I'm a winelover, but I can't drink it... That's life.
 

I was one of those determined folks who believed that just a little willpower would do the trick of getting me back to "normal". I have proven myself wrong. Even though I'm fairly new myself, I hope my experience resonates with some of you newcomers and some of you who are just reading around.

After a few years of thinking about getting control of my drinking (and very weak attempts to actually do something about it) I reached a miserable point of not wanting to live each day but not wanting to die. I decided enough was enough. I was going to finally moderate my intake. I cut down my volume per day and number of drunks per week until finally I was sober for 30 days just like Moderation Management suggests and even attended a few AA meetings for good measure. I felt good.

I then added alcohol back into my life. :C023:

Immediately I could feel the difference but was hellbent on getting control. I had many loud and painful arguments in my head between my evil alcoholic voice and my HP (if you will). It convinced me that if 7 drinks in one week was OK (since it evened out to 1 per day), then it was OK to pack them into 1 or 2 days. It convinced me that if I could have 1 and feel fine then I must not be an alcoholic so therefore I can get drunk tomorrow and not worry about it. I cried so much as I went back and forth between drinking and not drinking.

Wanting to be happy wanting to be able to drink were just not compatible. :bigcry

I'm not saying that I have my life all figured out, but I feel better not drinking. So for now, I'm just not going to drink. I've had enough of the emotional rollercoaster that I truly believe is caused by the alcohol. I know there are still going to be tough days and tough moments, but I also know that SR has helped me get this far, and I'm sure it will help me keep going.

I'm a winelover (and vodka, tequilla, beer, gin, whiskey, amaretto, irish cream, you name it and I loved it). But I can't drink it.

C'est la vie. :ws_flower

Nice post C'est. Nice name too! :)

DK

Yes, I think it's such a relief in a way when you finally accept that you just can't drink. I spent years obsessing over controlling my drinking. It took so much of my energy into plotting and planning I had little interest in anything else. And, I always lost the battle of controlling it anyways.

I know it's a very hard decision to make, but once you've made it, you can move on.

Hi C'est , welcome to SR!

yep, I agree with Anna, it was a relief to just accept it , and move on

HUGX
Lee

I know exactly what you are going through. The difference being I never tried to moderate my drinking. After I had that first one, it was balls to the wall from there. I forgot about any previous restraints I had placed on my drinking. I couldn't control it so I quit trying to cut down. I just drank.

There is life without alcohol. You can get there. You remind me so much of myself. Today, I can honestly say, I don't miss drinking one bit. It represents so much pain and misery. I'm happy without it. I'm so glad you came to your realization. We all have to make the attempt at moderation. The truth is, it just doesn't work. However, we have to be convinced of that. No one can tell us otherwise. We all some how think we are different then everyone else. Truthfully, we are all so much alike. Hah...it's almost funny. Congratulations and good luck.

I thought this would be a clever way of making sure all the people that know me as "winelover" would be able to connect me to my new name. I'm not sure if it's working.

LEE, IT'S ME "WINELOVER". And I can't drink it, so that's life (c'est la vie) get it???

OMG! I did have a thought it might be you Ang ! :)

Please take ya foot off the welcome mat, it is getting dirty! LOL

I will have to add the Miss c'est le vie to my Buddy list

HUGX you

Lee

You make me smile!!
I'm just goin all out with the new me. Did you check out my signature? Now I just need to figure out how to get an avatar.

What kind of avatar are you looking for. Google what you are interested in and save it to your pictures. From there we can help you resize it and get it up. We'll get you all set up.

Willpower, using in moderation, quitting-feeling good-reintroducing "just a little"-feeling bad, back and forth and up and down and around on the roller coaster. Oh, yes, it's Winelover! I thought I knew you, as I see me in there too. The games we play. That we don't have to play. Time to get off that ride, it's making us sick. C'est la vie. Beautiful!

Love the new name, Vie. It suits you!

Me either:c005:
I type that in often just in case I forget AGAIN,
Congrats on your new direction and new name.

I love the new name!!

Great post!

Thanks. I'm having fun with my new attitude. It's funny how something so little can start a big change. I read that in a thread by Ann in "What is Recovery". I think I'm going to get my hair colored next week. Maybe just a little change and a good haircut. Gotta keep the ball rolling!

Wonderful...:cheer

You are making me smile BIG today, Vie! Just reading your posts here is actually making me stronger--thank you!

Jane :)

I'm so happy you found me, Jane.
Now where can I find a nice flower avatar?

Vie! I saw the name and knew who you were right away... looking good Ang! Life on lifes terms, my husband says it all the time... and he "plays the tape straight through" fast forwards it I believe... when he starts to think "one" would be nice, he goes straight to 101, knowing it will come and quickly. Just for today, four months later. Hugs, I've missed you.

c'est la vie, I really appreciate you sharing what went through your head. I too had the same struggle and had to come to the conclusion that I am an alcoholic, I cannot drink... ever, and that is life.

Levi

:lmao :lmao Ha Ha Ha, I just figured out the Thanks button by thanking myself... I can't type anymore, I am too busy patting myself on the back!!!:C023: