality of a teenager.....if that makes sense.

Or here's one....this is how they explained it to me in treatment.....When we get sober we put to rest this new born tiger inside us...the tiger representing alcoholism. As long as i dont drink this little tiger stays asleep. As years go on we get older and so does the tiger inside. Its still asleep but growing....so can u imagine if u havent drank in many years this tiger is pretty huge by now.....if i was to EVER take a drink and wake this tiger up...then this once little tiger would be a HUGE. FUROCIOUS. CLAWS, GROWLS HUNGRY.....I would be so unmanagable dont u think?

So for me to drink would not be a good thing.

14 yrs passed for me working my program to the best of my ability. However i still sensed something else want not right. I had heard many times about possible chemical embalances. Well at the beginning of my sobriety i was told to work on my alcoholism first and then if i had other issues later to then addresss them. Well thats what i did....my stubborness kept me from reaching out for medical help long before now and thus made it miserable for myself and others around me.

Finally last yr i seek the medical help and knowledge about my chemical imbalance. And today the results of that actions is a plus. Why did i wait so long to add happiness in my life. Slow learner i guess. : )

Keving ur in a good place here amongst some good recovery.

I know when i got sober i had to any lengths to try and stay sober and that meant to leave behind those so called friends i thought were mine back in the clubs. I had to change people places and things that would remind me of alcohol.

I went to many meetings doing my little service work of bringing cookies to each meeting i went to. That way i wouldnt feel alone and allowed others to either see me or get to know me. I went thru the actions for many yrs just suiting up and showing up. I listened and absorbed what ever i needed to hear taking what i wanted and leaving the rest.

Today, im away from my original AA support back in Baton Rouge and now here in houston with u guys in SR.

I am very grateful for the site. For now its my life support staying connected to AA.

Thanks for letting me share.

OctoberKayte

Hi, Kevin, I'm Kayte. I am new, too, and believe that this is the best place for those of us who are feeling disconnected from others. I am reaching out for the first time and have found nothing but encouragement here. I can't believe what a difference it has made in my lonely life to communicate with other people who can relate to the things I struggle with.
So, please keep posting and accept the support of this wonderful group...

I really respect what you are doing as a member of the armed forces.Be proud of yourself!

Lunkker

Thank you very much for the warm welcome and encouragement! It looks like SR is just the place I need.

Just to clarify, I'm on ship. The only fighting I'm doing is to stay awake :-)

leviathon

Welcome Lunkker, you are in good company if you want to be straight and to deal with your addiction, as well as most other life issues.

Please continue to share and visit often, Levi

Hope

Welcome to the SR family, Kevin! Support is here 24/7 and the people are wonderful. Congrats on your sober days . That is fantastic!